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I Have Been Cheated On

No Idea Where To Go From Here

By: concernedspouse
Written on January 25th, 2013
My husband cheated on me. Had a full on life with someone else. I got over it twice and moved on. The problem is the second time it didn't end when he said it did.
My husbands job transfers him. Last time I didn't go with he moved in with another girl, I learned my lesson.

My story is about the 2nd time. I found out, I gave him an ultimatum. He chose me. He has always chosen me.This is our 10th year of marriage.
I choose to get past the infidelity. He was transferred I go first to get everything settled hoping to find a home and make the move easier. I even had 2 jobs. He gets up here and I find out he's still "leading her on".3 months or more after I thought it was over. She lived with him till the day he moved. She went this last Christmas to his mothers with her kids for a week. They spent Thanksgiving together in their ****** trailer park, my sister was there. I feel betrayed by everyone, especially my sister. I can't trust him at his mothers they condone his cheating, obviously. I can't even trust my own sister. He has been home for a month. I hurt everyday. I feel ill. I just don't know what to do, or how to move on. To him it's like it never happened and it doesn't even matter.
The worst part? I still love him.
By: concernedspouse
Age: 31-35
164 people have read this story

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5 responses
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    Browngyrl214
    Browngyrl214

    Wow I feel your hurt, betrayal is I can't even begin to explain the pain of it, but your sister, now thats where I draw the line. they say blood is thicker than water (obviously not). I'm sure you love your sister as we all do; however, why would she think any part of being around him and his infidelity is ok. That woman we'll call her better be glad I'm not your sister because that's just too bold for me and I wouldn't have been able to contain myself I would've beat the living crap out of both of them on the spot.

    Jan 31
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    thecheatedonISMOVINGON
    thecheatedonISMOVINGON

    I am soooo sorry for this...I can truly say...I understand...been there ...done that ...still there...my husband cheated too...and the betrayal..the lies...it is just sooo freaking over-whelming ...I really don't know what to say...wish I could say something to ease the pain a little....I do know that in time..things get better or at least some-what better...It has now been 7 months since I found out and 4 months since he ceased all contact with "her"....but just because he has ceased all contact with "her" doesn't mean that my mind has ceased to work...I am constantly thinking about crap...crap that I don't want to think about....It is hard as hell...but it will get somewhat better...I am definitely in a much much better place than I was 7 months ago...I am focusing more now...on the positive things that I have gained from this whole crappy situation....it brought me and my mom closer...I found myself again ...meaning...I started taking better care of me and not feeling guilty for it...and I have gotten even stronger...though I still feel weak sometimes..so I guess my point is ...hold on...keep pushing and moving forward....start working and focusing more on you...remember ,,,,each day you get stronger and stronger...so just keep going...you can message me if you ever need to talk...believe me ...I get it...hope u have a good morning ;-)

    Jan 31
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    xxxo222
    xxxo222

    You can love a person who you have an unhealthy relationshop with. You must find the strength to break the tie and move on. He is abusing you and as long as you take his abuse he will keep doing it. He does not know the meaning of love. Let him go. Save yourself. Love yourself.

    Jan 26
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    Colormevibrant
    Colormevibrant

    Wow. Hon, I am so sorry! Yours sounds like a terrible situation! What does your husband SAY to you about the other relationship? Have you ever met/spoken to the other woman? What does your sister say about it? Was this someone he dated before you two met and married? It's awful to be so in love with someone, but be on the receiving end of that kind of emotional abuse.

    Your narrative raises so many questions, it's tough to offer answers, but for what it's worth, I hope your hubby comes to his senses and things work out for you!

    Jan 25
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      concernedspouse
      concernedspouse

      He doesn't say much, now that he is ready he wants to move past it and any questions are me " trying to fight". No he didn't know her before, she was just "some girl" I have net her she knew about our marriage and refers to me only as a cow and *****, she is very childish. My sister only says she didn't know I would want to know and they didn't act like they were together. Meanwhile the other girl has a pic of them making out that my sister is in.
      He goes back and forth from he never cared to she treated him well. Just depends on if he is mad at me what he says

      Jan 25
      1 like