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My Boyfriend Of 3 Years Cheated And Then Dumped Me

My boyfriend and I had been together for 3 years and 2 months when things started to change. I thought he was "the one", the love of my life. We had been so happy together, we were talking about marriage and starting a family and I never thought it would all come crashing down. He got some new group of friends and I was trying to be supportive, letting him have time on his own with them. What a mistake that was. He started "seeing" a 21 year old girl who was part of this group. I was oblivious at first. Then one night after dinner he was on his phone and I saw a text from a girl whose name I didn't recognise. I asked him about it and he said she was just part of the group. I let it go but something just didn't feel right. Things between us were getting weird. A few days later we were having a nap and I couldn't sleep. He got a msg on his phone and I saw it. I don't remember what it said exactly but it was flirty and so I took his phone and went through it. I found all these flirty msg's between the two of them including one where he said he just came out of a 3 year relationship. I was devastated and I confronted him about it. He said it was nothing, that she was chasing him and that it would stop. That weekend he practically kicked me out of his house to have his friends over. I found out later he also saw her that night. The next day we were supposed to see each other but he called and said he was going to the beach with his friends. I had had enough, I lost it, screaming over the phone and telling him it was over. But I didn't really think it was, I just wanted him to stop neglecting me and choosing other people over me. I was a wreck that night. He called me the next day and came to see me and begged me to come back. It seemed like something had happened but I didn't know what it was. I agreed to take him back only to find out a few days later that he had taken her to a hotel room that night and slept with her. I found out the hotel room but he denied anything had happened. A few days later he told me the truth. It felt like he only told me because he wanted us to be over so I packed up my stuff and left. I wanted to kill myself. I felt the worst I have ever felt in my life. I was shaking and crying for so long and I just didn't understand how all this had happened. He left me alone for a while and then he started calling me wanting me back. After a week or two of talking I decided to give it another try. I still loved him and I believed that what we had had was too good to give up particularly if he had made a mistake as he says he did. Yesterday he broke up with me again. He says we both need time to get over what happened and in a few months time we can give it another try. Its all just an excuse. He doesn't want to deal with what happened or make amends. He just wants me to forget it happened and go on like it was before. I feel like I made this tremendous effort to try and get past things and deal with things and he just spit it back in my face. The worst part is I'm wondering if he is still seeing her and that's why he has done this. I keep picturing the two of them together and its tearing me apart. Now I have to decide whether to give him up for good or give him another chance when he feels like it. Its so unfair that something that was so good could just be killed off by selfish ego boosting cheating and lying to my face about it all. Why didn't he love me enough to be faithful?
slayee2000 slayee2000 22-25 1 Response Dec 8, 2011

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Wow I'm so sorry . He isn't a decent human being , he wasn't honest to you or her . He will always be like this I'm afraid . He is a coward and cold hearted for doing this x