One Of The Worst Times. Warning: Graphic

I've been beaten up by my adoptive brothers: Tyler and Brian, and their friends more times than countable. One of worst times was when they cornered me walking home from school, and thought they'd (like usual) use me for their amusement. I was stupid. I should've just said what they wanted me too....after all, it was only words they wanted: they've wanted much worse in past times. I couldn't bring myself what they wanted me to say, though. As usual, they were mocking my perceived sexual orientation..tearing at my clothing, calling me "Russian w**** and "Valentina" : nothing new. Then my adoptive brother wanted me to say something I could not bring myself to say. He wanted of me (and I can think of no delicate way of putting this) to claim that I found him attractive, and that I wanted, well, to perform oral intercourse on him... I despise him so much: his cruelty, the words stuck in my throat. So Tyler pulled a cheese grater out of his backpack, saying "Say it, or you'll be hump**g this grater. I was terrified, but still, though I tried, no words emerged. my mouth felt filled with glue. So Tyler's friend wrestles me to the ground, and Tyler pulls off any of my clothing that might soften the cutting and hurting. I start to cry, because I am so embarrassed and frightened and ashamed. Then they start pulling the cheese grater against my skin, and I'm screaming, hoping that someone will hear, and aid me... but no one comes to help. I felt so alone. I'm bleeding, and they're joking about menstrual cycles, and such. The harder I cry and scream, the more they laugh. Yet, soon they tire of the noise, and one of them takes his jock strap out of his backpack and stuffs it in my mouth. The tears fall faster, but there is little sound, and
Tyler says "Why are you crying, Valentine. I would think you would enjoy it, knowing where its been." and I start blushing and crying still, and still they laugh...but then they take it out of my mouth. They tell me its too good for me, that I'm only fit for eating s***. So Tyler's friend leaves for awhile, returns with some brown stuff in a safeway bag. It smells horrid. They say "you're gonna eat this stuff" and I panic, start thrashing in vain against their hold. They grab me tighter in most painful way (I'm still bleeding there) and smash the stuff against my mouth. I try so hard to keep my mouth closed, so they pinch my nose until I have no choice but to open my mouth in order to breathe. In the brown stuff goes. They hold my mouth shut, telling me to swallow. I can still hear their taunts in my ears: "swallow b**** swallow." over and over again. I can't bring myself to put in words what happened next. All I can say is, they were delighted by their success. They start walking away like they are done with me (I'm sobbing in a heap of the ground, trying to spit out the stinking residue) then they turn around, say "Valentin, you're not as pretty when you're crying, and also, your eyes don't match (my eyes are different colors) Why don't we fix them for you?" "After all, we owe you, after all we've done to you." Tyler's friend holds me down, another holds my eye open. Brian laughs, and says "now this might sting a little" he unzips, and my soul is screaming "no, no no!" My soul is shrieking in agony, battering against the walls of my skull. Brian relieves himself in my eye, and it stings like hell. They're all laughing hysterically. Brian says "There, before that, one of them had more yellow than the other. Now you're even prettier than before. Aren't you going to thank me?" I'm thinking, please, let me die now, before I can be hurt further.. please god, end the pain... I don't care how. The words stick in my throat again. Why can't I say these merely-words? Finally (just in survival mode) I get the words they want out of my mouth. They turn again like they are going to leave, and once more, return. The final part of the attack: Brian's friend pulls me up till I am standing, then hits the back of my legs, so that I fall on my knees. They pin me down to the ground, and start kicking me repeatedly between the legs and in the ribs and in the abdomen. I am still screaming, and now I scream louder. Finally, they leave me. I pull back on my clothing the best that I can, and with all of the strength I can muster, I crawl on my hands and knees back to school, coughing up blood, writhing in agony. The janitor finds me there, takes me to hospital, where I am treated for broken ribs, pelvic-bone fracture, tailbone fracture, punctured bladder, and genital trauma.
ValentinK ValentinK
18-21, M
10 Responses Jul 19, 2010

If your brothers ever see these comments let them know that they are horrible people and they don't deserve to know you.

I... Just don't know. I have been beaten up but never that bad

Tell the cops!!!

I couldn't finish reading this. Too horrible. And I thought my dad was cruel to me when I was younger... I'm so sorry.

Valentin I must say, I was crying while reading your story. This makes me sick, that people can do this. You are so much better than them and know that one day you will never have to put up with disgusting people like this. <br />
You are so strong, keep fighting <3 <br />
Do not change yourself for ANYONE in this world.<br />
I know you must feel so alone but please please know that I will be thinking of you and praying for you.<br />
E-mail me if you ever want to talk hun, <br />
Good luck <3

Call child protection. You will be taken away from that family and put into a non abusive family (hopefully). Good luck!

To DelphiMaria: Thank you so much for kind words. I am not in UK, yet I do hope to press charges eventually: It is tricky to do so currently, as I am still live with my adoptive family. It helps writing experience down, somehow. At time of writing, was difficult: I had to stop several times before finishing, as concentrating on such memories caused feelings of physical illness. Yet, after this: the feeling as if portion of memory has been drawn out from my mind, caged outside myself: I can see through cage bars, hear its snarls, but it cannot bite me as much as once it did.As for my adoptive brothers, it is strange how cruel they can be. For great time, I wondered how they themselves could bear exist within themselves due to knowledge of their own cruelty... but now I do not think they see themsleves being sick, evil. Instead, they see me as non-human, as people of old saw ghosts or demons or witches.The worse they treat me, then less likely they are to see me as the human being: for if they did: they would have to take that unbearable glance at such monstrousness within their own natures.<br />
<br />
To Doctorwho29: Thank you so much for support, willingness to listen: it means much to me. I wish more people were open-hearted as you: world would be far the better place for it.

This makes me so unbelievably angry. ******* sickening. If you are in the UK hunny you can probably still press charges and i would urge you too, if not then i dunno. Its so strange to think people as sick and evil as those boys exist.<br />
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I hope you can recover emotionally hunny. x you didnt deserve it.

Orphan96- thank you., it means much to me that you pray for me, much to me that you speak out. As cruel as my adoptive brothers and their friends are, I believe they do not form even close to humanity's total character. I think people must be sick to act like they do....they must be in pain themselves, somehow, and take their pain out on me. That is merely my theory. And most people do not act like them, most people do not commit monstrosities against others. That, of all things, gives me hope, peace...that, if I survive this, there may be a light at tunnel's end. It is my belief that those who would defend me (teachers, less cruel students, etc.) do not do so, because they do not want to believe that what is happening, is happening... that humans can act towards one another the way my adoptive brothers do towards me. So they place blame on my shoulders: "If you weren't such a doormat, if you would only change your mannerisms to be less effeminate, if you played sports instead of painting all the time, if you just acted normal...." it is easier for them, less painful, than to admit that people they have known and loved since childhood can and do act so cruelly. To see the most ugly aspects of humanity, but not lose faith in human potential for goodness is no easy task. Yet, it is necessary to make this world better. Both total faith in humanity, and total despising of it breed inaction....abandonment of those that need aid, as both are self-deceptions that require constant work to maintain, being made merely of clouded air.

ValentinK... I don't know what to say; I'm sorry? I'm sorry humanity is so fallen. I'm really sorry this happened to you, and I just don't know what to say. Please... I hope you've been able to find some peace. If it means anything to you; I pray for you.