A Soul That Has Suffered Again.

Wow. I'm going through those excuses with my son's dad due to his disrespectful decisions of cheating on me the whole time I was pregnant and then some afterwards.

Anywhos, my opinion on that, not being rude, I'm just a blunt forward person, but sounds to me like she doesn't give a crap about those kids and you need to get yourself a lawyer and give them the love you continue to show them. No parent, no matter the age, should leave their child or children with anyone else to run the streets and party. I'm sorry, but I have to stop myself now on this comment. I love every child including my own, and I tend to get VERY protective over a child whether it's mine or not, and end up telling everyone what I truly feel about scummy parents who ditch their kids. I'm sorry. Get a lawyer and go for custody. I should have just said that and nothing else. Good luck.

my wife kept an affair from me as well. and the hardest part was losing the "family" , that mainly consisted of my kids and I. It was my delusion that she was part of it. She was always looking for someone else, and probably still is. So I don't blame myself. Your concern...keeping order for the daughter who is with you, will require some legal help, since it sounds less than ideal for her to be with her mother. Get the help. I would not have had custody if I had not had legal representation. At this point you need to do all you can to keep hope , structure and love in yours and your children's lives...and BE STRONG and FOCUSED. DO NOT depend on your kids for emotional support, but instead be an example to them. and most of all,,.get help from a lawyer at any cost.

I am sorry to hear you are suffering this delemma and that you are married and have children makes it all the more difficult. I found out I was cheated on for the entirety of my 5 year relationship just this week. It is devastating and humiliating. Hard to know what to tell people. Now I see the many warning signs that I didn't listen to that all important inner voice. The man was simply not trustworthy.

I wonder where I'd be if I nipped it in the bud in the beginning and cut him off. Once I found out of his infidelity, His things were immediately packed and shipped to him. I want no contact. Your wife is not in your league. It's important to find someone on a similar spiritual plane as you are to share your life with.

I feel for you buddy. I found out Aug. 3, 2010 that my wife had been cheating on me. She has major emotional issues and used every excuse you mentioned and more. I was not there for her and he was, he told her how pretty she was, he used her, I worked too much, was too into doing things other than what she wanted, and on and on. After turning my life upside down and doing everything the way she wanted for 9 or 10 months I finally realized I am not to blame for her cheating, she is. It was her decision, responsible people deal with problems in a marriage. They do not run to another with no commitment or responsibilities to them for help, sex or anything else. The only thing that has kept me with my wife is our three children. But I am about to let go, I am going to lose my mind otherwise. And then I will be no good to my kids.



I don't know if this helps, but I read your comments and they remind me so much of my mindset after I found out. Fact is, cheating is wrong. If a marriage isn't working and you can't fix it, get out. Don't cheat to make yourself feel better and destroy other people in the process.



My wife has also hid stuff from me our entire marriage. Even after all this, she still does it. I think some people are just inclined to lie and cheat largely because of their upbringing. But if she doesn't find honesty and faithfulness important, you will not be able to make her.



Just my humble opinion, I am getting out of my relationship because I would rather be able to be an excellent father when I have my kids, than one stuck in misery and not beneficial to them.



Good luck man!