Getting Past the Hurt of Being Cheated On

Here is my story. My husband was a football coach for a Christian high school. He mentored a young man on the team whose mom was a single parent. Long story short. I had a feeling this was going too far. My worse nightmare came on christmas eve that year. He admitted he was cheating on me and that she might be pregnant (at 48) and did not know if was going to stay with me and our 5 children. A couple of days before the new year he wanted to spend the weekend apart. He spent 1 night away called and said he could not be without me. I guess she was using the pregnancy to try to trap him. (not pregnant) I have since forgiven him and he has been a wonderful husband and father for the last year and a half. Does anyone share in my problem? I still have bad moments. I want to confront her.(I'm sure she has moved on to the next sucker)I can't stand her, I still have very angry moments, I afraid to let my guard down - because I will never be hurt like that again. I guess I want her to suffer like I have. I am getting better as time goes on and my husband has been great. He even bought me a new wedding ring set because he said he tarnished the old ones. Does it ever go away? How long? (yes I did do some counseling) UPDATE: Our marriage is fantastic. We have both learned some things about ourselves and each other. I almost feel sorry for her now. We saw her out in public - with some other guy (wondering if he was married also).  She just gave us dirty looks. I want anyone out there to know that you can get past it. I really don't give her a second thought any more. I only focus on moving ahead with my family and I could not ask for anything more! Life is full of choices. I had to choose to move on from this and only focus on what my life is like now. (great husband, great family)

tooloving tooloving
36-40, F
7 Responses Jul 9, 2007

I wouldn't confront her about it. There's not much point to it, because she has not wronged you. She made no oath to you, swore no faith to you, and is not married to you. Your husband is.

In other words, the only betrayal is the one he committed. The Other Woman doesn't matter and should be beneath your notice.

That's great!! Thanks for sharing.

Don't let your husband off the hook so easily, he was as much to lame as the other woman.

I forgave my EX for his cheating. I tried once and he went out and cheated again! Never trusted him after that.....That's why we got divorced.

It might never go away, unless you truely and completely forgive him.. Being mad at her changes nothing, you aren't married to her. She didn't owe you anything.. I am not saying I agree with what she did.. Point is you say you forgave him, but deep down did you really? It's the hardest thing to forgive. My husband cheated on me. And as for forgiving him, I try my hardest. But I haven't completely forgave him, and I might never. My advice forget about the chick (yes easier said then done, I still call my husband's chick Bimbo, so I am not good at taking my own advice). But in the end do you trust your husband again? Are you still hurt and mad when it comes to him?

just found out my wife of 14 years had cheated on me..... reading these stories is helping me ..... self esteem is shot to hell... im gonna keep reading for a bit

Wow I hate to hear stories like this or even like mine. I hate being the story. I don't blame you for the feelings that you have. I've had hateful feelings to the person my husband was with too. I actually called her co-workers and told them what she was like ( a home wrecker). I don't know how to build the trust either not to mention my self esteem. How did the counseling help? I just started.