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Damn the Man

Pretty much every significant relationship I have been in has been a horrible mess... they have all cheated on me... yup yup... every single one of them...

My children's father left me for a 17 year old... he was 29... she was closer to our oldest son's age than his... I find that quite amusing now but at the time it sucked... A LOT!!!  Which he and I weren't in love so I don't think much of it anymore... but it sucked at the time...

My first "love" (puppy love I should say) cheated on me... he lived in CA at the time and I was in HI so I guess I couldn't blame him for being lonely... but still...

My boyfriend now... well, he cheated on me too... I understand why he cheated on me now that we are in counseling... which doesn't excuse it in any way but I understand why it happend... he's actually the only guy that I would have even imagined taking back after what he did to me... but I also know that I love him more than I have loved any man... so that may explain it...

I'm not happy about any of these events and they have ALL shaped me in some way... I've become more jaded and less trusting than before (which wasn't much to begin with)... but I also know that life isn't perfect and you learn from everything that happens in your life... even the worst of the worst... it's life... it sucks... and it doesn't feel good at all... but at least I can say I loved and I did my part... that helps ease the pain a little...

phidget phidget 31-35, F 5 Responses May 23, 2008

Your Response


You do realize that the common denominator in all of these relationships.. is you.

And if you have issues trust.. then you attract untrustworthy people into your life. Because.. we attract what we put out.

Why do you have trust issues to begin with? Have you explored that in counselling? Instead of trying to understand why he cheated... maybe exploring why you attracted him to you in the first place would be a better option?

How far back do your trust issues go? Who betrayed your trust first? A parent? Your dad? Who?

For me, it was my Uncle sexually abusing me, starting when I was 4 years old. But I have dealt with and healed that part of my life so now.. I attract different kinds of people to me.

I don't understand cheating. How can you not respect your loved one enough to not screw other people when you are in a relationship. It simply baffles me. People fall in love with others even though they are in a relationship, sure. Why people can't just break up and get on with their lives is what angers me so. Either they want to have a cake and eat it too or they have no respect for the bond they share or the feelings they're hurting. Both of which are childish and immature reasons.

You deserve better.

What reasons did he had to cheated on you?

I'm hoping #4 for you isn't like 1,2 and 3

in the state of GA as long as the parents give consent then its ok... he married her when she turned 18... HAH!