My 12 Years Of Love And Care Is All A Lie.

I met a boy when I was 14. Lost my virginity to him. We spent 3 years together in high school and had some rough times but also great ones, I was utterly and totally in love. When high school was over, he moved to another country to take his university education. I stayed back, our relationship kept on going although long-distance, and after 4 years I moved to his country just to be with him. We spent 2 years more together and then got engaged. 1 year later we got married. I am now a woman, 28 years of age, married for 2 years, and I started getting suspicious about his behaviour. I forced him to confess, and well, here's what it is:

He cheated on me with 3 different girls, emotionally and physically. He had sex with them more than once. One of them was when we were still in high school, two were when he was alone in his new country. With two of them he had a one year long relationship. He had tens of girls that he kissed at parties, and one of them was in July 2012. He swears this was the only event he had since I moved in together with him.

How do I feel now? I have no life, no hope, my whole past is filled with lies and future does not hold anything good. I do not believe in anything, or anyone, and I want to go have sex with all the men I have ever dreamed of but kept myself because I was involved in a relationship.

I cannot breathe, I cannot eat, I am unable to live.

This cannot be my life.
fullofdisappointment fullofdisappointment
3 Responses Sep 19, 2012

As for the last part of your post I felt the same way when I found out about my wife's affair. All I can say is that you will be able to eat again, breathe and life does go on. Hold your head up this is not your fault. Do not blame yourself what ever you do. Best wishes and good luck.

I am in a very similar situation right now, recently finding out that the past few years have been based on lie after lie and I did not suspect a thing. He was living a double life. Right now, I have not gotten out of bed except for when a friend took me to the doctor because I was shaking and hyperventilating so bad, so now I am on medication to calm me, but it is not helping much. I do not even know how to be just me anymore because my life became him and I, we were a team. I just keep trying to tell myself that everyday that goes by, is one day closer to being able to move forward with my life, however that may happen. Hugs. You are not alone.

i'm sorry to read that....been there before....