Terrible Summer

My Story -

My husband and I have been married for 15 years and have 3 children together. I thought we had a good marriage. I admit, I was caught up in the hustle and bustle of taking care of the kids, house, and working. I didn't give enough time and attention to my husband. Rather than talking to me and telling something was wrong (he now tells me I just should have known), I find out he's been having an affair with someone he works with for almost a year.

I found out over a month ago, and things have been terrible. He has told me 4 times that it is over with her, but I end up finding e-mails to her and trips with her etc etc. Each time he tells me he loves me and wants to work it out, but I think it is like an addiction with him. Actually, I'd like to think that it is just sex with her, but in the e-mails that I find he tells her he loves her and will leave me.

She is very different from me. I am petite, blonde, and somewhat shy. She is very outgoing, voluptuous, and emotional.

I know that he is having a hard time dealing with this and making a decision. I keep taking him back and believing what he tells me. After all, I have 3 kids, and I love him. Besides, I feel that it is partly my fault. If I had only realized that he needed more I would have given it to him before he met her.

I don't know what to do - give him time to decide, leave him, love him? Anyone with advice?

Thanks.