2 Sets Of Friends

I have a "best friend" that I had been close with since jr high. She's always had 2 sets of friends 1) The Popular Friends with money and 2) The rest of us in social pergatory . I fell into the later of the two categories. It never really bothered me in highschool because she always acted the same, and I always wondered why she even hung out with them bc they didn't appear to have much in common and she would even complain about them. As we entered college she entered a big name city school and made a new set of party friends who were from the city, the "cool friends". I would visit her and have a good time and it still seemed to be like old times. As we grew older she started to change her appearence and attitude according to who she hung out with. She started to take trips back home to show her new "city friends" where she was from (we grew up in a popular vacation spot), and would only invite me last minute if she knew I was going to find out anyways. I wouldn't be able to go bc of work or fmily obligations, and even if I was able to go, I'd feel ackward bc I knew she never really wanted to invitie me in the first place.

 I had her as a bridesmaid in my wedding, and on the night of my rehearsal dinner she split to go have sex with some guy, who happened to be married and had a kid. Nice, real nice. I left sobbing. I was torn between the friend I knew and what she was being capable of (she could be really amazing when she wanted to, she even threw me an amazing bachlorette party which tooks months of preparation), and I didn't understand how she could do something like that to me. She always comes to visit on the obligatory holidays with gifts etc, but it sometimes seems forced, like she feels like she has to. We'd go out to dinner or what have you, but she never makes a trip just to hang out with me, she always has a "full schedule" and claims that "her family plans my vacations for me" when she comes to visit, and barely makes time for a lunch date. However she finds time to hang out with people she claimed she didn't even really like, or that had previously abandoned her.

Now I get a facebook messege from her regarding a mutual friend of ours (who by the way she use to complain about, but always calls her her best friend), that is pregnant, and could I please not comment about her belly (I thought I had complimented her on how cute & small she looked, and btw I wasn't the only person, there were 12 other people who said the same thing to compliment her) bc shes sensitive about it and thinks that she looks fat. Here's the messege:

"You hate that you were big w your kids and all the obnoxious comments people made like they thought they were being nice or original when really they were just insensitive douchebags...

***** hates that people can't tell she's pregnant, which makes her feel worse because she thinks strangers think she's just fat, and she thinks she's going to give birth to a midget...

What have we learned?

You can't please a pregnant woman - but if for some reason you MUST comment on her pregnancy, stay away from the belly at all costs!!"


Um excuse me?!? First of all I never thought the comments people had made to me were obnoxious, secondly are you really calling me an insensitive douchebag right now?! I have been pregnant twice, and you have not, so I think that was a little out of hand. She could have just asked to not comment on that girls belly bc she is sensitive about it. And this is following a baby shower that I had not been invited to (again we are all mutual friends), mean while there were girls there that I wasn't even aware that they were friends with. Again it shows me which group of "friends" I am in. I want to know if she e mailed the other 12 people who made similar remarks (again thinking they were complimenting her), and if she ever e mailed people in my "defense" when I was pregnant ... something tells me no.


It sucks so bad bc you know what this person is capable of, and its like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand you would think it would be easy to tell her to beat it, but on the other you still are emotionally attached to the friendship you once had and all the expieriences you had. FML, I swear I'm a magnet for this b*****

DispatchNinja83 DispatchNinja83
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 11, 2010

Judgemental, know-it-all, jealous, wannabe. I hope you stopped worrying about her & moved on with your life. She obviously has low self esteem & isn't comfotable being herself. I'd guess that's why she's wierd around you - I'd guess your fine in your own skin.