When I Was Little I Wasn't...

When I was little I wasn't very complex (I suppose it goes that way with every being).  I remember only being a certain person.  I was intelligent, helpful, hopefull, cute, bright, and just a wonderful person.  As I grew older, everything changed.  I remember my first betrayl from my best friend to the first time I ever got cheated on.  I hate to say this but the more negative experiences you have in your life, the more barriers you put up to stop people from hurting you.  And that is where complexes grow.  I would have to say that from what I remember my parents put the first ones there.  As I deviated from relationships with them, it was my friends who I put in place of my family, that incurred the next ones.  And finally I replaced all of that with my trust in men who I gave my love to who did the finishing blows.  I am so complex now that I can't even understand myself.  I know that it's only natural to grow in complexity with age but I don't believe that a person grows so much that they have a difficult time with their own self.  And it's so unconcious that a person doesn't even realize that these things are happening until they have no idea who they are or what they want anymore.  That's why I have made it my life's quest to understand myself and others so that I can understand life.
theophania theophania
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 23, 2007

I agree with you too.

i totally agree with you theophania.