Venting All Day Every Day

YOU KNOW...the person who came back home to me after supposedly working out of state...but instead was having an affair...is not the same person who left....my husband was not a smoker or a drinker...and now he is both...not to say anything is wrong with those things...but i am just stating that that was not who my husband was ...he loved the Lord and tried to live accordingly....i rarely...very rarely see him reading the Bible anymore...he used to do that daily...in all honesty...I am not attracted to this new person....he is somewhat arrogant...very self-involved and selfish....everything he has done since he came back....has been selfish and self-serving ...i have been used until there is now nothing left ...i wonder now do i even love him..this new person...and i really think the answer is no.....i love my husband and in all honesty....this new dude is only familiar...he looks like and sounds like my husband ..but his actions are total opposite of the MAN i fell in love with...my husband ....I love my husband ...I am still in love with my husband ....I do not love and i am not in love with this new dude....and he is not in love or love me either,,,,I think i am mourning the death of my marriage....the fact that my HUSBAND left home and never returned....that the true "him" is still trapped somewhere out of state...and in his place...this new "dude" has entered....i don't want him....honestly...i want him to leave...she...the one he had an affair with ....she really deserves this dude....the liar, the cheater...the manipator and the user....she will never really get to see the once beautiful, sincere..honest...loving..understanding and man of God that he used to be....because that is no longer who he is ....



SIDEBAR: u may comment if u want...these are just my random thoughts that i have all day every day of my life....
deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Dec 3, 2012

If you haven't read up on midlife crisis (it can happen around 40) please give it some consideration. Its very much like an alien has taken over the person you used to know. The person you used to know may return or may not. If you haven"t moved on by then, and they do return, it's up to you whether you want them back depending on what they've become. My heart goes out to you. I've been where you are. But if he is still physically in your life and God is part of that life too...there's always hope!