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I Have Been Cheated On

Oh Does It Hurt.

By: Berttheturtle
Written on February 19th, 2013
After 13 years she cheated on me. I was with her since high school,heck I um...." became a man"with her. Between our long history and her general lack of affection that developed,I never thought she would cheat on me..but she did. She withdrew from me the same month my mother died. Because my wife claimed "didnt know herself". I was supportive of her needing time...but as time went on,I knew what was going on. But she wouldn't admit it. Even after she made me move out,she wouldn't admit it. When she finally did,October 30th...I wasnt even surprised. I could understand if this guy was younger or better looking than I. But he wasnt.

I feel so unwanted,so worthless,and it hasn't gotten better. Needless to say,the man in question stayed withhis wife,so my wife ended up with nothing....and she is going nuts over it,literally. Who does she call to talk things over with? Me! So I spend time trying to make her better,and convince her she wasn't used. (Honestly,it doesn't look that way to me. I wish it was though.) does karma ever pay off? I want to move on,but I don't think anyone will want me at this age. She took our daughter,my car,my money and my self respect and dignity. I was so loyal to her,I don't even know how to speak to another woman.
By: Berttheturtle
Age: 31-35 , Male
239 people have read this story

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11 responses
  • CalebMadison2
    CalebMadison2

    I am 35 years old whos husband of 16 years who is the only man ive ever been with had an affair with a 21 year old.I know how you feel.One stop codling your ex wife.She is not your responsibility anymore.You are your responsibility.You can not recover if you are worrying about her.You need to tell her that she needs to figure out her stuff on her own.She made that decision when she took everything from you.Secondly make life changes,for example I started working out and lost 24 pounds and got a new hair cut all of these things slowly but surely start to make me feel better about myself.Yes I am still with my husband trying to work it out.It happened 3 months ago,Yes I am still confused and upset and feeling all the same things your feeling.You are unable to move on because you are still trying to take care of her.When she calls it needs to be just about your daughter and nothing else.If you truly want to move on.If not and you want to work things out with her see if that's an option,but she needs to be remorseful and realize that it is purely her fault and she needs to take full responsibility for her actions and realize it was wrong and to avoid allowing it to happen again.

    Mar 7
    2 likes
    • Berttheturtle
      Berttheturtle

      Only 3 months ago? You are handling it well! 3 months in I was staring blankly at a wall wondering what just happened. In recent time she and I have really sort have stopped talking about her problems. I finally told her I was tired of finally being good enough for her to turn to,now that she lost her new man. It's hard being as stern with her as I should be,since this whole thing went down,she's now on psych meds. As much dislike as I feel towards her, it's too close to kicking a man when he's down. I'd like to think I'm too good to do that. The life changes sounds like a plan. I have the time,I should do like they do in prison,work out all the time.

      Mar 11
      1 like
  • harddragon
    harddragon

    tell her that she needs to grow up that you still love her but she blow it! and now it was shot in her face he just wants to **** her and leave her alone

    Feb 19
    2 likes
    • Berttheturtle
      Berttheturtle

      I think that is exactly it. She needs to grow up,in spite of being older than I am,and being the dominate one in our relationship. I almost think she tried fixing us through this other man. He and his wife are eerily similar to me an my ex. Maybe at its core,It was just sex to him. I hope it was,as that is easier to handle. He actually flew her up to see him. He lives in jersey,we live in Florida. She's going to have to do some serious trying if she wants me back,as I can't trust her at all.

      Feb 20
      1 like
  • SLICK1111
    SLICK1111

    **** her, go out and nail anything that moves, bang the guys wife who banged yours and after you ahve nailed a few chicks start bangin you wife again only treat her like the **** she is. get her to do ********** do all the stuff you can to here anal, oral take pictures of her if you want. then dump her ***. the real issue is your confidence is gone, start banging other chicks and you will get it back. do not be to selective nail anything comes your way it is the only way you will start feeling better and start forgetting her

    Feb 19
    2 likes
    • Berttheturtle
      Berttheturtle

      Mr slick,you've got the idea I'm going for. I need to regain that which was lost. 13 years of marriage to a rather overbearing and controlling woman has taken my confidence right away. A little domination is good,but not in every facet of life!

      Feb 19
      1 like
    • SLICK1111
      SLICK1111

      just start dating other girls and you will be fine, let her know you are dating it will kill her. you need to regain control of your life and rebuild your confidence. confidence matters more the anything. women are attracted to confiednt men. that is why you sometimes see ugly dudes with super hot chicks. good luck

      Feb 20
      1 like
    • Berttheturtle
      Berttheturtle

      For sure,and that's something I don't have,or at least appear to have. I've had a stutter since I was like...8,so it always seems like I'm nervous. I've met a few women at shows. (Music shows) but have yet to really make anything of it.

      Feb 20
      1 like
  • dawnmarie02
    dawnmarie02

    I agree im left the victim and he moves on he uses dating sites and has had one girl friend aftet another dont these women do back ground checks he's wife beater,alcoholic vain womanizer I am over him but I lost everything I worked so hard for this big Loser"

    Feb 19
    2 likes
    • Berttheturtle
      Berttheturtle

      That is terrible. I don't know how people can hit their spouse. Even when I found out,as mad as I was..that thought never came to mind. Even though you got the short end of the stick,you're way better off without such a person. My wife gets a social life while I get to ask to borrow my own car from her. It's like I'm a teenager again,only my boyish good looks are gone and I don't have acne!

      Feb 19
      1 like
    • Berttheturtle
      Berttheturtle

      I certainly don't go too far out of my way for her anymore. I remain sociable to her,even friendly. But she doesn't seem interested in working to get me back. She is currently in therapy,so she is focused on her. I'm still giving her time before moving out of town,but I am actively looking for someone else and she is aware of this.

      Feb 20
      1 like