My Wife Cheated On Me With Multiple Partners

I just found out my wife has been cheating on me for about 9 months about a day and a half ago. The sad part is I have suspected it for about 9 months as well. Every time I accused her, at least 30 different times, of looking at cheating websites, texting people on her phone, asking her if she went somewhere on certain days and saying she didn't, she would look me straight in my eyes and promise me that nothing was happening and that I should trust her. It took me until just early yesterday to finally decide to look at her phone when she was asleep and find the text messages to random people. I feel stupid, hurt, sad, and hopeless. Why didn't I decide to look at her phone earlier... Her reasoning was that she was bored at home all day and said that she never had those "college" experiences back in college such as random sex. I told her that the one thing that would break up our marriage was if she cheated on me, and I told her this numerous times, before and during the point she was cheating. But she did it anyway, and in our own home.

Anyway, now she says that she will do anything and everything to make it up and start all over again and be the wife I want, even taking away her phone and computer. I don't think that's possible. She has destroyed my trust completely and lied to me repeatedly, even when I knew something was going on. Plus I don't want to babysit an adult and wonder if she is lying to me again or going somewhere when I'm at work. I am going to seek counseling soon for myself to deal with all of this. But should I trust her again after lying to me for 9 months about cheating with so many people, after confronting her so many times, her never telling the truth and lying straight to my face? Everything hurts right now, and I keep coming to different conclusions. Just needed to get all of this out there.
BDeth BDeth
31-35, M
78 Responses Apr 29, 2012

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If she lied once she will lie again. Sorry, but she only told you the truth because she had to. You will constantly be wondering if she's lying.

You are young enough to start again ... so do just that.
Your wife didn't just have a small affair, she had loads of affairs with so many different guys ... because of that I don't think she will change. One day in the future it'll happen again.
Leave her and move on

No. She has lied to your face many times. There is nothing to indicate now is any different.
Life's too short. Move on.

First of all I've been through the same thing and I have given my wife a second chance and after 11 months of trying she done it again. We went coucling done everything by the book things were going great couldn't of asked for a better wife i slowly started to trust her stopped being paronid had a few nice holidays and date nights and bam she got caught out again. And I still feel like I want to make a go of it but I can't not good for my health. All j can say is do what you think is right for you.

I dated a young 23 year old girl with kids from work starting from March 2015 until now. Her kids are two years old but live in a different country. I dated her and took things slowly. I actually grew feelings for her. We would see each other every single day. She would stay over after work everyday. Sometimes sleep over. I even gave her the key to my place to make things convenient. We went out and things seemed normal, She said she was in love with me and wanted a future, we even made short term plans.

I knew she was talking to her baby daddy, They would talk about the kids all the time, he lived in a different city. He knew about me. She said her mom was very controlling and wanted them to get married and everything.

When we first started dating, she had a job interview for a really good company in another city but she said she turned down the job because she wanted to be with me. In September, her mom visits, a few days later she tells me that she received a call and that the job offer was still there and that she was going to move. It was kind of odd to me that she decides it out of nowhere. She told me before that she didn't want a job because she was going to be supported by her dad while she finishes college.

So she moves the last weekend of September and blocks me because she says her mom uses the phone and she didn't want her mom to read our messages which I thought was weird. She also tells me she got diagnosed with a brain tumor which she talked about a long time ago about most likely having.

My grandma died this October, she is nowhere to be found, I was blocked. I sent her a long message explaining how I felt treated unfairly. She gets mad and goes off on me and tells me that her mom was out with her phone when she got home from work. She even accuses me of cheating and is just plain mean. We end up making up and talking all night, everything seemed good. Then she blocks me when she gets home.

Well, I get am email from her saying that it was her Baby Daddy and that she left her laptop logged in and he gave me his number and wanted to talk because she was playing us both and that they never really broke up.

We talk, he tells me that she left him and came to the US and cheated on him a few times while she was here. That she got pregnant by one of the guys and aborted the baby. All this happened before me and her dated. She also went home to visit her children and told the baby daddy that she messed around with guys over there. Then he tells him that around the time she told me that she was moving, that she called him and asked for forgiveness and that she would move right away and that she doesn't talk to me anymore.

I end up calling her to confront her and she was speechless and she cried saying it was true, she was sorry and gave excuses that her mom made her move and that she was stuck in life. All these excuses.

Not the way I like ending things but I said the meanest things to her that nobody should ever say.

I later thanked him and he told me so many things about her that made so much sense. I even told him about some incidents and he was shocked to hear. I even learned that she never got a job and that she never had a tumor. He added me on Facebook and I went through it and found lovey dove post. I even found her checking in with him and her mom at the movie theater at the time she was supposedly working on the Friday my grandma died. I really feel sorry for the Baby Daddy, he says he wants to leave but only stays with her for the children.

So our relationship was kept a secret from work but her closest friends at work were suspicious of us but never said anything. After everything, I decided to tell my coworker that was close to both of us. She tells me that she suspected it was me because her Baby Daddy sent her a message saying that his girlfriend was cheating on him with her coworker but didn't know who and he doesn't know what to do anymore because she keeps cheating. My coworker told the cheater's aunt about the situation and she got mad at her.

It all feels like a soap opera. I was hurt at first but now I am disgusted by her actions. I really feel bad for the Baby Daddy. Honestly, I can now find a woman that is suitable for me. I always felt that I was way out of her league but I only dated her because she seemed like a very good person but all she was good at was lying.

if you used HelloSpy on her phone soon, I think it's less hurt than now. otherwise, sorry for you...

Go by cheat or get cheated I've had many girlfriends in my life and they were not serious relation ships and it does not hurt if your cheated on plus you get laid like mad but I can relate to you I did find a girl that I thought was the one and I'm still going through this right now I met her fell for her she had a little girl that I bonded with we got married had a son we were married for 4 years moved for Florida to Georgia together I got a really good job everything was good until one day I got home for out of town work for four days to an empty house and child support papers tape to the wall I texted her cause she was to cowardly and deceiptful to talk to me she responded I needed to go and told me she had just got an apartment and wouldn't talk to me until I calmed down so she finally called me saying sorry ****** way to leave you can see your son when ever you want so she brought him that day then picked him up that night I still didn't know where she lived cause she wouldn't tell me so I started to investigate and it was simple cause she's dumb I found her address on a piece of mail left from her move out I went there it was an apartment complex there wasn't a house number just the address to the complex so I figured it could be anyone we turned around and asked a dude smoking a cigarette outside if anyone moved in the complex he said no so we left and not a minute later she called me what are you doing at my apartment complex and it hit me like a ton of freaking bricks I said who was that guy are you cheating on me she said no of course not I now everyone in that apt I yelled n screamed and she caved she said I've only been seeing him for 4 days come to find out it was a month and she had the apt for two months that I was paying for and that was the guy with my kids behind the door when he lied and said no while she was at school but I'm dealing with it great I even found out she told me it was three different people first was a one night stand second she was only seeing for a few months but he screwed her over because he cheated on her I told her I was sorry to hear that then the last was the guy smoking that cigarette and she gave me all there names but I see my son and karmas a ***** thats why I say cheat or be cheated cause I told her I've cheated on her before with one person the most beautifulist girl I've ever met i worked outta town alot and when I was building a Walmart I stay in a best western and it was she worked at front desk long before she cheated on me it was actually on our 3 year anniversary haha she is devastated to hear that hung up and I think shes going crazy she lost her job she had just gotten a DUI before leaving so she's on probation now and her probation office back into her van so it broke and city is fixing but taking forever for insurance to work and I'm over it because all women will cheat if they can if she hides her phone and erases text that is like a gateway to a women cheater it leads them to think there good at hiding it things then they start having affairs then they get caught or leave and this is proven the will always blame the guy I would never take her back because once a cheater always a cheater just gotta be prepared to handle it she it was like a glitch in her head through her through a loop when I told her I cheated on that date and she's so jealous its eating her when she sees the girls and I commenting on each others photos I did ask if she wanted to come back she said no because she did not believe me that I had cheated until she seen and it drove her up the wall and that's all I need I would have stayed with her for the kids but she made her choice and I'm fine with it and I found out about this apr24 2015 I'm doing fine cheat or be cheated

