I Have Been Betrayed By Friends

Here

By: accomplice

Written on July 25th, 2011

I don't have all the details, but this is what I gather...

I revealed my real identity to a friend here on EP. I had chatted with her several times, and we shared a bit about our lives with one another. We were empathetic to one another's situations, and found we had a fair bit in common.

While I was away on vacation recently, we traded a few short emails. Evidently, in one of those emails, I must've said something that upset her. Rather than tell me about it, she contacted my wife. I don't know exactly what she told my wife, but from what little my wife would say, she made claims that I have cheated on her. Also, this "friend" of mine supposedly sent links to EP stories that I had written about my wife.

I don't know any word that describes it better than "betrayal."

By: accomplice

Age: 41-45 , Male

390 people have read this story

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16 responses

flowerswinging

I would like to suggest that you do find out exactly who she is and tell the rest of us please. I am new and certainly do not wish to be "friended" with someone as harmful as she has proven to be to yourself. How is a person supposed to figure out if someone will ultimately act as she has?

Feb 9, 2012
1 like
mtvlm

Wouldn't call that a friend... Even if I was hurt and mad as hell about something which would have to be a lot, the fact that others have trusted me with their info is a trust I don't take lightly...

Just cause someone spreads it about me doesn't mean that it is right to spread it about them.

The fact that she contacted things past you and went over or around you is totally out of bounds.

Hope that you can get some control back from this bomb that has landed in your lap.

Aug 11, 2011
1 like
- accomplice
  Thanks, mtvlm. There's no control to get back.
  This person's behaviors speak far more about their character and integrity than anything I've written here. I think if this person had a conscience, they would be torn up inside. Then again, if they had a conscience, they wouldn't have done such a thing.
  
  Aug 17, 2011
  1 like
lisa36

Accomplice, I am so sorry to hear about this happening. What a cruel and awful mistreatment of your trust.

Aug 11, 2011
1 like
- accomplice
  Thanks, lisa36. The strange thing is that while it didn't have a great effect on my marriage, it did have an effect in that I no longer feel comfortable writing stories.
  
  Aug 17, 2011
  1 like
Mahal1023

I know this may not sound like any consolation to you....but I truly believe in Karma. Your immature, vindictive friend will gets hers in the end. As for your wife, she has every right to be upset that a complete stranger comes barging into your private life. She shouldn't be angry with you as there is no way you could have known that a person that you trusted would betray you like that. She should trust that you wouldn't bring harm to her and your kids. Another HUGE red flag warning you how seriously in trouble your marriage is. I guess I've been very lucky. I would say I have entrusted almost half of my circle with my real name, where I live, details about my personal life, and my phone number. I've been very lucky where everyone has been extremely supportive, loving and even protective of me. I hope from here on that you will have the same. :)

Aug 10, 2011
3 likes
- accomplice
  I don't believe in Karma, but I do believe that people are in some way constant -- that they ultimately reveal their true selves and get recognized as such.
  I am not ashamed of what I have written here. I have made mistakes in my life, but hopefully I learn from them. That is part of being human and growing.
  I do truly believe that my "friend's" actions speak volumes about her character. All they say about mine is that I may be a poor judge of character, overly inclined to trust.
  
  Aug 11, 2011
  1 like
dragonsteel

Wow! that was horrible of that person, I would never do that to my EP friends even if they did anger me.

Aug 4, 2011
2 likes
RSCL

How horrible that someone with whom you have shared your thoughts and feelings would behave in such a callous, cruel, selfish and childish manner. To not only have betrayed a trust, but also to have exposed to your wife this site which, in many ways, was your sanctum sanctorum for your friendships, thoughts, ideas and feelings when you have been denied that safety and comfort in your home is unforgivably vicious. To invade someone's marriage in such a cruel way is appalling. I feel not only for you, but also for your wife; for her to have been approached by a stranger with such "news" and offered such data/innuendo- how unthinkably unpleasant for everyone involved.

I do not know if this is applicable, but if this is how this woman behaves with her "friends", perhaps there is a reason she must be feeling isolated and excluded in her own life. Maybe she could learn something by seeing the destructive results of her behavior and understand why she must be so lonely herself.

Accomplice, I hope that things sort out in your personal life without further pot stirring by disturbed individuals. You seem to have your hands full enough with just your home situation, without interference from malicious, faceless, cowardly individuals.

Jul 25, 2011
2 likes
- accomplice
  Yes, MissKR. My wife was far more offended that someone had invaded her privacy -- that someone she didn't know contacted her like this -- than by any of the unsubstantiated allegations that were presumably in the email (I do not know the details of it).
  Yes, my hands are full. But it goes to show -- it's always something.
  I think the action says far more about this individual than it does about anyone else. My wife's greatest upset was that I would allow an individual like this into my (our, her) life.
  
  Jul 26, 2011
  1 like
snowbunny1002

WOW! That is really unbelievably cruel. I think if the friendship meant anything to her she should of come to you in the first place to try and talk through it. To get your wife involved, who I am assuming knew nothing of your existence here or your stories is just cruel and hurtful.

I say good riddance to the friend. There are people you can trust here and I have been betrayed by someone here on EP as well for very different reasons, however someone that calls themselves your friend and does that to you and your family never really was.

Jul 25, 2011
2 likes
- accomplice
  My wife did know of my existence here, she just didn't know where "here" was!
  Yes, as angry as she might have been with me, and as much as she might've felt that I had done something wrong, there is no excuse for taking action which might damage innocent children.
  
  Jul 26, 2011
  1 like
mstub

That is a terrible thing!! It takes so much for any of us to trust to begin with and then have someone betray that trust is crap. I can't believe that people feel they need to be so mean and petty. Good for you for taking the higher ground and not doing the same by exposing her - way to be the better person.

Jul 25, 2011
1 like
- accomplice
  Exposing? My wife knows that I have online friends that I met through a community for mutual support. She agreed not to try to figure out where it was, to provide me with a place I could go.
  As for exposing her, if it is who I'm pretty sure it is, she didn't reveal her identity to me. I could figure it out if I put some effort into it, but to what end?
  
  Jul 26, 2011
  1 like
BrutMystik

Yeah. How did she get a hold of your wife?

That is really ******!!! I have heard of this sort of thing happening that is why I am so non specific...

Jul 25, 2011
1 like
- accomplice
  If it is who I think it was, she had asked to see photos of my vacation. I sent her a link to my FB photo album. To find my wife from FB is trivial.
  
  Jul 26, 2011
  1 like

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