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I Was Cheated On While I Was Pregnant...awful

I was about five months pregnant with my daughter and I invited my friend Kim over to a barbecue at our house.You see Kim and I are friends because she has a daughter with my ex-husband whom we both left because of abuse and hate him mutually.We both had children with him you see.My two oldest children were by my ex-husband and when we got divorced he met Kim and they had a little girl together.Because we both have full custody of our children I reached out to her and thought we should develop a friendship so the children could keep in touch as they are all brother and sisters.Things had been good between her and I because we found we had so much in common.Anyway, I had her and her daughter over for the cookout and everyone started to get pretty intoxicated besides me(hello I am pregnant at this point).So I told her I would take all the kids in the house(including her daughter) and told her to just stay the night because I didn't want her driving.I set up the guest bedroom for her and then put the Little Mermaid on for all the kids.When I noticed they were all fast asleep I carried each one to bed and went outside to the fire to say goodnight.I noticed Kim and my husband were sitting next to each other but I didn't think anything of it at the time.I said goodnight to everyone and kissed my husband and went to bed.Well I found out about two weeks later from Kim(out of guilt she says) that while I was asleep her and my husband went into the bedroom where she was sleeping(right across the hall from where I was sleeping...brave huh?) and made out and did everything besides intercourse.I was devastated to know this happened in my home after I had trusted her, reached out to her, babysat free for her, etc.I ended up making the decision to stay and to not let it come between her and I for our children's sake.We continue to this day to stay in touch but I have a hard time trusting her.I have forgiven her in my own way because they were both drunk and I honestly believe she wouldn't have done this except for as drunk as she was.She usually never drinks so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.My husband and I have since parted ways recently as this incident happened almost three years ago but he cheated more than just this time I found out later.It hurts very much when you love someone so much, especially when you are pregnant with his child.He now has a girlfriend who easily ways 400 pounds and smells horribly, I don't know what he sees in her but he cheated on me with her at the end as well.She can have him.He'll do the same to her I am sure.He screwed me over big time which is another story you are welcomed to read about on my page.I believe once a cheater always a cheater and if you are a bad person...that's just it.You are and probably always will be a bad person.I got him back though.LOL!When we split up everyone of his friends except one asked me out.They all told me I was beautiful and deserved better than him and wondered why I ever put up with him.After all I had put up(every kind of abuse imaginable) with I decided to go on a few dates and it killed him.He still to this day wants details and has gotten into physical altercations with two of them.I keep the details to myself knowing nothing but dinner and a movie ever happened but I like to let his imagination get the best of him because that's what he deserves.Needless to say he lost four friends and I gained them as mine.We all still stay in touch and watch as his life slowly falls into alcoholism and anger which causes him more self-destruction.I wish him luck because sad as it is I am still completely in love with him.I can't be with him and I know it but I still miss him sooo much.It's strange because it seems the worse a man treats you, pushes you around, cheats, etc.The more you want and need to hear they love you...and you deserved better.One day I hope to finally meet a man who will treat me like a princess and heal my broken heart but until that day comes, sadly I will spend my days missing the times we shared.
maivelz maivelz 31-35, F 6 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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I know the feeling: he did it while I was 7 months pregnant and I discovered this two days ago. Now I have a beautiful baby picking up broken pieces of my heart. Like you, the person he talked to was not attractive at all. I find it interesting how a woman would want to talk to someone who is married, disrespecting the bond their marriage holds together. The difference between your story and mine is that I have lost me: the self confidence, the self esteem, the happiness, the love, the strong sense of self, and just me. The need to live and hope comes from taking care of my newborn baby and that's about it. I want to fix myself but am finding it very hard. I am at the point where I realize that crying will not help change time and what he has done. I am just well....I don't know what I am.

Just because you love someone does not mean they are good for you. I am so sorry he hurt you this way dear. You are right you deserve far better and will have it. Stay positive especially for the children my dear.

u know humans are sick and sometimes maybe u can also step in the zone and make the wild a bit more wilder

Sometimes it's not that we want them after the way they treat you- it can be just why he would want that trash when we have such a beautiful family. I remember goin through phases and only recently stopped after discovering EP and the support of always trying to dress up, look good everytime we went out in case we bumped into whoever he's communicating with at the moment....it wasn't until one day a few weeks ago I was out shopping with my daughter an I saw this one women walk out of a fast food place in 4 inch heels short dress etc. that I realized I don't wanna be that way. She my not have had a motive for being dressed up for - guy shopping or arm candy mode to her man. But seeing that woman made me realize- I want to be with someone whose eyes aren't gonna be wandering because it was a sweats day. I want to wear whatever I want and not have to watch my husband eyeing others or others trying to flirt with. Now if I decide to look nice it will be for myself not because I have to keep my husband interest- life is just too short to keep that up. H should love me for me as I mature, get older, and wiser. You don't need to hear he loves you- sometimes you just think really- her? And you want to know why. Unfortunately many times they cannot tell us why because hey can't even recognize why.

Amongst the things that kill me is the question why? why leave me for her? why cheat? What does she have that I don't? Why treat me this way? Why? that's the question that is killing me these days the most. You can not imagine how much I put into the marriage 100% in everything seriously. I overlooked the flaws, the fights, the bad days, the anger problems, and yet, here I am, crying my eyes off wondering why?It is so frustrating when you don't get a straight answer when you need it the most. Why not just say: Hey I don't want you anymore I found someone else sorry. byebye see you later, let's be friends blah blah blah and just walk away. Why hurt the person you love? While she's pregnant with your baby after trying so much. uggggggh

Not unlike you, I just found out after 27+ years of marriage, my wife had been cheating with her uncle by marriage, before we'd met, while we dated, and through two of our three pregnancies, and possibly after our third child arrived. She admitted to at least 10 meetings, many details, then when I began to tell her how shocked I was, she denied anything happened at all, and has now admitted to two meetings. Talk about numb.

Wow. I hope you find someone who would treat you the way you should be treated.