Today's women are gross ******. I divorced my loser wife after that piece of useless dogcrap cheated on me after being married for six years. I went through some emotional pain, but I do nor regret divorcing that filthy animal

you can forgive her in time once you go through that process. it will take time , don't rush into another relationship..she will never change.. don't take her back.. if you have kids then you may consider staying but never ever trust her.. once she feels she has your trust she will hurt you again.. and once you forgive her ,that will tell her she can do it again and it will be with even more men...she is a little child and looks at you as that person she can defy and hurt and you will just forgive her.
the truth is man you don't need others or a women to validate you or make you feel loved..the love you invested in her is actually love you gave your self .. she was a bad investment.. you believed it was a good one so you invested yourself.. next time make better standards and guidelines to know what you are getting out of it..
my kids mother cheated on me for years.. in waves and i forgave and forgave and the number of men and the risks she took was larger and larger and she even gave me a STD thank God i was able to cure it.. but do whatever you want.. in the state you are in you most likely will stay with her.. but you will eventually make your move just DONT do anything that will get you in legal trouble.. it isn't worth can make a stand for your integrity and dignity in ways that will build your self worth.. you don't need others you were picked out of billions for a reason.. meaning conception so hold on to that and make your life how you want it..

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Long story short, I found out last week my wife has been cheating on me constantly for the last three years. She waited until I had to be away for a year due to work to drop that bombshell and ask for a divorce because she can't live with her guilt. That hasn't stopped her from starting a relationship with a new guy and wants to move forward with him and not me, even though we have three children together. It's made things a little easier since I'm able to walk away with a clear conscience.

My wife has cheated on me with at least 4 different guys (one being my now former best friend) This has bhappend over a 14 year period. Weve been married 19 yrs. The last one (that I caught her) happend 25 days ago. I know I am freaking stupid but I still love her. But I have finally decided to have sex with someone else . Don't know if it will nake me feel better?? But I know it danb sure couldn't make ne feel any worse!!!!!!

In 2007 (25 years married) I connected enough dots to confirm my wife was the grocery store **** (where she worked). Could not seem to ever get enough **** in her mouth. I was devastated bla, bla, bla. Stuck it out because of the three kids. Saved emails and text messages over the years certain they would be beneficial in divorce court when the time was right. Fast forward to Jan 1, 2015 - Family picnic - wife says "New Years resolution is to turn over a new leaf." A few days later I see a text where she turns down an invitation for a date. She says, "I don't do that anymore." My initial thought was disappointment. Over the years the whole thing had kind of grown on me. I know the password to her iPad so I could see just about everything. I always hoped we could just become more open about it. A few days later I see a text from wife's coworker: "So how was it?" Wife's response: "It was massive and he was very nice to me afterwards." Does that mean he paid her? My brother thinks so. Anyway, so now it's Saturday night of a three day weekend. Haven't seen wife since she left for work Friday morning. My sense is that she'll wander in sometime Monday afternoon. How do I feel? Relieved! A cuckold marriage/relationship probably won't work for most guys but it seems to be working for me.

Love your story, and since you were broken up about it initially, sorry to hear that. I also had a cheating wife, and had to find it out for myself. But it was also something I told her I'd be okay with, if she was honest about it. She lied even when I confronted her after I found a letter. However, the way I really found out was her dirty underwear in the laundry.
In our 10 years of marriage, I knew of 12 different men she was with. She would often talk about different men she knew through work, school, etc, and then I would find her remnants of them. We were divorced, but not for those reasons. I loved knowing she was sharing herself, and men were wanting of her.

If you have Kids you need to think twice before taking a step. In othercase you need to think again. If you can live with it for the rest of your life or would like to start something new and live happily

Brother. My wife banged at least ten different guys behind my back over ten years of marriage. She swears its all over now. Midlife crisis. all the typical bs. We are still together for the girls sake. I can honestly say however en i mean this from the bottom. Of my heart, . . . . .I dont even know who i am anymore. It gets worse everyday. God bless you my man.

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Regardless of your decision regarding your wife's poor choices, consider divorce as the last resource. Try to build that lost trust, if something is not done soon, nothing will stop the already damaged relationship. You are doing great getting help, and you'll be okay. Your wife must get help sex therapy while taking couples counseling. If these efforts fail, pray and kiss her goodbye.

My wife says that I have become the truest form of tyrant in every ones life now especially hers, she says that I have decided to take what my rights always were, without regard of who's needs are to be met.
The truth is there is now only two people who count in my house in the way of needs, ME and my SON. I spent 33 years of paying attention to her needs , longer paying attention to my fathers wants and needs, and I never should have been made responsible for his friends needs as well but I was.

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Your wife does NOT respect you since she is continuing to lie.
DO NOT trust her one more minute longer.

I feel you I too have had the exact same thing happened too me she wouldn't leave I made her sleep on couch I ended up letting her stay I have kids with her it's been two years now I still don't trust her she was sleeping with my so called friends she blamed me for bringing them over I need to get a d.n.a. I don't even think all my kids are mine I'm so tired of her fake ways I'm the one who was so Hart broken it hurts its embarrassing I tried to let it go but having a hard time I think she is up to something again I caught her on my son's computer and sheer jump and closed it I said who was on computer she said some lame lie I should have looked I don't no why I even trusted her

Brother, get help! When you had the chance to look and you did not, is a bad sign. It means you don't want to get hurt again and by not looking you are delaying the inevitable! She lost respect for you and respect for her. She needs therapy and most likely medications to control her impulsive behavior.

