The Biggest Lie.....

I am married....not even legally seperated. My daughers and I left their dad about 5 weeks ago. 

My husband was, I thought, the man I wanted to be with forever. However, he was a package deal and came with 3 boys from a previous marriage. I loved his boys and I put my career on hold to be the stay at home mom to them....and then 1,2 daughters (14 months apart). husband cheated on me.  And not just with anyone....with the boys' mom, his ex-wife.

The first time was in MY van when he went to pick her up from the airport two summers ago when she was taking them home with her for their summer visit. She gave him a "blow job" in my van. Then he called me up and asked me to make her eggs (after? during? I'll never know). She was diabetic, I was told, and needed protein because she left her insulin at home. He then brought her into my home.  She held my daughter. I took pictures of her with her sons. I welcomed her....

The second time was her son's birthday that fall. He paid for her plane ticket and hotel room.

The third time was New Year's day a couple of month's later. He paid a lot of money for a last minute plane ticket and a hotel room.

Then he started calling her this February....

Meanwhile....I was too busy being a mom to her kids. Being a mom to my kids. I knew our relationship was messed up but I also knew my husband was a **** at this point....I just didn't know he was doing THIS!

So, that's my story. My husband cheated on me with the woman whose children I was raising.

I lost my husband. I lost those kids. But I still have my daughters.....and I still have me.

It will be a while before I can trust again, though. A long while, I suppose!!

IThoughtHeWasMyLobster IThoughtHeWasMyLobster
31-35, F
5 Responses Aug 8, 2007

Its good to hear that you are strong. Hang in there as it will get better.

My heart aches reading this.... I am so sorry he has done this to you. He does not deserve a wonderful woman like you.

What a ****.I hope they are happy together.One dumb *** deserves another.I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.You deserve better and with a little luck you should find someone in no time.You and your daughters are beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you!Keep your head up.I know its hard but he's the one who should be ashamed.

How did I find out? Well I found out about the first bit of cheating by looking on a bank statement....he tried to bluff his way out by saying the plane ticket he purchased was for a "suprise trip" we were going to take that summer (it was a "surprise" trip he took to see his ex-wife and I never, for a minute, believed he was setting up a surprise for me). I found out the rest when I called his ex-wife....she lies like a dog but has the intelligence of a rock and is easy to read. She admitted HIS propositions....and then tried to say she rebuffed. I confronted him on these situations as if she HAD admitted to them and he folded. They are both very sure of their own intelligence....but, the truth is, I can think them BOTH under the table (or under the bed....whatever the case may be!!).<br />
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I am doing better with all of's hard getting my head around the enormity of the situation. But I know, now, that going back to him will NEVER be an I consider that progress. My girls are EVERYTHING and I consider them worth the price of being married to this schmuck for as long as I was (which, in the grand scheme of things, really wasn't that long).

That's rough. I think you'll find some good company here. I'm sure you'll find some people who can relate to you. Best of luck to you :-)