My Heart Was Just CrushedFor about the past year and a half, I cared for my wife at home, as cancer grew throughout her body. Early in the morning on April 4, 2011, she was "air-lifted" to a hospital about 50 miles away. As I watched the helicopter slowly rise from the field just east of my house, I knew that my time with her had now come to an end. For the next three nights I sat next to her hospital bed trying to comfort her as best as I possibly could.
On April 7, 2011 my heart was crushed, as her spirit departed her earthly shell.
We are both born again believers in Messiah Yahshua (Jesus), and I am positive that she is in a beautiful place now, with no more of the horrific suffering that she had been enduring previously. However, I miss her desperately, and (although everyone continuously assures me that "I must continue," and "things will get better," and blah, blah, blah . . . ) they don't understand that I feel like I have nothing left that matters to me.
I know that everyone means well, but life as I have known it for the past thirty years is now over, and I am lost. This is (BY FAR), the very darkest hours of my life, and I am a defeated man. I feel that the remainder of my life will be spent in desperate longing, and wishful loneliness.
My apology if this is too depressing; but what do you expect from a person who cries, every time he opens his eyes?
God help me, please.
longing1 46-50 4 Responses 1 Apr 10, 2011