She my friend is a Narcissus. The question is not whether she cheated, but how many times she cheated. This is the very thing a Narcissus is known for. Quote," I didn't get to in college, I was board". It is all about her. I bet you have bent over backwards trying to please her because of her insatiable desire to fulfill her needs. You ever here, once a cheater, always a cheater. It is a famous cliche for a reason. Is it true for every person, no, but for the majority of cases, yes sir. Multiple partners, think clearly about this, do you think you deserve such a total disregard for the vows you spoke, promised, and kept. Kick this lying, cheating, sick, and selfish maneater to the curb. Pack up, and run like hell as far away from this heart stabbing viper as you can. She says now, but I want you. I,I,I,I. I bet she starts every sentence with I. She does not deserve loyalty, because she now, nor may ever be able to reciprocate. You, on the other hand, is letting your heart lead you to the land where cheaters dwell. YOU DO NOT DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN AN HONEST, LOYAL, CARING, WILLING TO WORK THINGS OUT TOGETHER, TRUSTWORTHY WOMAN. And unless you leave," I'm the center of the universe", you'll never ever find her. And trust me, she's out there waiting for you.

Totally agree with your advise Sir.

I like married women but not porcupines so her multiple partners would turn me off. You can suggest counseling or ask her honestly why she did. Mos I have had were simply bored. Some were like men and wanted something "different"

Just found out for sure that my wife of 43 years has been frequenting, and acting on, online hook up dating sites. I've suspected it for six months or so, been probing her about it, trying to catch her, but was not successful until Fathers Day weekend. I could tell by her body language as she sat across the room from me on her shielded iPad that she was distracted, up to something. So I grabbed a mini video recorder and slipped it behind her so I could see what she was looking at and sure enough, she was arranging the meet up at a Walmart in broad daylight 2:30 in the afternoon!I had seen 'your picks of the week' emails in her email, which she summarily dismissed as unsolicited spam. As well as emails from other dating sites. I'm absolutely devastated by this, don't know how long it's been going on, how many men she's been with. Thinking of getting HIV tested. In fact, her hook up that dreadful Saturday afternoon turned out to be a couple, a man and woman in the parking lot. I know because I placed an audio recorder in her car before she left and I heard portions of their conversation. At one point, I heard the woman ask, "you all wet" and the man cooing about "Marsha" loving Giovanni, which I later learned was a **** star with a line of sex toys. I don't know for sure but either one or both of them experimented on my wife right there in the car or she used her little toy in front of them. I'm told that the latest rave is a remote controlled device. So they could have been pleasuring her by remote.My ******* mind is blown! It's like the worst nightmare, one that won't go away. Now, she's pressuring me into reconciling but won't even admit to anything, says she won't "grovel" and expects me to never probe her on it or mention it again, just like it never happened. <br />
<br />
She's asking for more than I can give. Absent a complete confession and a genuine and sincere request for forgiveness ( which I will grant because I love her that much) either one of two things will happen; either I will stay with her and dog her out by giving her a taste of her own medicine or I will dump her and fight her for every dime she tries to muscle out of me through divorce and alimony. I feel so violated, so ripped off at this stage of my life. Don't think I will ever be able to trust her again. She's been doing this while I've been at work, making her life easier so she can do QVC, and Jared and buy all her little trinkets and **** she likes. And now I find out that she had so little respect for me that she made her hook up right while I sitting 3 feet away from her! Telling her two friends in the parking lot, "tomorrow's just better. He's home." That 'tomorrow' was Fathers Day! And where was I on Mothers Day, with her and my mother and sister, showing her respect. <br />
<br />
All the while, she's been telling me, "I don't have any hormones." Man, I got to be the biggest Fool on the planet! Any thoughts from women on this site?

Leave hr bro coz d person who has cheated u once will do it again... N dis is my personal experience

hello everyone...I am 53 years old married to my wife for 25 years. We are both highly educated and have two kids. Six months ago I found that my ex-soulmate had more than an affair. She had developed a relationship with an unemployed electrician 15 year younger than her. My wife is a medical doctor. I always trusted her judgement and heart. At some time point when we were all on family trip overseas she started talking about bringing home a remote cousin to live with us. When I saw them together and their body language my suspicions grew stronger that <br />
they had sexual contact. Took me a day or two snooping around the stupid facebook to discover sexual conversations between the two of them. My wife continued supporting the unemployed electrician for a good 6 month financially, emotionally and sexually. At the same time all this time she kept open conversations about everything. She has been humiliated by being beaten up by him, she had to go court for domestic violence charges with him, she was texting and talking to him openly on the phone in front of me. When I made her life difficult she left me with our two young kids (15 and 8-both girls) stone cold and rented an apartment away from us to live with her young lover. her relationship with him turned out bad and gradually deteriorated. I wanted to leave this country and go back to my home country but I couldnt abandon my daughters. Mom was all about partying and feeling sexy and such...It was pretty much leave or take deal. All this time it turns out she enjoyed having sex with me, her husband, as well and gradually she started shifting more and more towards me sexually. She was very open about what she did and why she did it. Initially I forgave her but since she kept going with that guy I started feeling more and more repulsion for her. I came to the point to feel sorry for her condition. A trusted physician, mother and wife turned into a stupid whorish trash. I thought about divorce many times and it still up in the air. She says she loves me. She spends less and less time away from home. In my case I put the kids first for a number of reasons. I tried to be reasonable with the situation though I cried for a good three months..then i dried out...I am not sure where we are headed in this "marriage" but now I feel more like a roomate than anything else. If another relationship comes along I might jump off this train but since I am a working 53 year old male taking care of two young daughters I decided to stay on this very unpleasant ride for a while. The difference between men and women is that when men cheat it can be purely a sexual one time thing -its bad...but when women cheat is more than that...a woman wont easily offer her private parts to a man without offering ALSO part of her inner self and that hurts even more...I went to counseling but found no use for it...talked to everybody I knew about my wife's affair...never took it as a shame...just as a sickness she I still love her? NO! I love the person she was way before the affair happened...I am thinking riding it out another 10 years until my youngest is off to college...unless something else happens on my part or hers. I sacrificed my career for hers cause she had too much money to pay back...I came to live in a place that I never wanted to be just to be with her...and thats how she paid me back....she is almost 50 now and she is going berzek with hormones, getting older, etc. never mind education, background and family -all out of the times I think my decision was not too bad...My kids "see" mommy and daddy still together, we still share a bad and maybe over time things will get better....although true never the same ever ever again...the once a cheater always a cheater clause recited by many here its true even if a cheater does not cheat again...we all need to realize that all sins are a form of stealing; killing someone : cheating him/her out of their lives; wrongly accusing someone : cheating someone from their reputation; adultery? cheating so many things out of so many people including dignity from your own self..for the cheaters themselves. sure thoughts of abandonment and punishment come to mind all the time...if there is a way though and if there are kids in the middle it may worth a try to stick with your "marriage" to see what happens....if there is still a connection in body and soul couples that go this way they may have chance...

