Ustbedwetting And Being Married With A Child

Hello.
I do not feel comfortable disucssing my condition with anyone, but i felt i could not handle the sneakeness anymore that was making me feel alone. I have wet the bed since my senior yr of highschool. Not every night not monthly , it just comes and goes but seems to be triggered by certain things. In high school i wore a diaper at times with the help and understang from my mother. She made me feel ok about it and would never tell a soul. After i graduated went to college for a year and just had a few epsiodes, but never wore protection in a dorm room with my best friend too embarassing. I thought i would never wet the bed again but began to abuse alcohol. and at one poing durgs. After using drugs i slept for longer hrs at a time and would almost pee the bed. I had to but diapers in decreet way away from my home cause was afraid of seeing someone and having them think i have a diaper fetish or something. I would get so nervous when i would buy them i prob looked like friek who people procieve as a adult baby want a be. I started dating a girl who knew me before and my thought was i better let her know i wet the bed sometimes in case she woke up in being wet, embarassed and prob think im a wierdo and not want to continue the relationship. So i came out and said the second night that I wet the bed at times and to not have to wash me sheets every night i am in a protection adult diaper when im in bed. She did not say anything and was making me feel ok about it. it became a matter of us making jokes about it and it was like our little secret, But i became close with her family and stayed there alot. Her mother to my supprise came to me with the supplies that i was using and told me she would help out any way needed and made me feel like they were just underware. But after a year and a half she went to college and we not able to make it work. I needed the protection after that for about 2 months after that/drinking accidents mostly! but I seemed to not have a bed wet problem for a good while. Then i met my wife of now and she is 5 yrs older. I knew i should have told her but I really did like her and thought she being older and mature she would not accept me for the fact that i might have the bedwetting occur again and need adult products. I joked with her in the past about wearing a diaper when i was heavly drinking and she was discusted and thought it was odd talking about putting on something a "baby or older person wears". Well to get to the bulk of the story and problem i went thur a durg period of months straight using a very bad and dangerous drug. I did not think I would ever wet the bed while I was using. But after a month intto the drug use I began to sweat very bad and would wake up just soaked like i just took a shower. Well part of that was urine. Thought it was a fluke but it began again and was peeing my self at least 1 to 2 times a week. So I simply and decretly bought and hid adult diapers so my wife would not find wet spots on the bed or couch.. Well 2 weeks ago I quit using drugs went to the doctor and got on anti depresent meds. I never felt better after a week until one night i awoke to my catching myself dreaming waking up and realized i was peeing in bed. I jumped out of bed just in time and was thinking maybe a one time deal. Not the case i wet the bed 8 nights in a row. So the other day i sent a email to my wife explsng all of my story just like this and to my ammasement she understood. But I was nervous talking about products and if she would buy them for me. She did not understand why i get nervous buying them. I live in a town of about 60,000 pop and have a small business with my company logo on the truck. Just about everyone in town has seen my truck abound a time or two. So i told her that i prob needed a max prot diaper cause some will leak as expericned in the past. Which does not sound normal when talking about what diaper i need at night. I had a feeling she might not feel as ok as she seemed. So the next day i told her that i would need *** just to tape them cause its hard for me to do when I weigh 250lbs. She said it would be wierd seening me in a diaper. So i told her I dont feel good wearing aboud her and our daughter. Long 2 days later we are really stressed out and i have a hard time knowing i need to tell a doctor that i pee in bed and my wife buys me diapers. I am very self worry and i simply get anxiety alot since i told her. I know i need adult protetion at night i just wish i felt more comfortable about it. What shoud I do from here on out so I dont feel like a baby or a nussance to my wife. I do not want to wear another diaper again. but will prob have to for a while until i figure out why i am wetting the bed again. Please any advise is good advise.
nebby50 nebby50
31-35, M
May 15, 2012