Poor Choices 09

My freshman year of college I expected to experience things that I never could at home or in boarding school but none of my guessing as to what the future would hold could ever lead me to what really happened. My freshamn year relationship started a little after the first three weeks with a sophmore. To make matters more interesting instead of it being with a guy, I had my very first female/female relationship. It was strange and I spent the first two weeks denying my feelings until I finally gave in. She was funny, popular, sweet, thoughtful and ambitious. Well all that went down the drain after around month five when she told me that she didn't think that she was ready for a relationship. After about an hour she came apologizing saying that she "didn't know what she was thinking". This should have been a red flag. but no my friends, the plot thickens.

My ex gf is a writer and has published a book through a small company. At one of her readings at our school, she meets a girl that is so in love with her writing she emails my ex with her praises. Innocent enough yes? Things started to get concerning when my ex would constantly get emails from this girl and they started texting non stop about "friendly things only" I mean I really had "nothing to worry about" she loved me. Month seven I was spending the night in my ex's room when a strong feeling of women's intuition, you could say, hit me like a ton of bricks and while she was asleep, I checked her text messages. I felt bad about it because I'm not a sneaky person but something was pushing me to do it. And there it was. A text from this fan girl telling my ex "It was really great. I'm glad you could be my first". I read on and the texts became more and more flirty. I even read that my ex was going to see the firl again that night but I stopped that plan by coming over. I was so distraught. I sat in the bed next to the person that I loved that cheated on me all night. I hardly slept. All I could do was look at her, shake from bad nerves, and try not to vomit. The next morning I asked if she had ever cheated on me and this is where things got even more interesting. She admitted to cheating not once, not twice, but THREE times with three different girls. I was beyond belief. But strangely enough, I was really calm I didn't yell or cry I just kind of absorbed it. Then she had the nerve to tell me that she needed some time to figure out what she wanted to do about this and our relationship...Um, seriously? She later came crawling back begging forgiveness and like a fool I took her back. Needless to say that relationship only lasted another month. They were still flirting and meeting in secret. My ex told me that she didnt want a relationship anymore and we broke up a week after we decided that we would just take a break for the summer. (I really hate the idea of taking a break).She admitted that she cheated on me a fourth time while we were still together. She even told me that she wanted to date the girl she cheated on me with twice. After about a week she was asking for me back even though I told her that I had to think about it. A week later she told me that she only loved me as a friend and didn't want to be with me again. Ouch. Salt in the wounds woman! I was a mess. To top this bittersweet cake she called me a few weeks ago asking me to hook her up with another girl...really? About a few days ago she called with this hour long apology and said "wouldnt it be funny if we dated again?"... Um, No it wouldnt be funny it would be a Shakesperean tragedy of epic proportions. Needless to say I am done. One can only be cheated on so many times before they make an utter and complete fool of themselves.
timidbunnie timidbunnie
18-21, F
Jul 21, 2010