Dude, you got complacent. A woman will push and push for control until she gets it, and when she finally gets control of everything in your life; she will get bored with you. A woman wants to feel that her man is a real man, a take charge kind of guy; not just with the house or the car but with her.
Women are like cats playing with a mouse; as soon as the mouse quits putting up a fight and stops trying to get away, the cat walks away.
And the more you pull on her to get back to the life you shared, the more the other guy will pull to hold on to his meal ticket.
So stop falling apart. Make a decision to move on with out her, once you do that, that cat will want to come back and play. But as long as you are waiting around for her to come to her senses, she will keep playing with the other mouse. Just like when you were in college and the professor gives 2 months to complete a five page report, why would you worry about it now, you have 2 months. She is doing the same thing not worried about you she has plenty of time; right now she is going to have some fun.
I speak from experience, my wife cheated on me twice before I finally divorced her. Here's what I did, I filed for divorce with the intention of keeping my kids.
Then I changed my house around met new people, did things totally opposite of what I used to do. The cat that walked away wanted to come back and play. But, by this time I didn't want to play, it was over I had enough of her playing.

i am happy that i and my Ex are back again and he already told me he needs me and wants to stay with me forever. is the greatest!! with his spell all this happened, you can reach him on this number +15036626930
Lisa Rabiye

She will do anything allright. Anything to keep her meal ticket, ATM, house, cars, and cosy little world she has become accustomed with.

Stay Strong & Good Luck

I am not sure if the original poster has ever come back to EP, his story was posted in April of 2012, but I sure hope he was able to get past this relationship and find someone deserving of his love. As someone who is approaching the 1 year anniversary of finding out about their partner cheating I came here looking for proof that a relationship could survive this betrayal. I found the replies very interesting, obviously every relationship is unique and if I can give anyone in a similar situation some advice, it would be communication is everything. Your partner has to be willing to talk openly about what they did, why they did it, etc. because you will have questions for a long time. You may not be able to get past the betrayal and that is ok, it really is more about you in the end.

What do you want for yourself? I still love my husband, still actually in love with him. Our relationship pre-cheating was growing more and more sad as we did not communicate and grew further and further apart. We were too polite, not able to say what we needed, what we wanted and there was an illness that caused him to not be able to "burden" me with his desires, which spiraled out of control.

Since I found out, he has done everything to make me believe he wants this relationship, and only ever wanted this relationship. We talk about painful subjects often, because you have to. you have to let them know when you are hurting inside because a reminder just popped up in a movie, etc. - you'll be surprised to know they felt it too, and feel incredible guilt and saddness over what they have done.

I won't lie, the betrayal is the hardest for me at this time. I guess only time will tell if you ever truly move beyond that. I am working on focusing on me. What do I desire? What do I need? Who am I, as a person and what do I want out of this life?

2014 will be a very interesting year for self discovery, I wish you all well this year, and healing for all of us.

No don't rust her 95% of all cheaters cheat again. It's like the thief that isn't the least bit sorry they stole until the get fought and face consequences. I am a woman and I know it is said that men cheat more than women but this isn't true all my friends I have ver had cheated and if they did it once and got caught they always did it against to the same person that they cheated on int he first place. I am going to get in trouble with the girl code enforcers but I can't say it won't happen again in fact I have never seen it not happen again. The reason why men get coughs more often is because they eventually feel guilty and admit it (dummies!). Girls are smart enough to deny it till they are caught red handed. Sorry fella but she will do it again as soon as she gets the chance because the cheating and hiding is what gives her the rush she is desiring and it's like heroine she will use again.

I totally agree and I'm a man. If they cheat once, they cheat twice. The first time is the hardest after that a woman gets better at hiding it; unless she sleeps with the same guy enough times that she finally decides that is who she wants. Then it's all over, she went overboard and no life raft or life saver will change her mind.

My husband says that for every man that cheats there usually is a wife that cheats in my seven affairs over 31 years I never went out with a single man. My husband used my journals to ruin the life of every man I had an affair with because he decided to inform their wives that I had a fling with them.
My husbands father considered this a dishonorable, dastardly thing to do. But I can attest that the only men that ever looked at me and arranged to go out with me the first time were every time married men.

You sound as though you are judging the married men YOU had affairs with. Your tone suggests the 'shame on them, they were married' attitude. They definitely shouldn't have had secret affairs with married women but none of them had a contract with your husband as you did. In an affair I would hold my wife way more responsible than the other guy. You, he trusted. You betrayed him, not them.

Yes and three years ago this month I paid the first of a hard price. My husband came home from a stress center after just about killing the man in my last affair. it was not over the affair but over the OM sweeping his cane and calling him a pathetic looser after hitting the floor. My husband uses canes aver 4 feet long, It had a spiked tip under the rubber and he took the rubber grip off. It flew like a javlin into the OMs head. The police arrived to here things like who's pathetic now. He broke every bone in his face. Two weeks latter my husband refused any negotiation trying just to get him to even negotiate any way to slow things down so everyone could think. I was begging him for a reset to the two years we offered in 1985 too work through things after he returned from the navy, He was no longer waiting. He raped me. threw his fathers best friend face first into the drive. and told his father if he touched him he was a dead man.

1 More Response

If she had only one partner wile having an affair I would say it would be possible to work through it. But the fact that it was with multiple partners says she is doing it (Because cheating turns her on). There is no changing this type of person because it is a sexual prefference just like you cant turn a gay person strait. So unless you are prepaired to let her sleep with whome she wants and eventually inevetably give you HIV than i would tell her to hit the road.

I just found out after 18 years of being married with my wife that she cheated on me during our honeymoon . She stayed at the dance floor when I went to bed . She was dancing with this Jamaican guy who happened to be a prostitute . From what I gather my wife could of been involved with multiple partners that night engaging in what was an **** in the after hours of the bar closure. What I still don’t know is if she was the only female in there. She did this the day after we took our wedding vows . I don’t believe I will ever heal from this .

It happens more than it should. My first wife was sleeping with her boss while I was in Baghdad, Iraq in the Army. Just found my second wife of 7 years texting at least 5 other guys. One her ex fiance, talking about what they want to do when they meet. I know she met one of them. I have since called her out on them. She swears she hasn't done anything physical. Either way were done. She moved out two days ago. I think the anger is overriding the pain for now.

"But you'll need to set up ground rules, such as limitations on when and where it can happen, perhaps with whom, etc. For starters, I would suggest making your home off limits to activities you aren't involved in. But you'll have to agree on what rules make the most sense for you two. Here's a great opportunity to have the time of your life and make her a very happy woman in the process."

There is something in the dynamic of the cheating which is what she is attracted to. She does not want to have a *********, she wants to cheat. If its not cheating then she is not going to enjoy it like you think.

For now I am just going to be alone thanks. I think I would for more happined in seeking God than in seeking happiness through people.

get that worthless ***** a job. a lot of daytime idle women cheat. shes got that much energy she needs a job.

That is a good idea. But ***** are always *****, works cannot stop them.

