Cheated

It started about 7 months ago while i was at school (college). I got a call from my best friend asking if i knew that my fiance was at another guys house. I did not. So i tried to call her and no answer. I called the guys number that we were with. (He was a friend of my best friend but they grew apart in time.) Anyway the guy didnt answer so i tried my fiance again and she answered. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was at this guys house. i asked her why she lied to me. (she earlier texted me that she was going to sleep). She told me that she forgot to text me. She FORGOT to text her fiance of 1.5 years. I was with this girl for almost 4 years and she just forgot about me. Well i let that go. I didnt break up with her cause i still loved her. Then about 1 month after she wanted to text this guy that she hung out with. And for about a month i stayed strong and said no. Then after weeks of fighting and wanting the fighting to stop i told her that she could text him. But of course that wasnt enough she wanted my permission to hang out with the guy. Not trusting the guy she wanted to hang out with i said no. And she kept asking and i stayed with my no. Well i finally told her that i wanted the asking to stop. So she stopped. This is now 5 after this all started. Now a month ago. She finally told me the truth that she never even tried to sleep and that she purposely went behind my back to hang out with the guy which made me mad but what made me even more angry about her lying is the night before i found out she was hanging out with this guy i let her hang out with this guy. So when she told me the truth about not sleeping thats when i broke it off. After 2 weeks of being broken up i find out from the guys sister that she was cheating on me for atleast 9 months with this guy. And now after a month of being broke up im depressed and i do not want to sleep in fear of dreaming of her. i have no idea what to do at all and it sucks.
SamHiggins SamHiggins
18-21, M
1 Response Jan 20, 2013

Dude, I've been there.

You think someone is doing great with you, you think they are the "One" for you; but then **** goes down hill.

"Why don't you trust me?"
"You're just jealous that I'm having a male friend."
"He is just a friend."

Heard that before? So have I. And so have a lot of other dudes(and ladies) in your situation. Though yours is unique because it is your situation, the feelings, thoughts, and pain that you are going through are... well... sadly... normal.

Yeah, the pain you feel; the one where you are clutching at your chest at night, where you break down and cry when just a minute ago you were laughing at something funny, how it is difficult to enjoy certain activities or even think of certain future events just seem pointless... Yeah, it is all normal and unfortunately... you have to go through it.

It is a rite of passage, my man. Though you are in pain, you are still breathing and that is the important aspect. That will keep you going. Because of that, you will have a better Life ahead of you.

You will dream about her. Thoughts about her with the other guy will become the norm... but think of this: If she didn't let you go, and had to hold on to you and this other guy at the same time... is she really worth it? Is she worth going through all this pain?

It's probably a little too early to see that, but in time, the pain gradually lessens, until you wake up and realize, you are still alive and there are people, places, and things right now you can be grateful for. May not seem like that at first, I tell ya, but it will come to light.

There are many topics out there that cover this and I know you just wanted to hear another human being's personal advice to you. There is nothing that I could say or do to you for the pain to go away. That's up to you. But once you have conquered this, I guarantee you, man... you will be going places and she'll see you one day and say 'I can't believe I let him go'... and the funny thing is? You won't care that she noticed how great you are and regretted her decision. You are just too damn busy being truly the greatest human being she'll never get to know.

For more help, watch 'Swingers' with Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, and Ron Livingston. Hell, watch clips of it on Youtube. You'll know the scenes I'm talking about once you watch it.

thank you very much that helps