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My Wife Cheated On Me With Multiple Partners

I just found out my wife has been cheating on me for about 9 months about a day and a half ago. The sad part is I have suspected it for about 9 months as well. Every time I accused her, at least 30 different times, of looking at cheating websites, texting people on her phone, asking her if she went somewhere on certain days and saying she didn't, she would look me straight in my eyes and promise me that nothing was happening and that I should trust her. It took me until just early yesterday to finally decide to look at her phone when she was asleep and find the text messages to random people. I feel stupid, hurt, sad, and hopeless. Why didn't I decide to look at her phone earlier... Her reasoning was that she was bored at home all day and said that she never had those "college" experiences back in college such as random sex. I told her that the one thing that would break up our marriage was if she cheated on me, and I told her this numerous times, before and during the point she was cheating. But she did it anyway, and in our own home.

Anyway, now she says that she will do anything and everything to make it up and start all over again and be the wife I want, even taking away her phone and computer. I don't think that's possible. She has destroyed my trust completely and lied to me repeatedly, even when I knew something was going on. Plus I don't want to babysit an adult and wonder if she is lying to me again or going somewhere when I'm at work. I am going to seek counseling soon for myself to deal with all of this. But should I trust her again after lying to me for 9 months about cheating with so many people, after confronting her so many times, her never telling the truth and lying straight to my face? Everything hurts right now, and I keep coming to different conclusions. Just needed to get all of this out there.
BDeth BDeth 31-35, M 60 Responses Apr 29, 2012

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She my friend is a Narcissus. The question is not whether she cheated, but how many times she cheated. This is the very thing a Narcissus is known for. Quote," I didn't get to in college, I was board". It is all about her. I bet you have bent over backwards trying to please her because of her insatiable desire to fulfill her needs. You ever here, once a cheater, always a cheater. It is a famous cliche for a reason. Is it true for every person, no, but for the majority of cases, yes sir. Multiple partners, think clearly about this, do you think you deserve such a total disregard for the vows you spoke, promised, and kept. Kick this lying, cheating, sick, and selfish maneater to the curb. Pack up, and run like hell as far away from this heart stabbing viper as you can. She says now, but I want you. I,I,I,I. I bet she starts every sentence with I. She does not deserve loyalty, because she now, nor may ever be able to reciprocate. You, on the other hand, is letting your heart lead you to the land where cheaters dwell. YOU DO NOT DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN AN HONEST, LOYAL, CARING, WILLING TO WORK THINGS OUT TOGETHER, TRUSTWORTHY WOMAN. And unless you leave," I'm the center of the universe", you'll never ever find her. And trust me, she's out there waiting for you.

I like married women but not porcupines so her multiple partners would turn me off. You can suggest counseling or ask her honestly why she did. Mos I have had were simply bored. Some were like men and wanted something "different"

Just found out for sure that my wife of 43 years has been frequenting, and acting on, online hook up dating sites. I've suspected it for six months or so, been probing her about it, trying to catch her, but was not successful until Fathers Day weekend. I could tell by her body language as she sat across the room from me on her shielded iPad that she was distracted, up to something. So I grabbed a mini video recorder and slipped it behind her so I could see what she was looking at and sure enough, she was arranging the meet up at a Walmart in broad daylight 2:30 in the afternoon!I had seen 'your picks of the week' emails in her email, which she summarily dismissed as unsolicited spam. As well as emails from other dating sites. I'm absolutely devastated by this, don't know how long it's been going on, how many men she's been with. Thinking of getting HIV tested. In fact, her hook up that dreadful Saturday afternoon turned out to be a couple, a man and woman in the parking lot. I know because I placed an audio recorder in her car before she left and I heard portions of their conversation. At one point, I heard the woman ask, "you all wet" and the man cooing about "Marsha" loving Giovanni, which I later learned was a **** star with a line of sex toys. I don't know for sure but either one or both of them experimented on my wife right there in the car or she used her little toy in front of them. I'm told that the latest rave is a remote controlled device. So they could have been pleasuring her by remote.My ******* mind is blown! It's like the worst nightmare, one that won't go away. Now, she's pressuring me into reconciling but won't even admit to anything, says she won't "grovel" and expects me to never probe her on it or mention it again, just like it never happened. <br />
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She's asking for more than I can give. Absent a complete confession and a genuine and sincere request for forgiveness ( which I will grant because I love her that much) either one of two things will happen; either I will stay with her and dog her out by giving her a taste of her own medicine or I will dump her and fight her for every dime she tries to muscle out of me through divorce and alimony. I feel so violated, so ripped off at this stage of my life. Don't think I will ever be able to trust her again. She's been doing this while I've been at work, making her life easier so she can do QVC, and Jared and buy all her little trinkets and **** she likes. And now I find out that she had so little respect for me that she made her hook up right while I sitting 3 feet away from her! Telling her two friends in the parking lot, "tomorrow's just better. He's home." That 'tomorrow' was Fathers Day! And where was I on Mothers Day, with her and my mother and sister, showing her respect. <br />
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All the while, she's been telling me, "I don't have any hormones." Man, I got to be the biggest Fool on the planet! Any thoughts from women on this site?

