Married 3 Times, And Divorced 3 Times...

I started dating a girl when I was 22, the next summer we got married. Both parents said don't do it, your too young etc, but we didn't listen. After almost three years, a lot of stress (first house, renovations) I wanted to quit smoking but she didn't, things fell apart. She started going to the bar and hanging out till all hours of the night. The house was hell in a basket and I think we were to immature for so much responsibility.

My second marriage was a bit different. I met a girl on the internet and we chatted on the the net, and then later phone for 3 months before we met. She lived 3000 km's away so I went to see her because where I lived I hated it and needed to get out. I met her and things were awesome. We did go through a rough patch about a year later when I got so sick from smoking that I HAD TO QUIT, no choice. So in order for me to continue in this relationship she had to quit. I had gone back west, so she decided to come for a visit and she stayed for 2 years. We then decided to get married and planned the wedding back in Ontario for August 16, 2003. In May of that year her biological father died of a heart attack (3 months before the wedding). 2 weeks before we were married her step father found out he had terminal cancer and they gave him 3 years to live. Then 2 days before we got married the blackout of 2003 happened and caused a lot of stress. The wedding still went through, but 5 months later her step father passed away from Cancer and her mom was ill and had recent cancer surgery. Needless to say, we moved back to Ontario so she could be with her mom but my ex went down hill, and she started to drink and eventually found someone else that she worked with that offered her more support then I could...which I found really really upsetting. So I left and went back west.

Seven years later I meet a girl who is 18 and I am 32. Believe it or not we got a long very well, and things were wonderful. We moved back to Ontario in 2006 so she could goto university (Engineer). So I helped get her through school and things were still fun and going well, although we tended to be codependent of each other a lot. In 2010 we moved back to the town where I had lived with my ex because the girl I am with got a great job. We decided to get married in January of 2011. Things were still going great, and I had a vasectomy because we didn't want kids. I had gone back to school as well (architectural technologist). In the spring after we were married, we went to Vegas to visit my brother and things were great. Somewhere over the next few months, things started to change. She worked in an office of all guys, and a lot her age (24-30). I am fourteen years older than her. One night, she says to me " I don't really believe in the concept of marriage, and I only got married to make you feel better. I think that married people should live in their own places as it makes things more exciting, so do you want a divorce? She then goes on to say that she thinks men and woman or not meant to be monogamous and if I wanted to sleep with someone else to not lie about it. She then says her guys friends at work ask her to go out all the time and I need to trust her. Well, I was a little upset to say the least. I almost left her that summer after 5 months of marriage. I couldn't believe my ears. I later found lingerie that was never in our place before, and when I asked her she freaked out, saying I am paranoid. She also goes to the gym in the morning and said, how do you know I am even at the gym, I could be cheating on you. This just started a downward spiral, and things ended a month ago after she says I don't trust her, and that she wants to go out with whomever, wherever, till whenever and I shouldn't ask any questions or who drops her off. I should just trust her.

So my question is, Should ever marry again?? I couldn't trust her over things she said, plus I was a sensitive issue considering my second wife left me for someone at her work because she was emotionally messed up from the two deaths in her family...

I am doing a lot of reading, soul searching, and I have to finish school (1.5 years left). I feel very angry, sad, lost, and bewildered. I am staying positive, but it's hard to do so at times.

Thanks for reading...cheers to those going through the same thing in life...
markiemark1 markiemark1
Mar 31, 2012