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If You Think

if you think i am offended, if you think i am hurting, i think you are wrong.

i had the lovely yet somewhat life altering privilege to be called everything in the book and more when i was younger. it was by someone i loved, someone i trusted and gave myself to. the wounds that this individual provoked cut deeper than any knife man has ever made. they stole the innocence out of my heart and made for a lifetime of reflection on what he said.

there are no words that come to me in that manner anymore, i have hardened myself to the slurs and obscenities. i can see his face now, contorting his mouth to shape the future of how i would portray myself when i grew up through the obnoxious, nauseating mixture of putrid and vile secretions.

you helped me with one thing, protection. for that i am thankful, but i still wish i had answers, still- 15 years later, i am still confused.

lostcancerian lostcancerian 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 12, 2008

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It is when we let people inside our hearts that they can hurt us the most.<br />
Even after the words are forgotten, the memory of the pain remains.