Leave hr bro coz d person who has cheated u once will do it again... N dis is my personal experience

hello everyone...I am 53 years old married to my wife for 25 years. We are both highly educated and have two kids. Six months ago I found that my ex-soulmate had more than an affair. She had developed a relationship with an unemployed electrician 15 year younger than her. My wife is a medical doctor. I always trusted her judgement and heart. At some time point when we were all on family trip overseas she started talking about bringing home a remote cousin to live with us. When I saw them together and their body language my suspicions grew stronger that <br />
they had sexual contact. Took me a day or two snooping around the stupid facebook to discover sexual conversations between the two of them. My wife continued supporting the unemployed electrician for a good 6 month financially, emotionally and sexually. At the same time all this time she kept open conversations about everything. She has been humiliated by being beaten up by him, she had to go court for domestic violence charges with him, she was texting and talking to him openly on the phone in front of me. When I made her life difficult she left me with our two young kids (15 and 8-both girls) stone cold and rented an apartment away from us to live with her young lover. her relationship with him turned out bad and gradually deteriorated. I wanted to leave this country and go back to my home country but I couldnt abandon my daughters. Mom was all about partying and feeling sexy and such...It was pretty much leave or take deal. All this time it turns out she enjoyed having sex with me, her husband, as well and gradually she started shifting more and more towards me sexually. She was very open about what she did and why she did it. Initially I forgave her but since she kept going with that guy I started feeling more and more repulsion for her. I came to the point to feel sorry for her condition. A trusted physician, mother and wife turned into a stupid whorish trash. I thought about divorce many times and it still up in the air. She says she loves me. She spends less and less time away from home. In my case I put the kids first for a number of reasons. I tried to be reasonable with the situation though I cried for a good three months..then i dried out...I am not sure where we are headed in this "marriage" but now I feel more like a roomate than anything else. If another relationship comes along I might jump off this train but since I am a working 53 year old male taking care of two young daughters I decided to stay on this very unpleasant ride for a while. The difference between men and women is that when men cheat it can be purely a sexual one time thing -its bad...but when women cheat is more than that...a woman wont easily offer her private parts to a man without offering ALSO part of her inner self and that hurts even more...I went to counseling but found no use for it...talked to everybody I knew about my wife's affair...never took it as a shame...just as a sickness she suffered....do I still love her? NO! I love the person she was way before the affair happened...I am thinking riding it out another 10 years until my youngest is off to college...unless something else happens on my part or hers. I sacrificed my career for hers cause she had too much money to pay back...I came to live in a place that I never wanted to be just to be with her...and thats how she paid me back....she is almost 50 now and she is going berzek with hormones, getting older, etc. never mind education, background and family -all out of the window....at times I think my decision was not too bad...My kids "see" mommy and daddy still together, we still share a bad and maybe over time things will get better....although true never the same ever ever again...the once a cheater always a cheater clause recited by many here its true even if a cheater does not cheat again...we all need to realize that all sins are a form of stealing; killing someone : cheating him/her out of their lives; wrongly accusing someone : cheating someone from their reputation; adultery? cheating so many things out of so many people including dignity from your own self..for the cheaters themselves. sure thoughts of abandonment and punishment come to mind all the time...if there is a way though and if there are kids in the middle it may worth a try to stick with your "marriage" to see what happens....if there is still a connection in body and soul couples that go this way they may have chance...

