Still In a Verbally Abusive Relationship, But a Light At the End of a Very Dark Tunnel?

Do you ever feel as though life sends you series of events to take place and that each thing happens for a specific reason?

Today was one of those days for me... and I cannot stop smiling (the kind of smile that creeps up unexpectedly and that warms your heart with the faintest thought). To summarize it, I had lost contact with a close friend over half a year ago, he had gotten a girlfriend and I was busy preparing to leave for school... We have a quaint history, of the most comfortable cuddling (I feel as though I cannot live without napping by him, he is the only person that I feel so content with life laying next to) and holding hands (under the stars with the crisp mountain air); besides the hints of history, we call each other best friends... but there is this spark! I know there is! I feel as though I am making it something, but I know it is there... I am not the only one who feels it, he too expresses his want to be near me, to cuddle amongst each other.

Back to my point, the other night after so many moments of paranoia that he and I were never going to speak again, I sent him a hasty message that asked for some form of closure if we were to be over with... a couple days pass and this morning I wake to a message expressing deep apologies for ever making me think that we were letting go of each other... throughout the day we text, almost every other text having one of us tell the other that we miss each other. We talk on the phone, instantly reconnecting and yearning to meet up as soon as possible... Through this, I come to find out that he is no longer with his girlfriend, and I am in an ending relationship...

The question is to pursue? He makes me so happy, unlike my abusive boyfriend I am ending it with now. I have butterflies, my heart is light, I am happy; everything is falling into a serene order. Is it too good to be true? I feel like if I pursue him, that it would help me break it completely off with the narcissistic boyfriend I have. It is just a sense of love, fun, and support. I think this is a sign.

I have not had a sign so clearly written in quite some time, and I am almost fearful of it... but I am tired of being verbally abused from a person that I do not care about.... He literally tells me everything that a man should never tell his girlfriend, or anyone... he makes me underestimate myself, and this good friend he makes me feel like the world is at my fingertips. Makes me feel like i can soar, I am timid with such uplifting feelings... I can't wait to see him and be embraced by him once again....

LG11 LG11
18-21, F
3 Responses Nov 15, 2008

What bothers me most about this experinience is the writer is so young.<br />
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nuf said

Just make sure that guy's girlfriend doesn't get hurt.

You are so lucky my friend.... I wish you the BEST!