Mixed Emotions...

OK, so really...part of this makes me hot...part of it makes me mad. But really end of the day...am I so different than her?

Going back 3 years now, my wife has been having a "secret" online only emotional affair with a BF from 20 years ago. I say "secret" in quotes because I found out about it 1.5 years ago and confronted her about it...this secret led to a GF of her's who I found out was really having sex with my wife (she is bi for the right person)...which led to 3-som's and 4-som's with the GF and her husband all all...picture wife swapping!

That was all find and good until things went bad of course...feelings hurt, bad break up, etc. Meanwhile the old BF went away (got quiet...he had introduced the GF to my wife) and came back into our lives only recently. But let's step back to Nov 2011, the last time (until this week) my wife and I had sex. Lots of trust issues (she accusing me of spying and watching everything she does), and me from a standpoint of just pissed about everything...but of course, would still welcome sex.

I know she still texts him...we can both see the phone bill for goodness sakes...and she knows I know. This last week however, she and I got new iPhones (we have had in the past as well), and I noticed she had sent 6 pix at 1am to him. I already know they would be dirty...they had been in the past...and they had watched **** together and swapped pix in the past as well. I haven't brought up this particular incident, as it would be denied of course and she would just tell me "it was innocent". I'm not stupid though, I know what is going on...and actually right now, glad I didn't say anything, because it got her hot enough to start having sex again....which we have done 5 days straight after a 9 month absence.

So why does the iPhone thing matter you ask? Well...Photostream. Even with it turned off on the phones, it still records data...so I logged in to her iCloud account and it grabbed the photos...one face shot in a bra, and 5 photos of her freshly shaved *****, including one with her playing with herself...she has no idea I have these.

Now for those of you reading this who have had private chat with me...you have seen me, and me playing with myself...so no, I'm no different...I'm not going to pretend I am. For that fact, I would never bring this up with my wife...if it gets her off, and gets her hot to have sex and gets the juices flowing for her...then who am I to judge? I guess it bugs me a little though because I know she still has "loving" feelings for the guy...it isn't a perfect stranger we are dealing with, ya know?

The other part of me says...WTF??? Why not send me those pictures too??? It doesn't have to be same time....just at least share!!

I know this post is sort of brief and I skip over a lot of details...but best I could do given 3 years of history here...I guess I just feel better talking about it out loud! A little bit of therapy never hurt anyone.

Thanks all, thoughts?...
WackaWackaDooo WackaWackaDooo
36-40, M
Sep 23, 2012