Dude, you got complacent. A woman will push and push for control until she gets it, and when she finally gets control of everything in your life; she will get bored with you. A woman wants to feel that her man is a real man, a take charge kind of guy; not just with the house or the car but with her.
Women are like cats playing with a mouse; as soon as the mouse quits putting up a fight and stops trying to get away, the cat walks away.
And the more you pull on her to get back to the life you shared, the more the other guy will pull to hold on to his meal ticket.
So stop falling apart. Make a decision to move on with out her, once you do that, that cat will want to come back and play. But as long as you are waiting around for her to come to her senses, she will keep playing with the other mouse. Just like when you were in college and the professor gives 2 months to complete a five page report, why would you worry about it now, you have 2 months. She is doing the same thing not worried about you she has plenty of time; right now she is going to have some fun.
I speak from experience, my wife cheated on me twice before I finally divorced her. Here's what I did, I filed for divorce with the intention of keeping my kids.
Then I changed my house around met new people, did things totally opposite of what I used to do. The cat that walked away wanted to come back and play. But, by this time I didn't want to play, it was over I had enough of her playing.

i am happy that i and my Ex are back again and he already told me he needs me and wants to stay with me forever.
dr.marnish@yahoo.com is the greatest!! with his spell all this happened, you can reach him on this number +15036626930
Lisa Rabiye

She will do anything allright. Anything to keep her meal ticket, ATM, house, cars, and cosy little world she has become accustomed with.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

I am not sure if the original poster has ever come back to EP, his story was posted in April of 2012, but I sure hope he was able to get past this relationship and find someone deserving of his love. As someone who is approaching the 1 year anniversary of finding out about their partner cheating I came here looking for proof that a relationship could survive this betrayal. I found the replies very interesting, obviously every relationship is unique and if I can give anyone in a similar situation some advice, it would be communication is everything. Your partner has to be willing to talk openly about what they did, why they did it, etc. because you will have questions for a long time. You may not be able to get past the betrayal and that is ok, it really is more about you in the end.

What do you want for yourself? I still love my husband, still actually in love with him. Our relationship pre-cheating was growing more and more sad as we did not communicate and grew further and further apart. We were too polite, not able to say what we needed, what we wanted and there was an illness that caused him to not be able to "burden" me with his desires, which spiraled out of control.

Since I found out, he has done everything to make me believe he wants this relationship, and only ever wanted this relationship. We talk about painful subjects often, because you have to. you have to let them know when you are hurting inside because a reminder just popped up in a movie, etc. - you'll be surprised to know they felt it too, and feel incredible guilt and saddness over what they have done.

I won't lie, the betrayal is the hardest for me at this time. I guess only time will tell if you ever truly move beyond that. I am working on focusing on me. What do I desire? What do I need? Who am I, as a person and what do I want out of this life?

2014 will be a very interesting year for self discovery, I wish you all well this year, and healing for all of us.

No don't rust her 95% of all cheaters cheat again. It's like the thief that isn't the least bit sorry they stole until the get fought and face consequences. I am a woman and I know it is said that men cheat more than women but this isn't true all my friends I have ver had cheated and if they did it once and got caught they always did it against to the same person that they cheated on int he first place. I am going to get in trouble with the girl code enforcers but I can't say it won't happen again in fact I have never seen it not happen again. The reason why men get coughs more often is because they eventually feel guilty and admit it (dummies!). Girls are smart enough to deny it till they are caught red handed. Sorry fella but she will do it again as soon as she gets the chance because the cheating and hiding is what gives her the rush she is desiring and it's like heroine she will use again.

I totally agree and I'm a man. If they cheat once, they cheat twice. The first time is the hardest after that a woman gets better at hiding it; unless she sleeps with the same guy enough times that she finally decides that is who she wants. Then it's all over, she went overboard and no life raft or life saver will change her mind.

If she had only one partner wile having an affair I would say it would be possible to work through it. But the fact that it was with multiple partners says she is doing it (Because cheating turns her on). There is no changing this type of person because it is a sexual prefference just like you cant turn a gay person strait. So unless you are prepaired to let her sleep with whome she wants and eventually inevetably give you HIV than i would tell her to hit the road.

I just found out after 18 years of being married with my wife that she cheated on me during our honeymoon . She stayed at the dance floor when I went to bed . She was dancing with this Jamaican guy who happened to be a prostitute . From what I gather my wife could of been involved with multiple partners that night engaging in what was an **** in the after hours of the bar closure. What I still don’t know is if she was the only female in there. She did this the day after we took our wedding vows . I don’t believe I will ever heal from this .

It happens more than it should. My first wife was sleeping with her boss while I was in Baghdad, Iraq in the Army. Just found my second wife of 7 years texting at least 5 other guys. One her ex fiance, talking about what they want to do when they meet. I know she met one of them. I have since called her out on them. She swears she hasn't done anything physical. Either way were done. She moved out two days ago. I think the anger is overriding the pain for now.