I am the happiest person on earth today because My five years run away lover came back to me on his knees with tears on his eye begging me to forgive him and accept him back, Doctor Zaza a great Spell caster made this possible with the help of a spell. i saw his email on the internet where a girl post on how Doctor Zaza helped her, so i decided to contact him and he told me that every thing will be fine and now i am happy because Doctor Zaza is a man of his word because everything went well as he promised me. Are you having misunderstanding with your love or is he seeing someone else? what is your problem that you wish to solve? contact Doctor Zaza today via email and every thing will be fine

I am so sorry. I almost NEVER tell anyone to leave a relationship. For the most part, I beleive that if two people are committed to making it work they can get through almost anything. The key is "committed." Your wife is clearly not committed to either the marriage or you. Her first (and perhaps only) committment is to her own selfish happiness. "Looked you in the eyes?" That is pathological. The fact that she even gave you that horrible rationalization (she missed out on "random sex"! seriously?) just says she will toe the line until you turn your back again. If you aren't sure, go to counseling. I would personally kick this one to the curb and never look back.

she has proven that she is utterly unworthy of trust. She simply does not want to lose in this battle of the sexes thing she is enaging in. If you want her to lean then she will have to pay consequences, which in this case is loosing something important. The best thing you can do for both her and yourself is walk away and never look back. cut off ALL contact with her and leave her in your dust.

This isn't a rvenge thing it is finally forcing her to face the consequences of her actions. Until she has to do this she will never change even for herself.

Sadly , it takes a lot of time to get over stuff like that... But honestly, if you don't think you can work through it and trust her again... It will only drive a wedge between you. My rule of thumb and at my over 40 years... Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Coming from a womens point of view.Not all women are like this.Men do it too.I am 35 years old and have been with my husband for a total of 17 years.I was a virgin and he is the only man ive ever been with and found out 8 months ago he had a one nighter with a 21 year old.Women suffer to and get cheated on.I did not try to get him back and am still faithful till this day.I would say multiple partners you need to let her go.I couldn't ever imagine doing that to my husband.Even know after hes done this and me trying to cope,i could never do what your wife is doing to you.I am so sorry for this and know exactly how you feel.The decision is yours and hope what ever decision you make is the right one for you and you get through even stronger than you ever were before.Keep in touch.Hugs.

You are a good woman if you haven't retaliated sexually. God bless you. We make dumb choices sometimes in relationships and In life. But I applaud you for still being faithful. I don't know but after reading your post. I like you As a person.

Aren't you going to leave him?

I think all man should wake up and smell the roses! Women do not function as men do. If they are with you at any point of time it is because they are getting what they need from you. I am not saying it in a financial way. She could be with you because you take good care of her, but that does not mean that she does not need another man that will make her fell ways that you are unaware of. Basically, they will always do what they please. Enjoy the time they are with you. When they live the house, God only knows what they are up too! The less questions you ask the better! After all , if she does it it's because she needs it. Go with or leave it.

No she will never be faithful for long.. I mean shhh does happen it it was a one time thing and you've been together for years yes move on but multiple partners that's nasty. How many times has she slept with you both or just got finished sleeping with some an doing god know what and came home and kisses you... Leave her and don't look back.. Yes it sucks and it hurts but you can't spend your life trying to keep an eye on her. Once the trust is gone there's no going back

You should read up on hot wives and cuckolding. Maybe you just go with it and let her take her pleasures. many men fantasize over such things and consider it the pinnacle of eroticism. Look into it.

Something dont connect all the way in your head

I truly understand as I also went through a very similar experience. I will tell you that you never ever get completely over it. I truly never believed that my wife would cheat but somehow when it happens you know but don't accept it. The fact that you do not accept it is due to the situation that in marriage its not about just sex its about the trust you put into someone as close to you as your wife, you believe that they would really never do this to you which is what actually took place. Unfortunately when this happens you lose something that you never get back, t is never the same again, you may like me want it to be back like it was but it never returns and in the end it is with you all your life and you never feel the same again its a betrayal that is not just sexual.

Tiffany July 13, 2013 at 9:44 pm

My husband and I both cheated on each other during our 6th year of marriage. We reconciled, and spent the next 8 years being faithful, and rebuilding our life, or so I thought. While I had changed, and made my life an open book for him to examine at any time, forgiven him and never mentioned his affair again, the same was not true for him. He spent those 8 years calling me names and bringing up MY affair anytime he was upset about anything, while I never mentioned his, but because I was truly sorry, I never defended myself or my grotesque past actions. Now here we are.. 12 years of marriage, he has taken at least 3 lovers, one night stands etc in the last 6 months, hidden them and their correspondence, started being very angry all the time, calling me names more often and becoming down right verbally abusive, telling me he never loved me, threatened to stop paying the bills (I’m a homemaker and homeschool our children). He is military and deployed to strange countries all the time, and he would disappear for days and sometimes weeks, not call or write or respond, and then when he did resurface, he was angry and frustrated etc. He blames MY affair almost 8 years ago for what he is doing today. So that is what ONE guilty adulterer looks like, but I am sure they take other forms.

As for change, I think a tell tale sign if they are going to straighten up is as follows:
1. NO EXCUSES for what they did,
2. NEVER blaming anyone for making them do something
3. NEVER DEFENDING their actions,
4. an attitude of MEEKNESS and HUMBLENESS when asked questions or when their partner seeks reassurance.
5. Respecting reasonable boundaries the partner sets for the road to reconciliation, NO PUSHING LIMItS or TESTING those boundaries

I am in the midst of separation, and I gave him 1 year to prove he has changed, the proof is adherence to those 5 points above, with the obvious checks of phones, bank account, emails, computer files etc.

He pushed very hard for a divorce, and wouldn’t meet me in person except at the lawyer office in the middle of a year long deployment, so we have a neat little settlement agreement which includes alimony and child support and exclusive use of the marital home. Now that he wants to reconcile, again ( he changes his mind every two or three days) I laid a few other things out for how this will work until I”m convinced he has changed: No sex, no depending on the other for normal marital things like picking up from airports or cooking meals, no getting angry when I’m ready for him to leave the house in the evening, counseling once a week for deep underlying issues, full faithfulness sexually and emotionally.

I hope this helps someone.

I understand your comment and fully agree I truly understand as I also went through a very similar experience. I will tell you that you never ever get completely over it. I truly never believed that my wife would cheat but somehow when it happens you know but don't accept it. The fact that you do not accept it is due to the situation that in marriage its not about just sex its about the trust you put into someone as close to you as your wife, you believe that they would really never do this to you which is what actually took place. Unfortunately when this happens you lose something that you never get back, t is never the same again, you may like me want it to be back like it was but it never returns and in the end it is with you all your life and you never feel the same again its a betrayal that is not just sexual.

I understand your hurt and pain, but one of the things I realized before getting married, is that people do cheat. And for whatever reason, as a society we don't talk about the reasons, and leave to its wrong. Granted, it is. But men cheat, women cheat, and we all cheat. Is it an excuse? NO.

But essentially it comes down to we all want to feel attractive ...beyond the one we are with. And for some men and women, this seems to appease their egos.

