The Thing That Bothers Me Most In My Life
my weight. I have always been about 10-25 pounds overweight. the only time i was ever close to skinny was when i used to use drugs years ago. i would do just about anything BUT drugs now, to be thinner, maybe even eat a tapeworm (ha! kidding) but really if I didnt love food so much, i would be anorexic. i have always, always been made fun of for being fat, always. especially in high school. i have this bright red hair so no one would leave me alone, they were always picking on me, like i was a big fat red target. kids can be ridiculously cruel. and i love chocolate, i mean i REALLY love it, so its the first thing i run to when i feel bad inside. which keeps the viscious cycle going, of course. get fatter, get made fun of more.
my weight is more under control now but its something i have grown to HATE with a passion. i try to accept myself the way i am but my own fat disgusts me. i cant see a light at the end of the tunnel because i get so discouraged, even when i make progress i feel like its never enough. i do things to control it like diet and exercise but the results arent immediate and drastic the way i want them to be so i give up. its sad. all i want for myself is to be happy and it seems like being skinny would help.