"But you'll need to set up ground rules, such as limitations on when and where it can happen, perhaps with whom, etc. For starters, I would suggest making your home off limits to activities you aren't involved in. But you'll have to agree on what rules make the most sense for you two. Here's a great opportunity to have the time of your life and make her a very happy woman in the process."

There is something in the dynamic of the cheating which is what she is attracted to. She does not want to have a *********, she wants to cheat. If its not cheating then she is not going to enjoy it like you think.

For now I am just going to be alone thanks. I think I would for more happined in seeking God than in seeking happiness through people.

get that worthless ***** a job. a lot of daytime idle women cheat. shes got that much energy she needs a job.

That is a good idea. But ***** are always *****, works cannot stop them.

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yea... right

I am so sorry. I almost NEVER tell anyone to leave a relationship. For the most part, I beleive that if two people are committed to making it work they can get through almost anything. The key is "committed." Your wife is clearly not committed to either the marriage or you. Her first (and perhaps only) committment is to her own selfish happiness. "Looked you in the eyes?" That is pathological. The fact that she even gave you that horrible rationalization (she missed out on "random sex"! seriously?) just says she will toe the line until you turn your back again. If you aren't sure, go to counseling. I would personally kick this one to the curb and never look back.

she has proven that she is utterly unworthy of trust. She simply does not want to lose in this battle of the sexes thing she is enaging in. If you want her to lean then she will have to pay consequences, which in this case is loosing something important. The best thing you can do for both her and yourself is walk away and never look back. cut off ALL contact with her and leave her in your dust.

This isn't a rvenge thing it is finally forcing her to face the consequences of her actions. Until she has to do this she will never change even for herself.

Sadly , it takes a lot of time to get over stuff like that... But honestly, if you don't think you can work through it and trust her again... It will only drive a wedge between you. My rule of thumb and at my over 40 years... Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Coming from a womens point of view.Not all women are like this.Men do it too.I am 35 years old and have been with my husband for a total of 17 years.I was a virgin and he is the only man ive ever been with and found out 8 months ago he had a one nighter with a 21 year old.Women suffer to and get cheated on.I did not try to get him back and am still faithful till this day.I would say multiple partners you need to let her go.I couldn't ever imagine doing that to my husband.Even know after hes done this and me trying to cope,i could never do what your wife is doing to you.I am so sorry for this and know exactly how you feel.The decision is yours and hope what ever decision you make is the right one for you and you get through even stronger than you ever were before.Keep in touch.Hugs.

You are a good woman if you haven't retaliated sexually. God bless you. We make dumb choices sometimes in relationships and In life. But I applaud you for still being faithful. I don't know but after reading your post. I like you As a person.

Aren't you going to leave him?

I think all man should wake up and smell the roses! Women do not function as men do. If they are with you at any point of time it is because they are getting what they need from you. I am not saying it in a financial way. She could be with you because you take good care of her, but that does not mean that she does not need another man that will make her fell ways that you are unaware of. Basically, they will always do what they please. Enjoy the time they are with you. When they live the house, God only knows what they are up too! The less questions you ask the better! After all , if she does it it's because she needs it. Go with or leave it.

No she will never be faithful for long.. I mean shhh does happen it it was a one time thing and you've been together for years yes move on but multiple partners that's nasty. How many times has she slept with you both or just got finished sleeping with some an doing god know what and came home and kisses you... Leave her and don't look back.. Yes it sucks and it hurts but you can't spend your life trying to keep an eye on her. Once the trust is gone there's no going back

my wife cheated on me this time last year, and i had no ideal she was cheating. i mean i trusted her more than i had ever trusted anyone in my life, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. i ended it the second i found out. if they cheat once they will cheat for the rest of their life, and i'm like you man, i'm not going to babysit an adult, or worry every time she don't answer the phone. or not be home the at the time she said she was going to be.. it's better to be sad for a minute and move on than to let her drive you crazy for another 9 months, and to find, she is still cheating. i never thought one time about taken mine wife back , and now a year later, it don't even matter anymore and to be honest, it hurt really bad for about 3 months, and after that it just pretty much quit.

Thankyou for your comment and I believe you are completely correct

You should read up on hot wives and cuckolding. Maybe you just go with it and let her take her pleasures. many men fantasize over such things and consider it the pinnacle of eroticism. Look into it.