So I decided to tell me wife it was okay, and I would be understanding if she ever did, and I found out. I just wanted honesty. For me it was a fantasy turnon to think about her being ****** by other men, as we all do.

At the time she said she wouldn't ever. However, after our second child, and placement of an IUD, why wife become a **** lover. How I found out was by her used panties, that contained mens ***** that was oozing out her ***** afterwards. It would be a few more weeks before I was able to determine the sources of this ***** when I found a letteer fro a coworker. Though I discussed with her, and her denial, I never told her about my true evidence.

I would come to know about 12 differement men she was with over our next 8 years of marriage. She would tell me about people she knew, and then I would find the proof.

it indeed hurts like hell. once that trust is lost,i dont know if it can ever be returned. my wife did the same thing to me with someone she met on this very site. due to circumstances beyond my control,i still see her nearly every week. (we actually still work in the same place) after awhile the edge does dull on the hurt. it may not ever go away. it gets better...kinda. mine also lied right to my face and this shows she has zero respect....i'd say cut your losses. that suspicion of what she is doing when you are away,why she sings to a certain song on the radio, if she is mentally comparing you to will eat you alive.

I agree entirely its less painful in the end

If it was only once shh happens but random different people hell no thT ***** will bring you a disease home or get pregnant by some other guy Noones worth thAt.. Drop her off at a bar on a Friday night tell her take care and never look back.. I'm sure shell find her way into a strangers arms in no time.. It kinda bothers me you would even consider keeping her.. She has multiple partners sinc you've been together I'm pretty sure you kiss her everyday how many of those times did she just get finished whoring around with some random guys privates rubbing across her face lips and other parts that you kiss everyday.. Don't be a sucker sir you find someone better in no time someone you don't have to feel bad for kissing

Remember several things.You are not alone.It is not your fault>she needs to take responsibility for it and be remorseful.Its a lot of work and emotions are gonna be like a rollercoaster.Only you can decide wether its worth it.I have been with my husband for 16 years and was a virgin when I met him,he is the only man ive been with in my whole life.He had an affair on me 3 1/2 months ago.One night stand and he lied to me about it for four weeks.I am also having the hardest time with it.He is very remorseful and is trying his hardest to make amends and make it work.Im the one holding back and I have a wall up.I use to be so happy go lucky and knowthat person is missing.I feel if who I was didn't matter before why should it matter know.We also have two kids together which makes it even harder and I feel as if he shoved them aside also and they weren't important.I am going to counseling and it helps a little but ultimately I have to choose wether or not hes worth it and wether or not im gonna allow this to get to me which I have.It sucks.I know how your feeling.I wish I could say it gets better but for me right know it hasn't.Hope knowing my story has helped.What I can say is she has to show you that you can trust her again.If you are wanting to work it out.

I am 25 years old and i just found out that my wife has been cheating on me for a whole year of our marriage and we've only been married for a year. I found out through prayer and fasting and it was the worse pain I've ever felt in my life. She went to school while i supported her and in return she messed around on me admitting that it was nothing i did just a thing she has a problem with staying faithful. I know how you feel, you give them the world, 110% of everything you've got and they still misuse your trust. And the lying? Yes i got that too i was EXTRA ASSURED by her that this was only one time and would never happen again only to find out it was for the whole year and MORE THAN ONE MAN. I found out about two weeks ago maybe 3, now im sharing with you from an empty apartment as i await my friends to come pick me up so i can move my stuff. I dont think its a question of whether you can stay but rather how wise it will be and if you will be happy and if you dont have kids now might be the perfect time .

Please read my earlier comment and apply it to your situation thanks

Look, I know exactly how you feel, i was there myself, i was scared as to what would this affect my kids,I did everything to recover my mrriage, because i still love her, but nothing worked, i was miserable, i cried my hear out, it was unbearable, i did counseling,read many books on relationships, and you may or may not believe me, but i found many answers on a book i found on a site called, in fact it is a book i would hide whenever someone approached me. it just has a title you cant carry everywhere.but the only reason im sharing this is because it simply works. you'll thank me later, i wish i have had someone showed it to me earlier. best luck!

What your going threw is hard I don't know if u believe in God but at times like this u need him for direction and healing u will want healing from your partner but it won't fix all the hurt and betrail u feel forgiveness is not weaknesses sometimes out of bad comes greater good but be wise that u find why it happen so u can fix the problem

If she lies to your face about cheating then she has lost all respect for you as a friend, lover, and husband. She wasn't sorry and willing to right her wrongs untill she was caught. It sounds to me that you have already made your mind to keep her and you're looking for people to agree with you so you can feel like you made the right choice. Do yourself a favor and ask her to prove that you can trust her. I she responds with a retort or says its not worth it, then kick her *** to the gutter! It will hurt like hell and test your resolve, but better now than later!

Literately, welled up with tears reading your story. Wish, it was an easy process, but it's not. Follow your heart.Only you could ever answer the question of whether or not you should let her go. Wish you the best, know what it is like when your whole world goes dark. Stay strong, I left my wife she took my kids with her. Words can not what it is like when the person who matters most to you in life betrays you. This post is from April, 2012, may you find peace in your heart friend sorry this happened to you.

I could have written this. I feel like I'm reading my own experiences except that I am no where near strong enough to get out of my relationship. I fear too much.

I know what you are going through. My wife of 5 years has had one emotional affair with her supervisor last year that led to kissing several times at work. I had a feeling she had feelings about this man for over a year and asked her about that fact several times, she said I was crazy until the day I found text messages describing how much she wanted him in a text conversation with a female coworker. She lied and told me it was a stupid fantasy and nothing happened, I demanded counseling and she lied about her true feeling about this guy and what actually happened between them. I only found out about the make out session this year after I found out she was having a full blow physical affair with another man from her work! That is two men in less than a year, and she said that she thought she was falling in love with them. ( There were other times that she stayed out all night long and signs that she cheated from the first year of our marriage. she was also held at gun point by her last husband and i only found out the truth behind his melt down....she was talking to other men on the computer and denying her husband in every way possible so he lost it and damn near killed her.) I asked her where I was in these relationships and what about your love for me? You are my wife.... She stated that she loved me. That I had nothing to do with the affairs and that she still loved me the same as she always have. .?????? What the hell does that mean? And how is that possible? Well the long and short of all of this is that I have researched the web on this subject from all sides and I am now convinced that my wife has NPD and there is no hope for a stable trusting relationship with someone that suffers from NPD. It is not our fault that we did not see these woman for who they really are, we are all codependent and the perfect prey for a NPD woman. This is especially true for those of us that have a wife that cheats multiple time sexual or emotional...they simply don't care about us or anyone else! They only care about controlling us and having what they want and need....and what they need is attention and admiration! Remember one two things... It is not about great sex...... And it is not about you. That is the only truthful thing my wife said to me about her affairs. I just think she has no idea she was telling me the truth she was only telling me what she thought I needed to hear. You only have one choice to make and that is to leave! You have to stop asking why because you will never understand why these people do what they do. you just need to pack your **** and run, do not fight her in anyway nor antagonize her, let her think that she has the upper hand and that you are suffering without her....but leave her and do it soon!

