Post Traumatic Stress Survivor

Hello to all, I have been a member for a short while now, although i have not been an active member but ive kept in check.

Today i mentioned to a friend that i had been thinking about reaching out to others that are suffers of Post Traumatic Stress.

So here i am, for the past 7yrs i have been living with this condition, brought on by a moltitude of mental , physical and emotional abuses, throughout my lifetime.

At first i thought ide had a type of stroke, my mind went into saftey zone, which on the outside appeared i had shut down, i was very aware of everything around me and could hear as well, i could not respond with out a huge exhausting and emotional effort,  in the first stages of the years of pst trm strs, i would have part paralyisis of one side of my body, dribbling and continues silent tears streaming down my face, then i progressed to just share fear taking over my being, i would just shut down, going deep within myself, to a saftey zone, in fact becoming even more vunerable because of the inability to be able to respond, oh boy my biggest fair was being locked up or medicated, all i needed was to be left alone to become safe again within my enviroment, hence this panic would come on very quickly and without descrimination of where or when.
I stopped socailising and became unemployable.
ALONE AND ISOLATED CONSUMED WITH CONFUSION AND FEAR UNLOVED AND UNWANTED BY ALL I NEW
Time and time again i would keep reaching out, just wanting to be included in the lifes of the life i new.
Thankfully i worked through that faze, and left them and a terrible life behind to venture into a new life in a new area, i am now begining to socailise and ive started some low level volenteer work and am begining in some training,i intend  working in the feilds of assisting others with difficulties in life, ie impared people and or older folk.
This is a touch of my surviving post trauma stress, are you out there and have needed to be amongst the same minded people, then lets share.
 
coolflame coolflame
41-45
Aug 1, 2010