Can I Forgive A One Night Stand?

My boyfriend of 3 years slept with another woman on New Year's Eve. We were apart, and he'd been drinking since midday, and went out to a club around 1pm. His friends left him alone, and he found himself isolated with a woman much older than him, in her 30s (he's 23). He says that everything happened very quickly, and I don't know if he went back to her place or if it happened there, but he says that he pulled out halfway, but obviously it was too late. He told me one day after it happened, hoping that his honesty would lead to forgiveness.

We have had such a perfect relationship, and love each other so much. I want to forgive him, but I feel that if I forgive him too soon it will send the wrong message to him, and I won't be respecting myself. I'm also so ashamed to tell my friends or family what's happened.

Is one indiscretion forgivable? I need to say that early on in our relationship he told me that he's been hooking up (not sleeping with) other girls at nightclubs. I broke up with him immediately, and we were apart for 8 months. I hadn't realised that he had serious emotional problems following on from his ex-girlfriend, and I managed to forgive him for it. But it has cast a dark light on this recent indiscretion. I want to forgive him, and I believe his regret and commitment to change the pattern of behaviour that led to this, but I feel like our entire relationship has been a cycle of him messing up, and me forgiving him. How long can this go on for?
Secilia2 Secilia2
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

his **** doesn't just land in a vagina.