Probably not what you want to hear, but people cheat. Some people need more than their main partner for sexual completion. Your wife is one of those people. I suggest you talk to her about her needs. Probably the best thing you can do to strengthen your relationship is to allow her to have encounters with others, with your permission, and then it won't be cheating. You will enjoy renewed love and better than ever sex. You can also enjoy ********** where you two get together with one of her boyfriends. But you'll need to set up ground rules, such as limitations on when and where it can happen, perhaps with whom, etc. For starters, I would suggest making your home off limits to activities you aren't involved in. But you'll have to agree on what rules make the most sense for you two. Here's a great opportunity to have the time of your life and make her a very happy woman in the process. Don't let your ego get in the way now and then wish you hadn't missed the opportunity later... go for it! Best of luck, enjoy, and if you have the insight to go this way, message me and let me know how it's going.

It's a tough spot you are in. My husband also is a cheater. First time I forgave but he never actually was totally honest about it. Second time with our then underage baby sitter although the only proof I have is the babysitter came an apologized to me years later, but wouldn't explain what for. Third time with a girl named Angie that he used to work with, which he denies. And many others that he has attempted to have relationships with. Once a cheater - Always a cheater.

One more response to all readers of this post. DO NOT ask questions of your cheating partner. Does it matter? it will only make things hurt worse. You will NEVER know if your being told the truth or a lie.... Think about it, they had to lie to pull off the cheating. They cared so little for you and the relationship, and the family that they cheated. Asking questions will only lead to more questions and you going over the answers time and again in your mind. I learned this first hand. The best thing is to say "ok, it's over." and concentrate on being the best you that you can be. Also know that it has nothing to do with you. A person who cheats does not even think of their spouse when cheating, they only think of themselves.

For all of you reading this. I would like some advice on how to get past this. It has been 7 years since I have found out, 5 years since I divorced, and I still think about it every day... I want to get over and past it. I have had other girlfriends since and have done the whole random sex thing etc. I just want to return to being happy without needing a distraction... any adivise?


I found out 15 years later that my wife cheated during the first year we were married. Same story as all on here. Married too young, young and stupid, you name it. I tried for two years and asked lots of questions and got some truths and some lies. The problem is this.... You will NEVER have all the answers and the deeper you dig the worse it gets. Your NEED to divorce and move on. The trust can never be repaired because 6 years later I still feel it. I have to have contact with her for our kids. She says that she wants me back and that all the lies are out. I don't believe her, and you should not believe yours either. You will always check emails, phone records, times that she gets home from work, etc. Do you want to live like this? Think about it from another perspective. If you were never married and just met this or any woman. Would you knowingly get into a relationship with a person that you know you would have to watch and check emails and phone records and such.... No one would. Get out of the relationship while alimony will be cheap and time limited. Kids are resilient and will heal quicker than you. I still love my ex and would like to repair things especially because now she is a whole different person. But...... there is no trust and I feel that I should not have to work so hard to have a relationship. It really hurts, allow yourself to cry, break stuff, whatever you need to do that is legal. DO NOT hurt her or cheat in return. DO NOT hurt yourself as you deserve better. Once a cheater, always a cheater, don't believe me do this; Create an email account (fake one). Go to one of the sites that she visits, and create an account with fake pictures etc. Go you google and create a google phone account (it's free) so that you can have a different phone number that can go to your current phone but will be mapped appropriately. Then contact her without giving much info. You will find out really quickly that she will do the same stuff again.... Take your time with this and tell no one that you know until after your done.

Same boat. My ex-wife cheated on me with our pastor. I seperated came back and fought a lot and divorced her. Have three kids with her. I moved away and relocated to Mexico. I came back on her request and pleads. I cheated on her and she in returned cheated on me again. This time she went alll out and got her self a boyfriend. I was seen someone too. Felt like a open relationship. So, I left the house again and told her I never wanted her again.
I came back once more afteer she left her boyfriend for cheating on her. He also left her in debt and behing her mortgage.

So, I came and tried it once more. I payed all her bills and house payment. Then two months into the realationship. SHe cheated on me again. Her excuse was her ex-boyfriend offered her $1,000.00. I feel so stupid and used. She didn't even get the money. Now, I'm still with her. Just waiting on someone to help me move. I feel so deperessed and useless. I hate myself. I hate this life. Why did she do this to me. After all I done for her. She repays me that way. I love my children a lot. I don't want her to loose the house.

SHe doesn't have a good job to pay the house and bills. I do, but I just can't live this way. If leave she might loose the house and my kids end up in a homeless shelter. If I stay... I will be a fool and be unhappy.

Lesson is never trust a cheater and liar. Cuase they really never change. IMO

Let her end up homeless.... it will suck but then you can petition for full custody of the kids and she will have to pay you support. The kids can still visit with their mother but it will be supervised and you will hold all the cards.

The emotional toll is incredible!
Overwhelming at times where I just blow up and think the worst.
My particular problem is I've looked at myself in the mirror and didn't like what I see...
I need to be the best father and husband I can before I can fix us.
Which I have dedicated myself too!
I adore my wife more than ever for some reason,(although angrier than ever at times)but will forgive her as it has supposedly stopped and I pray to God it has.
It's hard to get the trust back but just keep working on it daily!
It will take time but if it's the one you love it's worth it!

I'm a woman and I do not agree with woman cheating. I think its a coward thing to do. I went on Google today looking for woman who have been through the same situation as me. And came across this website and I'm glad because it helped me understand things from the other side.
I've only been with my boyfriend for a year. The whole year he has cheated on me multiple times. With one of the mothers from the baseball team he coaches, woman he meet on facebook, exes I mean the list goes on and on. Including a mother/daughter duo. Its disgusting. The first one I found out I actually kept it to myself and tried to forget about it. Then it happend again and again. I'm exhausted, we have no children together. But I'm hating my self for trying so hard to make this work and nothing works. I've been married twice both times my husband cheated. Its hard to trust anyone. I asked him when I confronted him what is it that I do that all my partners cheat on me? His response was "you're too good" bullshit!!!! Im getting really tired I see that he's trying to "change" but I can't trust him. And I don't want to babysit him. I just want to be happy. I'm ready to let him go but its so hard to actually tell him and break it off. Help!

sorry, but I think you know you deserve more. she might be sorry, but you should not trust her. your pain will fade. get support from your family and friends. tell people and you will get help. good luck!

