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Dilemmas of a Desperate Wife

.....and deceived and lied to for 5 and a half years of an 8 year marriage. 6 mths ago I discovered that my husband has been a Walter Mitty character, his cousin no less.  He has cleared me out financially (created an on-line account from my own account and syphoned my cash out), used our house money (we sold our house at the top of the market, in London in a V well to do suburb), used the  kids's cash (which I had set up for them) and also a school fees account. Basically he never earned a salary for nearly 6 years. How did he do this? My mum died 5 years ago, V young and unexpected and I handed all finances over to him as I couldn't cope, I also was preg with our second child.I am now left, having discovered his lies with no money,and the fact he has HUGE debts, bank loans etc and I have had to move back with my lovely Dad who is bank rolling us (me and my 2 children aged 6 & 4) whilst my husband lives with his parents in a V nice house in Chelsea, London and is paying nothing, neither are his parents. I want out.He is still lying.loves his children and I am NOT stopping him from seeing them but the lies he has thrown my way are seriously special. He was a day trader,a gambler and is seriously in denial. Is blaming me ........I had no idea. The financial loss is HUGE some £1 million that he owes me but it is not the cash...........it is the moral side of everything.  THERE IS NOT TRUST. You can not have a relationship without trust. My background is in psychotherapy so I know the scoop.  Just trusted someone when I was V vulnerable and it has smacked me in the face and now where do I go?  I am such a half full person and have fabulous friends and an amazing family but I still feel so alone.

desperatewife desperatewife 36-40 3 Responses Jan 23, 2009

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I'm surprised and a little up-lifted; surprised because being a therapist one would expect you to read people really well. Up-lifted because I felt like the biggest fool when after 25 years of belonging to one man, I discovered he'd been cheating on me the whole time, with not only friends of mine, but with family members as well. He even had men. I feel like I was in a bubble all those years.<br />
<br />
Thank You for sharing your story!<br />
Sincerely Broken&Betrayed

I'm surprised and a little up-lifted; surprised because being a therapist one would expect you to read people really well. Up-lifted because I felt like the biggest fool when after 25 years of belonging to one man, I discovered he'd been cheating on me the whole time, with not only friends of mine, but with family members as well. He even had men. I feel like I was in a bubble all those years.<br />
<br />
Thank You for sharing your story!<br />
Sincerely Broken&Betrayed

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