History Repeating Itself.

Well for the longest time I had a large group of friends I knew since I was very young. And the older I got the more I realized they weren't very good friends. It wasn't until three years ago that I decided to cut ties from them. What did it for me was being friends with a girl I knew since I was 11. I thought she was my best friend and thought of her as a sister. We spent almost every day together but then we had a stupid fight at the end of high school.

We didn't talk for a year. After that year we made up and I thought we could go back to being close friends. I was wrong, she changed so much and it was for the worst. She became more selfish, seemed more annoyed with about anything that I talked about. And on top of that I did so much for her. She went away to another country, got severely sick and had her boyfriend there dump her and run off with another girl. When she came home, and was severely sick and depressed I did everything to try and make her feel better. I took her out places, bought her things, visited her and always checked in on her.

How many times did I find myself having her call me at 3 AM crying and trying to console her, even though I had to go to university early in the morning? can't even keep count. How many times did I let her borrow money, or buy her clothes at the clothing store I worked at for her because she was too sick to get a job? countless times. And what did I find out after all this time, after all I did for her, that she whined to other people about how annoying I was. How she never bothered to invite me to anything, any parties she went to, Halloween parties at her own house. How she lied to me about a lot of things. She ignored me even more when she found a new boyfriend and hung around her own little clique, never inviting me to anything.

I thought she was my best friend, I thought of her as a sister. I was beyond hurt. So that was it for me, I cut off ties with her. My thought was always "Well if these people wanted to be friends with me, if they really cared about me as much as I cared about them they would try and get in contact with me. They would see that they really hurt a friend and try to apologize." Nope. Nothing. She didn't bother with me, she just continued with her fake life, her fake friends. The most she did was ask my friend why I wouldn't talk to her. And recently her mother added me to facebook to spy on me and then delete me...I don't think these half assed things are signs of caring. I think it's the opposite. If your best friend was so important to you, you would do everything in your power to get a hold of them and work things out. I would. I have before with people. Seems I'm always the one doing the fixing in friendships.

This is just the first of many people who did that crap to me. I had a male friend I really cared about, ignore me while spending all his time with my roommate and not even bother to talk to me or act friendly when I talked to him. Another friend of mine just made snarky comments clearly about me and ignored me through facebook with the same friend. I got rid of them, after getting told bad things about me from them my whole life, always being in the wrong with every argument I got rid of them from my life. I never heard from them again.

I had a needy guy friend, who was possessive of me and liked to load all his problems on me as a friend last year. I have a boyfriend, he knew I did, yet he was so needy and lonely he was possessive and weird. And every night I would come home to a 6 paragraph message from him on my facebook, whining about his life. Seems like the only people I attract as friends are needy and selfish.

The last straw for me is when I decided to put on a brave face and become friends with someone at a previous job I was at that I thought seemed like a really nice person. It started out so good, I really enjoyed spending time together, we spent nights talking with each other, but she said mean things about me a few times which made me upset and seemed a bit selfish. It was both of our faults that we stopped talking, but she emailed me and I thought well I guess she really cares about me as a friend and wants it to work out. So I decided to start over and be friends. She just decided to do what everyone else does to me, ignore me and pretty much act like we aren't friends. Why even bother working it out with me then? I never got that. So that was it for me. I was done with trying to make friends.

The only friend I guess you could call it I have is someone who lies and says they are too busy for me, even though their actions and facebook proves otherwise. She is more concerned about how she feels, what is reliable for her and her lazy, deadbeat boyfriend to bother with me anymore. She can be very insensitive and rude. And she has to play the victim if she does something wrong and you call her out on it. It's kind of hard to keep a friendship with someone who cries and acts like a 5 year old when you say they have hurt your feelings in a calm and mature way.

Doesn't matter how you address a problem with her, she has to be dramatic and act like she's been hurt so bad. She is always too busy, but seems pretty demanding when she wants to see me once and awhile. It never used to be that way with her, it's only when she has a boyfriend she acts like that. I can't handle that anymore and I keep my distance with her. Her over dramatic nature is too much to handle and be close friends with. Any problem she has in her life she blows out of proportion and makes a mountain out of a molehill. So when big things happen to her, it's hard to feel bad for her. Because it's like the boy who cried wolf.

So overall, I just want to work on getting out where I live and possibly have a chance of getting real friends. I gave up on the people here. I guess I just wished I meant something to these people I described above, because I really cared about them as a friend. So having them ignore me and not even bother to see me, work things out, etc hurts.
daughterofneptune daughterofneptune
22-25, F
2 Responses May 12, 2012

Its alright, it just really sucks at times but I try to always put on a brave face and find a way to b e happy : )

Man, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this.