Something dont connect all the way in your head

I truly understand as I also went through a very similar experience. I will tell you that you never ever get completely over it. I truly never believed that my wife would cheat but somehow when it happens you know but don't accept it. The fact that you do not accept it is due to the situation that in marriage its not about just sex its about the trust you put into someone as close to you as your wife, you believe that they would really never do this to you which is what actually took place. Unfortunately when this happens you lose something that you never get back, t is never the same again, you may like me want it to be back like it was but it never returns and in the end it is with you all your life and you never feel the same again its a betrayal that is not just sexual.

i know dude what your saying... for a minute you think there has to be a reason... then i though to myself.. if my wife cheated on me, the person she was suposed to love, trust, bond with, the person she made a oath , to live the rest of her life with cheated on me. just think what she would do to her , business partner, best friend, mother brother, sister, father..... after i thought of that it was pretty much easy to get over her, because that was not the person i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Tiffany July 13, 2013 at 9:44 pm

My husband and I both cheated on each other during our 6th year of marriage. We reconciled, and spent the next 8 years being faithful, and rebuilding our life, or so I thought. While I had changed, and made my life an open book for him to examine at any time, forgiven him and never mentioned his affair again, the same was not true for him. He spent those 8 years calling me names and bringing up MY affair anytime he was upset about anything, while I never mentioned his, but because I was truly sorry, I never defended myself or my grotesque past actions. Now here we are.. 12 years of marriage, he has taken at least 3 lovers, one night stands etc in the last 6 months, hidden them and their correspondence, started being very angry all the time, calling me names more often and becoming down right verbally abusive, telling me he never loved me, threatened to stop paying the bills (I’m a homemaker and homeschool our children). He is military and deployed to strange countries all the time, and he would disappear for days and sometimes weeks, not call or write or respond, and then when he did resurface, he was angry and frustrated etc. He blames MY affair almost 8 years ago for what he is doing today. So that is what ONE guilty adulterer looks like, but I am sure they take other forms.

As for change, I think a tell tale sign if they are going to straighten up is as follows:
1. NO EXCUSES for what they did,
2. NEVER blaming anyone for making them do something
3. NEVER DEFENDING their actions,
4. an attitude of MEEKNESS and HUMBLENESS when asked questions or when their partner seeks reassurance.
5. Respecting reasonable boundaries the partner sets for the road to reconciliation, NO PUSHING LIMItS or TESTING those boundaries

I am in the midst of separation, and I gave him 1 year to prove he has changed, the proof is adherence to those 5 points above, with the obvious checks of phones, bank account, emails, computer files etc.

He pushed very hard for a divorce, and wouldn’t meet me in person except at the lawyer office in the middle of a year long deployment, so we have a neat little settlement agreement which includes alimony and child support and exclusive use of the marital home. Now that he wants to reconcile, again ( he changes his mind every two or three days) I laid a few other things out for how this will work until I”m convinced he has changed: No sex, no depending on the other for normal marital things like picking up from airports or cooking meals, no getting angry when I’m ready for him to leave the house in the evening, counseling once a week for deep underlying issues, full faithfulness sexually and emotionally.

I hope this helps someone.

I understand your comment and fully agree I truly understand as I also went through a very similar experience. I will tell you that you never ever get completely over it. I truly never believed that my wife would cheat but somehow when it happens you know but don't accept it. The fact that you do not accept it is due to the situation that in marriage its not about just sex its about the trust you put into someone as close to you as your wife, you believe that they would really never do this to you which is what actually took place. Unfortunately when this happens you lose something that you never get back, t is never the same again, you may like me want it to be back like it was but it never returns and in the end it is with you all your life and you never feel the same again its a betrayal that is not just sexual.

if you feel like that i\'m sure god has forgiving you... my wife said it was my fault ...lol ///plus she would not even admit it....she just slept on the couch when she spent the night with him...ha ha ha

I understand your hurt and pain, but one of the things I realized before getting married, is that people do cheat. And for whatever reason, as a society we don't talk about the reasons, and leave to its wrong. Granted, it is. But men cheat, women cheat, and we all cheat. Is it an excuse? NO.

But essentially it comes down to we all want to feel attractive ...beyond the one we are with. And for some men and women, this seems to appease their egos.

So I decided to tell me wife it was okay, and I would be understanding if she ever did, and I found out. I just wanted honesty. For me it was a fantasy turnon to think about her being ****** by other men, as we all do.

At the time she said she wouldn't ever. However, after our second child, and placement of an IUD, why wife become a **** lover. How I found out was by her used panties, that contained mens ***** that was oozing out her ***** afterwards. It would be a few more weeks before I was able to determine the sources of this ***** when I found a letteer fro a coworker. Though I discussed with her, and her denial, I never told her about my true evidence.