I know exactly what you're going through I am going through the exact same thing right now My wife of 17 years has cheated on me she was very sexually involved with multiple partners on the computer but swears she only met one in person and actually had sex After questioning one of her friends I found out that she had met other people in bars when I questioned her about it she swears nothing happened I cannot believe a word she says these days it has been almost two months and I do not trust her as far as I can throw her she changed all her email addresses phone numbers and anything else i asled of her she calls when at work when leaving work anytime she goes amywhere swears it was a mistake but that changes nothing about how I feel I am at a loss on what to do I do not want to continue spying on her every move but refuse to go thru this again I've asked her to tell me why it's always I needed attention I was not getting at home Bullshit no excuse ! I feel your pain and also share it we have children and grandchildren who would be devastated by a breakup but I just don't no what to do let me no how you make out I could always use some advice here to for now I'm trying to work it out but feelings of being betrayed are hard to get out of My mind

This will probably will be my worst nightmare :( sorry to head this happened to you


This is an opinion from Jakarta,Indonesia.
I wonder why western people so easliy to decide to have an affair ??
especially female western, Don't they have a shame ??
Is this true western culture or what ???

Women should have be a married guardian.
Cheating on your spouse, whatever the reason is Wrong. Absolutey wrong.
you can't put a trust on whose ever deceived you.
The only way to solve a cheating problem is DIVORCE.
If your wife ever and ever has an affair, it just like you have a marriage with a ****.
It's better to feed a **** than your slutty wife.
thank you

What a ******* nightmare....I think you HAVE to divorce her....don't be a sap....find a new love....this one is NEVER to be trusted again.

Every one is the same in the fact that once the trust is gone,its gone and never coming back. She knew the only thing that would end the relationship,and did it anyway. does this mean you didnt tell her or she didnt care,and if she didnt care before,why would she now.

Well, one of the most common issues with marriages is that people divorce part of them to fit in other person's universe by being what the other person seems to require to make a decision to marry. Most of us spend a lot of time divorcing parts and pieces of ourselves in order to care for someone else. Women, especially, divorce parts of their true being to get what they want, to basically manipulate the man into the trap. Why? Because, men loose the interest in the women who they have had around for awhile. That is what being put into women's head throughout the life. Women are told from the very young age that they should find the perfect men, marry, and have kids. Then, they are successful.This is what on women's subconscious level. That is where the problem starts. Because women have been told that men only marry women who are this, this, and that. And, shame on you, if you are being playful, sexual, and fun. So, women start divorcing those parts of them that might seem vulgar and "non-marriage material". Then, they get married and after a few years they can't keep up with the game they started. But now she is a mother too. She Can't be who she truly be with her husband, because now she is not a wife, but also a mother. The image of the perfect wife and a mother must be intact. But she is tired of not being herself. So she goes out there and finds a way to experience everything she could be with her husband (which he would absolutely love), but her points of view prevent her from that. It's easier for her to cheat that to show up in her life in front of her family, husband, kids, and friends as the true being she be. How f...ed up is that? Does she know that this is what has been happening in her universe? Most likely no. Because all of this is happening on her subconscious level. The only thing she can understand on the cognitive level is that she is bored with her life the way it is. Not that this story applies to men! Men also divorce parts of them to be with one or another woman. <br />
<br />
If you came to me for a relationship coaching session, I would start asking lots and lots of questions to surface all of the points of view she has that caused this disaster. And i would also ask lots and lots of questions to surface your points of view and beliefs. For example, one of my questions would be: "what parts of you have you divorced that allowed this to happen?" "what points of view do you have about marriage" and "who do those points of view belong to?" This is just to scratch the surface. The real one come after. But the most important part of my sessions is that I have a way to erase your points of view and assist you both in acknowledging what happened, work though it, and undo everything that is possible to be undone. I assist you in recovery and healing with special tools and give you these tools to take home for you to create a new reality, new life, new relationship. And, in most cases my couples stay together. Unless, they come to realization that they never should have gotten married. But they normally stay good friends. Sounds weird? But, it happens. <br />

I just found out that my wife has cheated on me (and our three kids) again. First time was 7 years ago and she never really told me the truth about the extent of the original betrayal. We never really got over it, i was to quick to forgive before. My only advice would be to make sure she's being 100% truthful, ask lots of painful questions, if she refuses to answer or you feel she's not being honest walk away. Trust can't be rebuilt unless your convinced she's now being completely honest.

Hello all, <br />
I'm here looking for couples who might be interested in sharing their story of infidelity and how they managed to get past it, whether they remained together or split up. <br />
<br />
Is your story one of 'Once a cheater, always a cheater, no way I'll take you back!'??<br />
Or were you able to overcome your initial disappointment, anger and disgust, to find a way past this and save your relationship??<br />
<br />
This is an opportunity to help others understand different possibilities when dealing with infidelity. Consider sharing your story, which ever way it ended up. I look forward to hearing from you.

God i so know what your going through right now :-(

its clear she is not happy with you nor with your marriage. time to set her free and to look for her own happiness and for you to move on and to look for the right wife for you.

My wife has also been unfaithful multiple times for the entire 3 years of our marriage. I have pages and pages of text messages, emails, and inappropriate pictures she took and sent to different guys. I also have phone records that indicate very lengthy conversations with other guys at odd hours. She is a preacher's daughter, and I expected much more spiritual maturity from her, but not so. One of the guys she cheated on me with was a groomsman in my wedding; a minister at my church, and a good friend. I confronted her with each case, and she denied them all. She recently got fired from her job for having inappropriate relationships with subordinates, but she is still in denial. We have been separated for five months, and her side of the family blames me for everything and does not believe that those things happened but are all fake... even the black and white text messages and pictures of her in bra and panties sent to other men. They say it's a fluke. Very sad. I'm still very distraught, but trying to move forward with my life. I'm still very much in love with her, but I deserve better. You deserve better as well my friend. Be blessed, and thanks for sharing your story and giving me the courage to share mine.

Dude, seriously, only a masochist would stay with the woman you describe....RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

Dear Antmore2012,
This is my story as well. Replace the 3 years of marriage with four. The preacher's daughter with judge's daughter and this is same as my life. Everything else is the same ..... thousand's of emails/chats to other guys , long phone calls records at odd times , compromising pics sent to Other guys ...denial even shown with all the proof....Only difference i feel is that at least her parents are convinced ( or partly convinced ) that her daughter was a cheater.

Hi there,<br />
<br />
I found out about a month ago that my wife cheated on me over 9 months with 3 guys (6 times in total). The only reason I am still around is for my 3 year old daughter.<br />
<br />
Same thing though She will change blah blah. I am sure she is just sorry coz she got caught. My friends found out and basically gave me an intervention. <br />
<br />
The problem I have is I feel if I don't leave then she just gets away with it like it never happened. I don't particulary care for her "Its not easy for me and I feel terrible and guilty" speech. Same speel been given by many cheaters over time, I am sure.<br />
<br />
I think right now I just want to sit down and talk to people who have been in my situation, not for advice but just a chat. I am not keen on the councellour idea for me but it could prove beneficial if you are comfortable with it. <br />
<br />
One of my friend went to see someone after his marriage broke down and it did wonders for him and helped him move on. <br />
<br />
Anway I can't give you anything meaning ful other your not the only one going through this. Try to look after yourself.

Please respond if you read this, I really need the advice!!!