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Need a Game Plan

I split up for the last time with my ex boyfriend a month ago.  I cut off all contact with him, which for the most part he respected but for once when he sent me a text.  We share a lot of the same friends so the chance of running into him has always been there.  last night, he showed up at the bar after several people asked him not to as well as my sending him a text asking him not to.  Well, I didn't handle myself well at all.  When I heard he was coming, I started crying and when he got there he said hi like it was not a big deal.  He sat at the end of the bar and I ignored him as best I could, but was crying anyway.  After a bit, he tried to start a conversation with me and I started crying harder.  My friend spoke up and told him to leave me alone.  He started yelling which freaked me out more and my friend took me out of there.

He still wins.  He still can control how I feel.  I don't like it.

 

I need a game plan because it is impossible to never see him again.  I don't want to not see my friends and I don't have the right to ban him from the bar.  Any ideas?  I need to figure out how to keep him from affecting me.

annetastic annetastic 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 19, 2008

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Sounds like she works at the bar.

Wouldn't you say that the really effective game plan would be wo wash him out of your hair? Write down all the things you'd like to tell him but can't and then burn it and wish the feelings of hurt to float away with the ashes. It's your life. You are in charge of it. You make the decisions who you will let hurt you.

Either A go to a different bar or B only have your friends over to your house. The second you knew he was coming you should have left.