I Just Can't Seem To Overcome It

sometimes i fell so low and i just can't explain it. Some days I feel so worthless, and lonely, and hopeless even when i'm surrounded by people. somedays i just wish for one person in this world who understood me completely. i know it's my fault because i'm always so guarded but i don't take rejection well. i settle for less than i want; because what i want cannot be found. somedays i think i should just end it all & rid the world of one more worthless pile of flesh, but i'm too much of a coward to really do it. it's so selfish of me, i'm just a burden on the world with no job, no talent, no hope.... i want to make the world a better place but i am screaming into the wind and no one can hear me, worst of all i feel no one cares. people ask "how's it going?' but they want to hear "fine" they don't want the truth, they don't love saddness, lonliness, they don't want to be reminded of the dark side of life, the poor, the hungry, the desperate.... i'm sorry i'm rambling, i can't afford therapy & i've no one to talk to besides an anonymous screen
AmbivalantSpirit AmbivalantSpirit
31-35, F
3 Responses Aug 9, 2010

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shared that. I was having a very bad day. :-(

you know what. YOu have a big chemical imbalance. I felt the same way. No amount of "positive thinking" could get me to feel any different or get my *** off the couch. Finally it took antidepressant medication before I felt like life was worth living. I felt at first like I was a sucker to give into medication, or embarrassed, but you couldn't pay me enough money to feel like I used to feel. I used to pray for a car to pull out in front of me.<br />
use the net and find a group nearby if you can. Thats usually free.

i feel so much the same way.