Cheating, Spying And Getting CaughtMy wife had a so called emotional affair with someone over a 3 month period in a car while going to and back from work daily. They were in the car together for about 2 hours total a day. They ended up holding hands, pulling to the side of the road and kissing a handful of times. No sex, described to me as over the clothes touching by both of them as I ended up confronting the man as well.
I caught them through some spying as I suspected something was up because she was so secrative about her blackberry. Broke into it and saw they would express love for each other through code and then recorded some of their car rides, hearing the kissing and words of love for each other.
Now she is begging for us to stay together, saying none of that with him meant nothing, it was not real, can't really explain why, is regretfull and remorsefull , hates herself for doing what she did and wants us to be together forever promising undying love for me and this will never happen again. We are still together but I am struggling to get past this. Any advice? Our relationship prior for the most part was fine, not perfect but we had and still have a very good life with two young children.
I just don't know how to cope with my wife telling another man she was in love with him and doing the things she did. I'm fully depressed. I love her like no other prior to this, put her on a pedastal. Now I am struggling to find that same feeling. Anyone go through the same and get passed it, if so how? Thank you
UPDATE 1 YEAR LATER
Thanks everyone for the feedback. It's been nearly a year since I caught my wife cheating (Feb 18/12) and I still feel lost, dazed and confused.
We are still together and she has become the perfect wife, which I thought she was before the cheating occurred but she is still remorseful and doing everything in her power to get past this and be together forever.
Problem is, I've forgiven but can't seem to forget. She told another man she loved him, gave him her love and she accepted his love. But she continues to tell me it was only words and meant nothing. Hearing that hurts as well, if she is capable of just saying that to another man and not mean it, could she not do the same with me? How did you forget the details to live without hurt, pain?
It aches thinking about it and can't seem to stop thinking about it. Does the pain ever end? Anyone who got past a similar situation staying with your spouse, how did you do it?
lost143 41-45 58 Responses 5 Jun 20, 2012