Have Been Let Down A Lot....Cast aside, used, lied to....you name it.
I sometimes can't get over how my life has changed socially. I had a firm group of close friends who I used to see every weekend and in the week. In the space of a few months, all that disappeared.
The first two friends of mine are husband and wife. I was friends with the wife for 13 years but she lied to me a lot, disrespected me and I felt like she didn't really value my friendship. What also annoyed me was that things always had to be her way and she went all silent on me if she didn't get her way. I also felt there were double standards in our friendship as she was forever cancelling nights out but the other month (one of the rare times I have ever done it) she ignored my text and we haven't spoken since...and I don't care. She is about to give birth but again I have no feelings towards that. I don't consider her a friend anymore, she has caused too much pain. It's a shame as I was also friends with her husband but because of the fact I no longer speak to her, I don't get to be friends with him either.
My other close friend got arrested for crimes against kids so no explanation needed there for why I no longer speak to him.
Slightly after Christmas last year, I bumped into an old school friend and we were going to meet. She had let me down socially in the past but thought that now we were older things would change. They didn't and she bailed out on me again.
I am starting to think I will never make a true and genuine friend who won't hurt me. I feel so damaged by it all and it really hurts. Not only that but I have questioned myself a lot and that has been hard. I like to think I am a good person but all the above makes me think that maybe I am not.