God Never Gives You Anything You Cant Handle

My husband and i were high school sweethearts. After high school he wasnt sure what he wanted to do with his life, and decided that he wanted to go to school. With no money or support from his parents he felt is options were limited to joining the military...so thats what he did despite my objections. He left for boot camp June of 2011, eight days after i graduated from high school. Max and i were attached at the hip for three and a half years before he left me, needless to say i was broken when he left. While he was in boot camp, i reached the lowest part of my life. My boyfriend whom was my best friend for so long was no longer there to comfort me. My mother whom has always put my first, met a man and forgot about me, her "little munchkin".  My best girlfriend had her scum bag of a boyfriend that she couldnt get away from, my friends were all going to college, and me i was left with nothing and noone. I met this guy whom offered me a job where he was working. I went in for an interview, and it all went down hill from there. I began working with him regularly, going places with him, and eventually i pretty much lived with him. I ended up sleeping with this man, unfortunately. I know it doesnt make it right, but at the time he is what kept me going, he numbed my mind from everything else going on. Every night i layed in his bed i would cry myself to sleep wishing it was max, wondering where he was, what he was doing, and how much i hated myself for doing what i was doing. I let this go on for about two months and i finally felt so guilty i had to tell max. As expected he flipped out, and wanted nothing to do with me for a few days. We finally got back into touch and he came to the conclusion that he needed to see me face to face. So i went to Florida to straighten things out. Once i was back home, my routine didnt change, i was still seeing this man and staying with him at his house.....what a fool. After returning to Florida i went back to work, that week i was getting this incredible burning sensation from my genital area. Now i had had urinary tract infections before and at first thats what it felt like, so i thought i would wait it out a few more days just to see if it went away or whatever. A few days pass, and the incredible burning sensation had turned into paralyzing pain, so bad i pissed myself constantly. I though hmmm its probably time to go see the doctor to find out whats going on. Went to see the doctor, fully expecting that i had a urinary tract infection from hell....that was not the case. The next morning after seeing the doctor, i was at work taking care of customers when i get a phone call. To my surprise it was my doctor calling me back already, (they usually dont call back that quick) so i knw it wasnt going to be good news. My doctor explained to me that i had chlamydia! When those words came out of his mouth, i lost my breath for a split second, and my heart dropped into my uterus. My first reaction was, oh my gosh is it permanent? Thank god, all i neded was a prescription. Okay now that that initial thought is taken car of......what about max and the other guy? I knew it would only make things worse between me and max, which i didnt want. I have only been with two men in my life and i know i hadnt contracted it from max whom had only been with me. There was only one person to blame, the other guy whom i had trusted when he said that he gets checked regualrly and was clean.......liar. I was heart broken, i felt like a landfill, worthless, and insecure. When i told max he broke up with me and said that he just couldnt deal with all of that at the time, due to the fact that he had contracted the std from me. :( So i gave him his space as hard as it was. This right here was th lowest point of my life. I only spent more time with this other man to fill the viod and hurt. Providing me with drugs, he kept my mind numb. So anyways, max and i got back together after about two weeks of no contact, i finally realizd that what i was doing with the other guy was not the right way to deal with things and that i deserved more than him. Max and i patched things up and got married December 30, 2011. Married for five months now, max decides to tell me just last night that during the two weeks that we were apart (not in my mind) he had sex with a girl he met in the barracks next to his while he was drunk and at a hotel party. I know that gods will, will never take you where the grace of god will not protect you, but how am i supposed to get over this? I am a military wife away from all my family and friends. The one person that i have to talk to is the same person i cant stand to look at or touch right now. The image of him with that girl is haunting me and i really ned some advice as to what i should do, say, act, feel etc. Thanks for reading hope i didnt bore you too much.
Cnr176159 Cnr176159
1 Response May 6, 2012

After what you were doing you don't have the right to say anything to him....he didn't cheat on you at all but you were cheating on him and even after he tried to sort things out you continued to cheat. So with that being said don't say anything just accept it and move on or make your move and leave.