I've Always Had Depression

I'm actually ok at the moment, probably the most well I've ever been. I've had depression as far back as I remember though.

What I don't understand is why no one ever noticed it when I was a child. I used to isolate myself from other children at school, I'd walk up and down the playground singing to myself. I used to go and hide at parties. And for as long as I can remember I cried myself to sleep every night (until I started using anti depressants anyway). How did no one notice?

BlueberryMunchkin BlueberryMunchkin
31-35, F
6 Responses Aug 9, 2009

Not really lol .. what would you suggest I hope for?

You may be right I guess. Mind you, if you don't know what depression is you don't really need to hide it from yourself. I do remember knowing that I had different masks for different situations. I remember wondering what I'd do if those different situations came together, coz I wouldn't know which person to pretend to be.

Maybe you hid it from yourself at the time and hid from the rest of the world ? xx

I had a complicated upbringing; social services were in the background the whole time, so if my parents had concerns all they had to do was ask for help. And they didn't. And I didn't know it wasn't normal to feel the way I did.<br />
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I had a teacher I talked to a lot, but for some reason he didn't do anything about the fact I was depressed. I told him that my step brother was beating the crap out of me, and he basically told me that as long as there was nothing sexual going on, not to worry about it.<br />
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I'm sorry. I shouldn't keep complaining about it. Thanks for your responses guys :)

I don't know why they would sit there Blue, I was asking the same questions in high school when i finally snapped. Two of the 3 teachers I saw everyday all week multiple times did nothing to help me, while the third almost punished me for it.

Why would parents who noticed their children were depressed, chose not to get involved? And teachers!!!!