I would come to know about 12 differement men she was with over our next 8 years of marriage. She would tell me about people she knew, and then I would find the proof.

it indeed hurts like hell. once that trust is lost,i dont know if it can ever be returned. my wife did the same thing to me with someone she met on this very site. due to circumstances beyond my control,i still see her nearly every week. (we actually still work in the same place) after awhile the edge does dull on the hurt. it may not ever go away. it gets better...kinda. mine also lied right to my face and this shows she has zero respect....i'd say cut your losses. that suspicion of what she is doing when you are away,why she sings to a certain song on the radio, if she is mentally comparing you to someone....it will eat you alive.

I agree entirely its less painful in the end

Hey, BDeth,

I truly am sorry to hear your loss. Sadly most cheaters lie for as long as humanly possible so they can avoid/delay the sh*t storm they themselves have created. Some even continue to lie even after hard evidence has long been established.

Your wife sounds like a very insecure woman, whether be because she felt something was missing in your marriage or she just has her own issues that are irrespective of your behavior. The point is that she should have addressed these problems maturely instead of taking the escapist route.

Cheating is always cheating, but I think you're intelligent enough to see that a random one-night stand is far different the months-long affair crap your wife has been pulling. I don't believe cheaters can't change, but they need to start that clean slate with someone else so there is no baggage. They need to be left by the betrayed spouse so the lesson fully sinks in.

I agree I truly understand as I also went through a very similar experience. I will tell you that you never ever get completely over it. I truly never believed that my wife would cheat but somehow when it happens you know but don't accept it. The fact that you do not accept it is due to the situation that in marriage its not about just sex its about the trust you put into someone as close to you as your wife, you believe that they would really never do this to you which is what actually took place. Unfortunately when this happens you lose something that you never get back, t is never the same again, you may like me want it to be back like it was but it never returns and in the end it is with you all your life and you never feel the same again its a betrayal that is not just sexual.

If it was only once shh happens but random different people hell no thT ***** will bring you a disease home or get pregnant by some other guy Noones worth thAt.. Drop her off at a bar on a Friday night tell her take care and never look back.. I'm sure shell find her way into a strangers arms in no time.. It kinda bothers me you would even consider keeping her.. She has multiple partners sinc you've been together I'm pretty sure you kiss her everyday how many of those times did she just get finished whoring around with some random guys privates rubbing across her face lips and other parts that you kiss everyday.. Don't be a sucker sir you find someone better in no time someone you don't have to feel bad for kissing

Remember several things.You are not alone.It is not your fault>she needs to take responsibility for it and be remorseful.Its a lot of work and emotions are gonna be like a rollercoaster.Only you can decide wether its worth it.I have been with my husband for 16 years and was a virgin when I met him,he is the only man ive been with in my whole life.He had an affair on me 3 1/2 months ago.One night stand and he lied to me about it for four weeks.I am also having the hardest time with it.He is very remorseful and is trying his hardest to make amends and make it work.Im the one holding back and I have a wall up.I use to be so happy go lucky and knowthat person is missing.I feel if who I was didn't matter before why should it matter know.We also have two kids together which makes it even harder and I feel as if he shoved them aside also and they weren't important.I am going to counseling and it helps a little but ultimately I have to choose wether or not hes worth it and wether or not im gonna allow this to get to me which I have.It sucks.I know how your feeling.I wish I could say it gets better but for me right know it hasn't.Hope knowing my story has helped.What I can say is she has to show you that you can trust her again.If you are wanting to work it out.

I am 25 years old and i just found out that my wife has been cheating on me for a whole year of our marriage and we've only been married for a year. I found out through prayer and fasting and it was the worse pain I've ever felt in my life. She went to school while i supported her and in return she messed around on me admitting that it was nothing i did just a thing she has a problem with staying faithful. I know how you feel, you give them the world, 110% of everything you've got and they still misuse your trust. And the lying? Yes i got that too i was EXTRA ASSURED by her that this was only one time and would never happen again only to find out it was for the whole year and MORE THAN ONE MAN. I found out about two weeks ago maybe 3, now im sharing with you from an empty apartment as i await my friends to come pick me up so i can move my stuff. I dont think its a question of whether you can stay but rather how wise it will be and if you will be happy and if you dont have kids now might be the perfect time .

Please read my earlier comment and apply it to your situation thanks