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I Just Don't Know Anymore

Hey, I'm sort of new to the website. But I'm 19 years old and I have just been recently found out i have been cheated on. To make it worst it was my best friend. I still love them both dearly but i don't know what to do. They both say that they want me. They don't want each other. I find that hard to believe if they had sex. Of course their excuse was drinking to much. I find that to be no excuse. But I have been at a point where i have consumed to much and lost complete control. The only way I think that this could work if that was truely the case. But how am I to know what the truth is anymore. It took them 6 months to come clean. Thats after the fact i heard the rumor from my other best friend Kathy. Well I was just woundering if anyone had some useful advise for me. What should i do? Take them back. Trust them. I just don't know anymore. I just want out half the time. Am I just not good enough that that had to happen?...

bitch8675309 bitch8675309 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 16, 2010

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I am the same age as you and the exact thing has happened to me. My decision was to follow the question "what makes you happy?". People have hurt you and in turn you shouldn't have to suffer. If by carrying on as normal and forgiving (possibly the hardest thing), knowing that everyone tells the truth and lays everything on the table... You can get on with life and carry on. Or maybe you can see yourself happier with the memories of your boyfriend, but know that one day you'll meet a guy that won't do that mistake.. No mess. Nada. Whether it was his fault or not.. It happened. Which sucks. Or maybe this shows your best friend didn't know her boundaries. Whether it was drunken or not there must have been some attraction (I know it hurts. It made me feel sick too.). In my case, friendship should never be on the rocks. A good friend is like a sister, they know their limits. I stayed with my boyfriend knowing that I could be hurt again. But I've accepted he won't be my "forever". My friend however, friends are forever alongside your partner which one looks for I life. I have my reasons but she didn't get a second chance. Your choice to decide.

what scenario makes YOU happier. They didn't think of you. So don't think of them. You'll always be your own best friend. So take care of you.

Wrote that and realised this was 2 years ago

Great.

So what did you do in the end?

You need to give them both a healthy dose of the silent treatment for awhile, they need to know fully that what they did wasn't right and that there is consequences to the choices they make. It will also give you time away from them so that you can get some perspective and cool your jets for awhile.

This may be out of your comfort zone but have you thought of all three of you getting it on. Whether or not you would be sexual towards your best friend but at least everyone could think "yeah not a good idea" and everything may go back to normal. Or you keep your best friend and move on from the guy.<br />
Just talking out loud. Hope everything has been going well for you since you posted your story.

the perfect scenario would be to forget and forgive. but ur always gonna have that suspicion that they will hook up again, or maybe that they've already hooked up more than once. but things arent perfect. i was drinkin with my friends girlfriend one time and we wound up hooking up, except my friend walked in on us (was spyin on his gf). yep true story. we never touched each other again but my friend was always on his girlfriends case, accusing her of lying to him so she could meet up with me (my sister and her are friends too) they stayed together for like another year but he kept accusing her and getting ridiculous thoughts in his head. so she wound up breakin it off with him. he was talkin crap on the both of us and spreadin rumors about her. maybe we deserved it but long story short me and his girlfriend are still friends while this guy is almost completely out of our lives and our other friends' life. sux to be him. so u can be an angel and forgive them or break it off with one of em. you will have to choose who the better person is