Im Crushed, But Still In Love.

Im a 37 year old male...extremely happy in my relationship of 5 years. Have a 6 year old step daughter and 3 year old son. Im super dad, love the kids. A little over a month ago, my partner who I adore said she needed some space to find herself and refind the love. I was destroyed and devastated... I do everything for her and the kids.... Reluctantly I agreed, she got a flat 5 minutes away, and left the kids with me...... What did I do wrong? have I been a **** husband? many quetions and no answers....... Then BOOM!.... she comes home to my house in the middle of the night...crying and a little bruised, I ask whats wrong...she wont say, cuddles up and goes to sleep. In the morning I go to work as normal.... I text to see how she is and get only weird and cryptic replies... I sart to worry, whilst contacting her mother for help I decide to head home, ....... She has dropped the kids at school, come home and tried to OD on sleeping pills!...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!.......... luckily she is ok, and next day she is back to good health....WHY?..... Turns out she has been cheating on me with a guy she met on the internet, she was bruised that night because she walked in to his house and found him cheating on her!... fight ensued and she got knocked about.... I love her so very badly and have said I want to start again with a clean slate, Im desperately unhappy at the moment but am hoping for a better year. She has a lot of issues to work through and isnt sure she want me... I know she loves me, but its all a bit much. I need her and want her in my life.

help anyone?
frowning frowning
2 Responses Dec 31, 2012

You are at a point where you need to make a decision. Your SO cheated on you, got beat up and came home to what she perceives as security. She tried to commit suicide and that is a real wake up call for you both. You want to start with a clean slate, but that will NEVER happen because you know of her infidelities and her willingness to sleep around rather than work the issues out with you. Your SO said she needed space and a chance to re-find her love. This is going to be tough to accept: She has already made her decision and unfortunately it does include you in the picture. Look at her actions without emotion, do they indicate a willingness to work things out. I feel for you because I have been in the same type of position before.

Please think about what has happened in a logical manner without love goggles on. Evaluate what she did, her actions, and if she is truly being sincere and open with you.

Some may see her attempted suicide as a cry for help, some may see it as a sign of massive guilt. Some may see it as a form of manipulation to keep you in the picture. You really need to find out which of the three above fits with what you see in her.

I am so sorry that your life has been disrupted by your partner's actions. As you can see, she has no regard for your feelings, so what makes you think she wants to make things right again? I really hope your relationship works out and that her deed, albeit, a bad thing....was a one time thing! Maybe she had some things going on that she couldn't quite get off her chest and turned to the internet for comfort. It's sad she gained a little more than comfort in the process of figuring out whatever crap she's dealing with, but if you two work hard and is determined to get things back to the way they were.....then nothing will stop you from regaining what was lost! If the relationship does not make it, you have to remember that you didn't do anything wrong....she is the one who gave up and went elsewhere while you stuck by her and the kids. I know you're still in love with her, but you can't make a person remain in one spot if they're intent on leaving!!!