I was adopted at birth and the woman who adopted me raised me since birth so that is my mom or so I thought..Throughout my entire life things were a struggle..I began cutting myself in 7th grade and using alcohol I realize that it wasn't smart but I didn't know where to turn seeing your best friend dead at 12 yrs old is hard to understand and whenever I cut myself or drank my mom would take my phone away or say that I'll never amount to anything and she knew my life would go no where,I couldn't talked to her about it cause if I tried she would say it's ok to stop being a drama queen, I had many things happen to me and through all of it what hurt the most was her saying i wish I never adopted you..and I hate you. She has made up story's about me that when I hear them I have no idea what ppl are talking about. We have been in one physical fight, I did not start it. She threatened to leave my dad she's been with for 27 yrs because she doesn't like him telling her not to talk to me the way she does...especially when all I'm doing is sitting down after work and all she does is rant without me even talking to her. People always say awe you should forgive her she's just going through a lot. ???!?! What lol....my boyfriend died, I was in a horrible car accident and in that time she didn't even bother to call and ask how I was ,while she's sitting there staying at home doing whatever she likes,ya she has it soooo bad I'm sure. I'll forgive my mom for my peace but other than that she can go get beaten the **** out of in an alley somewhere.
ChandlerTitus1 ChandlerTitus1
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

I was adopted too. My mother and I were never very close. In fact, she hardly ever spoke to me the entire time I was growing up...unless she wanted me to do something FOR her! She made me do all of the housework, laundry, and cooking. Then, when my father got home from work, SHE would take all of the credit for everything that I did!! I couldn't wait to get out of that house!! When I finally got out on my own, got married and had children, I discovered that I had NO parenting skills. Oh sure, I could take care of babies...but when they got to be teenagers, it was really difficult. I blame my mother for my failure in this area. I never had a 'mother figure' to look up to. I know that I am not perfect...not by a LONG shot. I have made MANY mistakes throughout my life. All in all...I have learned from them. (Some people never do!) Still tho'...I have lost the best part of my children's lives because I failed to be the mother that THEY wanted me to be, and NEEDED me to be. I worked...a LOT! I had to...their father was a worthless turd!! Still tho'..they continue to blame me for all of the terrible things in their lives. I recently made the decision, to stop trying so hard, to be in their lives. I have always been the ONLY one who ever made an effort to try to maintain a relationship with them. I wonder how long it will take them before they figure out that I am not coming around anymore. Not calling anymore, not making the effort anymore. ???? I was told one time, that they would be much better off WITHOUT me in their lives. As much as it hurts me..to not continue a relationship with them, and to see my grandchildren grow up....I realize that maybe...just maybe, they are right. I have been lied to, cussed out, and pretty much made to feel completely worthless. Who needs that? I have also recently discovered, that there is NO ONE in this entire universe that I can trust anymore. I'm not sure what to do about any of it. I would rather be alone and die alone. No one would miss me anyways. I feel your pain. Please know that you are not alone in the way you are feeling.