It's Normal??? No It's Not!!

I recently discovered that my now ex-boyfriend had officially cheated on me. I was angry, hurt, numb, scared. I have been with him for over 7 years. I gave him 100% of my heart and my youth! My self-esteem is crushed, I have no trust for anyone. I wanted his Mother to know the true reason we broke up and I left our conversation astounded! She believes that all men cheat. That there are no good men out there and your relationship depends on how you handle he infidelity!! I was bewildered! She told me to have pride in myself to not let the 'other woman' know you know! That the woman will see you and walk the other way out of shame, not you. Is this really what the world is coming to?? Is it truly acceptable for men to cheat, and sleep around?? What about love, and loyalty, honoring one another? What about diseases? Unplanned pregnancy? What about promises??? This is not what I want for my future children! It disgusts me when I turn on the tv and watch a story about a woman who was cheated on, so in her new relationship she openly lets the man have casual sex to fulfill his animal-listic tendencies. I'm a very open minded person, but this is not right! She was in a monagamous relationship before and obviously believed in it, she's only allowing he partner to sleep around to avoid being hurt...In my opinion she has given up. This only makes the road harder for the women growing up behind her that want a monogamous relationship. Why is it so hard for men to stick with one person???
JustNumbMaybeAngry JustNumbMaybeAngry
2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

I can totally relate. I spoke of my situation with someone two days ago in secret and she responded calmly by saying the same thing: "That's normal all men cheat." What the??? that's not acceptable. Then why have marriages in the first place? are promises and bonds and vows meaning nothing to people nowadays. She told me this like I'm supposed to know this by heart. Like I am not supposed to be in shock. It's all real. What ???? Why does a man cheat? it's not right. I have to live with the fact that he impregnated her and that's alright?!!that's not fair to me. especially when I gave birth to his child. I don't trust anyone either because of what happened with him: he told me he loved me. what I am so realizing now is that he had trust issues with me which I could never figure out: well now I know why. I don't know why is it acceptable to people the notion that "all men cheat."

So sorry to hear that you had to go through this! At least you weren't married, imagine how much harder to deal with when you are married, and with children. His Mom, she gave you bad advice. It's good that you are no longer with that family. I believe there are good men out there! But I also believe that men are wired differently from females. They have needs and weaknesses, and if they don't put up the right guards, even the best men can fail. So, understand that yes, there are good men out there. But also, no man is perfect. What they don't act out, they may be thinking about. And it's what they do with those thoughts that matters. Hang in there!