What Keeps You Alive ?I'm a big **** up. I'm depressed. I'm suicidal. I have 3 friends but only 1 of them is in my country. Most of my family hates me. Probably the only family member who doesn't hate me is my mom. All of the other i thought cares but in reality they do not give a sh*t if i live or die. All of the best friends i even had wanted to kill me , beat me up or ended up being soo obsessed with me that i had to let them go. I hate myself. Every time i look in the mirror i want to barf. I'm a lesbian which means i will be alone until the day i can finaly move out cause theres NO F*CKING lesbians in my country. I'm a very forgettable person. I'm 16 and i haven't lived a day in my life.
A few days me and my friend had a " **** our lifes " conversation and we asked each other " Why r we alive ? ".
The ONLY reason i'm still here is that i still have hope that someday it will all get better. Knowing i still have a few years in this hell is pretty depressing to think about. The thing that gets be throw the day is sarcasm and not thinking about ALL of the bad things. I try to think about the future and what im gonna achieve in life.
Life sucks. IT REALLY F*CKING DOES. But if i got throw my dad saying i should of never been born or my best friend trying to kill me or my cousin making me feel so bad that i almost committed suicide or that i had my heart broken a million times or that all of the friends i thought i had never have a ****. I can get throw not anything but i can definitely take all the bullsh*t life will continue to throw at me.
Okey this was pretty depressing so i'm gonna go. Peace.
thequeenofpain 16-17, F 5 Responses 0 Jun 19, 2012