Why Cant I just Get Him Out Of My System

i am 37 years old married but separted with two boys ages 9 and 11. i believe i have been emotionally abused over the yrs by my husband. he has left the marriage and no matter what i tried so hard to make us work did everything i could to make him stay.. we had counselling and still no matter what i do how mant times i change to please him give him his needs he is still not happy with me.. he says he is coming back and that he wants to work on our friendship first but i find it so hard to let go when he has showed me and told me over and over taht he does not want me and i am not the one and i need to seek help for my anger. im confused hurt and need help in trying to gain back my life and worth. please someone give advice.