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My Two Best Friends Became Best Friends (and Phased Me Out)


I had two best friends throughout high school and college. One I would spend every day with, she had a lot of family issues (mainly around her dad) and although everyone liked her and she was popular I was her only real friend. I was the only person who would be invited to her house and we would do everything together. When we went to college I had just broken up with my boyfriend of three years and he went there to, I felt like everyone was on his side (silly now but at the time that is how I felt), she used to stay with me all day and we would go out in her car whenever we had free periods. She worked constantly at a pub and worked very unsociable hours after college 6 or 7 days a week, something she had done since she was 13 I had always included her in everything even when she didn't make an effort with any of my other friends. My other best friend was someone I hung around with more outside of school, she was a smoker and as stupid as it sound this meant we didn't see each other much during the day. She really came into her own when I broke up with my boyfriend and practically moved into my house for two years. She was working at this point and would come straight after work and stay 4 or 5 days at a time. I had a crazy year and a lot of fun with both girls, although my college friend left me after our first year of college to work full time at the pub. In my second year of college I worked hard to bring my grades up for Uni. I remained close with both girls but the cook was still my closet friend we were inseparable. The Summer before I began University we went on a holiday to a Greek island, me, my two best friends and 3 other girls. Whilst there I meet my now boyfriend, my friends were horrible about it, they went off together (although they had showed no sign of friendship before), they spent all my money, as we had had it in a pool and they said my new boyfriend could pay for it. I took the supposed 'jokes' and thought I was a bit out of order going off with him. When I came back it continued and I spoke to the cook and said it wasn't on, wasn't funny and had to stop. She apologised and said she had only acted that way because she wanted to spend time with me before I went away. I forgave her. We went on holiday together with my parents for 2 weeks before I began University and acted like normal. I spoke frequently to both girls once I had moved away and a trip was arranged a month in. The cook didn't turn up claiming she had to work, the other girl came and It was great to see her.  had got very homesick and missed my friends terribly as I had spent every day with them. I went home mid-term and they were all over each other, trying to make me feel left out, I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't think this was going to happen and had no idea why they were not happy to see me. I spoke to the cook and she said what was she supposed to do I'd left her she needed a new friend, but she did cry a lot about it. At Christmas things just became more awkward, and when I came back in February for another girl’s birthday I was determined to sort it out. I realised my other friend didn’t like the cook talking to me and instead of speaking about it I chose to cut her off (Not the right decision but I was so hurt), we went on a night out and the cook was supposed to be staying at my house. I couldn't find her anywhere I looked all over the club, waited until closing in the end I had to go home alone. The next morning she text to say she couldn't remember anything and she had slept at the other girls house. I had only come home for two nights, I was devastated. I told her she had to come round and sort this out, she came and did not speak for 2 hours then left, but agreed to visit me. The week before she was supposed to visit she said she had a college week that could not be called off. I was angry but said nothing. A few days later she rang me 30 times in a night to say she’d lost her job (I didn't know this at the time) but it was late and I was asleep I went to return her call, but before was told by another friend she had gone on holiday. The week of the supposed training she was in Portugal with a boy she had worked with for 6 years and not mentioned the trip to anyone. I cut all ties. I hadn't spoken to either girl for 8 months, until I went home at Christmas this year, I got in touch with the other friend and apologised for cutting her off, explaining I was upset (I felt guilt about that as she had only not wanted the cook to talk to me as she was scared I would take her off her). We cleared the air and I felt much better when I saw her in town a few weeks later. She was with the cook who I said hello to and nothing else. I'm still upset about it. I have lots of other friends, but I still feel hurt the cook just cut me out her life and replaced me so quickly and easily with someone else, my other best friend even! I felt I didn't want to home for a long time but I am starting to face it now. They literally do everything that we did which was hard to begin with but I am accepting (I should it's been over a year), I want to forgive her talk it out and put it to bed, like with the other girl, I've been offered a job in London (I'm from the north east) so it is unlikely I will see her much again anyway. But I just can't seem to forgive. Do I need to say anything? Or should I just give myself more time to heal?

Sorry for the essay I have not spoken to anyone about this

hello2109 hello2109 18-21 Feb 28, 2012

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