My Husband Had A 2yr Affair

My husband of 17 yrs was having a 2 yr affair ! I feel so dumb for not even realizing something was wrong! I caught him in January and he broke it off with her, they work together which is even worse! He doesnt seem like he is sorry in fact he acts like nothing ever happened! He told me he was in love with her and that he was thinking of leaving me for her, he said he never felt guilty about the affair but yet he couldnt break it off with her because he felt guilty for her because he was leading her on ! He has recently told me he misses her and is trying to get over feelings he has for her ! But of course he loves me and wants to save our marriage ! I dont feel he is being 100% honet with me, I ask him things and its always I dont remember or he acts like it was nothing! He also downplays everything which kills me tells me the sex was no big deal etc... I am trying to get over this but I dont know how I really need some advice
mizled033 mizled033
36-40
5 Responses May 15, 2012

I just found out my wife of 10 has been having a 2 year affair. I trusted her and work a lot. We have 2 sons. Its been 1 week today and I cant function and have missed work. I am doubled over in pain. when will this end...

I know what you are going through my husband had an 3 year affair and we been together for 25 years. It is hurtful as hell and nobody should ever fill that way. I'm dealing with this the best that i can it's hard because my husband works with her to. Your mind starts to wonder if they are sneaking off for lunch or to get a hotel room. If your marriage is worth saving then go for it. Make him regret that he ever cheated on you go out with your friends and look hot as hell. Just start doing things that will get his attention.

So his coping mechanism is to shut down and downplay everything. He's acting like it's not a big deal. Like u should get over it ? : / That would anger me to no end. I'm guessing he's kind of making u feel like u r crazy? While u r not crazy. He is belittling u at the worst time possible. I hope u two can go to counseling so he can truly understand what he is done to u. The sooner the better. The longer this goes on the more hurt and betrayed u will feel. And then no amount of apologizing will suffice. He could get on his hands and knees and beg for forgiveness and it will mean nothing. I don't wish for u to feel this way. So I hope u guys can get that counseling. I know 17yrs is a long time to be in a relationship with someone, but u deserve better than this situation. Good luck!

I am so sorry for what you are going through :,( I wish I could hold you.<br />
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Um, nothing weird but I am 19 male. If you ever need someone to talk to/rant/vent about anything. Or just to chat, call or text me at 1 408 772 8919. I know I am young but I could try to give some input? You seem like a very strong woman so if you want to talk, just text or call and tell me who you are?

AM sorryto hear that, i understand you. How are things with you and him know?

Things are not good ! I feel so betrayed and angry, of course now that he has been caught he wants me that is a joke