Betrayed, And He Won't Even Admit It.

My boyfriend and I had recently started seeing each other again after a breakup that I never got over. I was still in love with him, and I let him know how I felt, and we talked and worked things out, and decided to give it another shot. We were not officially dating again, but we were seeing each other and sleeping together. The first day we talked, I saw a birthday card in his room from a girl named Lucy that was kind of suspicious, but could have been simply a joke between friends. I asked him if he had been with anyone during our separation, he told me no and I believed him. So we started seeing each other, not very frequently because we both had a lot of school and work going on. I was always a little suspicious and on the lookout for signs of something happening, with the birthday card in mind. One night I used his phone to check the time and saw a text from this same girl. His phone has a lock, so i could only see the text was there, not what it said. So I asked him who he was texting all night, and he replied that it was his best friend. This bothered me. In the morning when he was in the shower, I went on his computer very quickly and saw a conversation with her on skype that involved talk of kissing and quickies. I didn't look very hard or long as I was worried about getting caught, but there did not seem to be any room for error in hat I read. I'm not sure of the exact date of the conversation, but it was within the last 30 days - which may or may not have been at the same time as we started seeing each other again. Even if it was before we started seeing each other, that would mean that he lied to me when I asked if he had been with anyone before. Also, she was clearly still texting him, I saw the text for myself. So I asked him about it. I asked him why he had lied to me about who he was texting. He insisted that he hadn't, that he had not answered that text, but refused to show me the message to prove it. He had to go to work and drove me home, so we didn't have a lot of time to talk about it. I was texting him later that day trying to get answers. Eventually he just started ignoring me, to the point of hanging up when I tried to call him. I've since found out that this girl doesn't actually go to his school like he said she does. Since he was ignoring me, I was trying to ask his friend to tell me what he knew. I haven't gotten any answers yet, on all fronts they're still insisting that nothing happened. But I feel that I have enough evidence to tell me that something did. So now I just feel betrayed and hurt on so many levels. On the one hand, there's the pain of not being with someone I love, which I wasn't able to get over last time. Then there's the pain of having been cheated on (and not just once and then they tell you about it, this is more like an affair) and betrayed by the person that I love. And then there's the fact I don't even know for sure, that I don't have any real concrete answers about what actually happened.The uncertainty is really getting to me, on top of everything else. I feel like he never even cared for me at all, if he was able to cheat and now won't even do me the courtesy of talking to me about it. I want to move on somehow, but all that is in the way. And I don't see how I'm supposed to trust anyone ever again.
emilyjessica emilyjessica
18-21, F
2 Responses May 6, 2012

Well Hun, you have two choices. You can either forgive him and continue to date him and move on with your life with him and never bring it up again or you can leave and never look back. Neither choice you make will be easy. If you chose to forgive you will most likely be forgiving a lot in the future and it will still most likely end in the future unless you are willing to have an open-relationship. Are you willing to share your significant other with others? IF so, you may just work out, if not, then don't look back. If you chose to dump him, it will not be easy at all and it will break your heart all over again. I will pray for you because you do not have an easy decision to make. Good luck Sweetie!

Trust your instincts, you are correct that he is seeing someone else and he doesn't are for you. You need to move on even though it is hard.<br />
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Good luck in recovering from the undeserving person.