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Friends That Weren't My Friends.. Wife That's Wasn't My Wife But Wants To Be My Wife

So here is my story.. My wife and I have been married for 10 years and have a 4 year old child. The stress of having a child strained our relationship and my wife sought alternatives to fix the situation. My 2 best friends of 15 years knew about our stress and took it upon themselves to help my wife cope through the rough times in her life. One of them started emailing her and eventually convinced her to take time off during work hours to meet with him. The affair went from emotional to physical in no time and A-hole #1 started seeing her and texting her and calling her regularly. The A-hole #2 entered the picture after my wife had called him after an argument that we had. He was calm and collect and gather all the information and decided to create and emotional bond with my wife. In next few months he would call me on daily basis asking how things were going and would gather information and feelings from me and turn around and play with my wife's emotions. He came to my house and had sexual relations with my wife in my own home while I was at work. They both had no sense boundaries and respect.

We have been through counseling and I understand the reasons why she cheated but I can't get the image of friends having physical relations with my wife. I want this marriage to work but I don't know if I can get over the fact that my wife was with someone else. How do you get over such betrayal from people that were are so close to you?

np76 np76 31-35 3 Responses Nov 4, 2011

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Omg, i am so sorry. I have felt this betrayl myself (if you read my storey). No one understand the pain and hurt you feel except people who have been cheated on also....no one else understands or has a clue. The fact that she did it with your own friends is unspeakable. I am so sorry you have not only felt this betrayl from your wife but from your friends. People tell you to leave....but if she has stopped cheating and she is willing to spend the rest of her life making it up to you....you should try to keep it together. People do extremely stupid and selfish things....but you took vows...do your best to honor them.....even if you live in pain....maybe the hurt will fade away over time. My ex choose not to leave his girlfriend...he choose to leave his wife...so I had no choice in the matter, but you do. Try to make it work with her.....if it is too painful...then consider leaving....but atleast try. Don't give up. I just want you to know that I cryed (I am crying) when I read your storey.....please know someone out there hurts inside as much as you. You can talk to me anytime. xoxox<br />
Carol

That sucks. I would say leave too, but you have kids, and that's not easy. I just don't see how you could stay with her after that. But when you love someone, its never easy to leave.

Leave.