I didn't really realize I had anxiety until March of this year. I was hospitalized twice this year, January and March, for depression and i began realizing that I had anxiety. My depression is improving and my anxiety as well, but it was bad. I had extreme social anxiety. I would freak out, inside my head, if my hair didn't look perfect or if i missed a high five or if stumbled on my words. I thought that people were talking about me behind my back, analyzing everything that I did. It wasn't just social anxiety though. The worst anxiety I have ever felt was in December of 2013. A girl I was interested in told me that she had been raped in July of 2013 and I was so upset by it. I cried and cried. My mind was racing, all I could think about was two men raping her. She told me who the people that raped her were and all I wanted to do was hurt them. I blamed myself for something that happened to her before I even knew here. I just don't know if I could handle another thing like that. I don't know if my anxiety is under control because I am learning to control or if it is just because nothing bad has happened.
heapograss heapograss
22-25, M
Jul 26, 2014