I've always suffered with some sort of melancholy. The worst time was when I went to college and became very homesick. I stuck out school and became an alcoholic and got pregnant. I had an abortion and suffered depression so bad that I ended up being hospitalized. I was placed on medication and have been on medication for at least twenty years. I've gone though a painful divorce and wonder if it was my fault because of my depression. I have two lovely children and pray that they will not suffer as I have. I have also remarried and my husband is a gem.........a true gem. I have just returned back to my job as a high school teacher in the inner city. I am very depressed and am looking forward to hearing from others. I try to keep very busy and postponed my working on a doctorate because I felt too overwhelmed. I don't know why I have to be super busy to keep from getting depressed. I am involved with my church but find that dry and boring sometimes. Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself but I must need to do this because I am crying as I type and those are obvious feelings that are inside of me that need to be expressed. Again I am looking forward to some feedback. Thankyou!