Feelin Like a Big Fat ****

When I was younger I was slim, and then I rmemeber, at age eight or so, this man, this grown man, telling me i'd "be real cute if i just lost a couple pounds".  didnt take his advise.  I found the idea if him thinking of me as attractive at that age (considering his) a little ****** u, and began to use my weight as a way of intentionally distancing others.
I used to get mooed at.
I slimmed down a bit in my ate teens, and remember feeling hot for a year or so-- i still had some bulges, bt everything else was so beautiful--my face, hair, clothes.  and i was so happy then. 
over the next 15 or so years i started feeling depressed, getting lazy, I dont know, I just made excuses, and here I am.  Nearing 30  and 300.  At  least I'm tall.  And funny.


Then again, arent all fat people jolly?
happyhooker happyhooker
26-30, F
7 Responses Mar 13, 2007

I am accutally 10 years old and im so fat that im 100 pounds by butt

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We live in a very materialistic society where many people don't see what's inside. Here is a very old saying from the twilight zone. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

YES....ON THE OUTSIDE WE ARE ALL JOLLY BUT DYING ON THE INSIDE....THAT'S WHAT I USED TO THINK BUT GUESS WHAT...THERE IS A POINT IN LIFE WHEN YOU REALIZE HAT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WITH THE POWER TO TELL YOURSELF IF YOU ARE HAPPY OR BEAUTIFUL OR SEXY OR SAD....I AM 42 AND NEARING 300 LBS. BUT I AM SEXY...I WEAR PASTELS, I WEAR HOT PINK CLOTHING, I WEAR BELTS, MINISKIRTS, HIGH HEELS, YES EVEN MERMAID DRESSES....I WEAR NIGHTIES...ALL TYPES....NO ONE HAS THE POWER TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BUT YOU.....DRESS UP AND FLAUNT YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR UNTIL YOU GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE LOOK AND THEN STRUT YOURSELF PROUDLY.....AND YES, THERE WILL BE THOSE IGNORANT PEOPLE WITH NEGATIVE THINGS TO SAY, BUT NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE..THERE WILL ALWAYS BE NEGATIVE PEOPLE OUT THERE...IGNORE THEM,,,BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE...STRUT YOURSELF....DON'T LET OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS KEEP YOU FROM LIVING YOUR LIFE....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE SEXY....YOU ARE......YOU.....

I feel for you I gained weight because I wanted to stop unwanted comments from old men I felt horrible and are dealing with it now. If you have friends exercise with them, cut back on soda, junk food, it isn't easy but you have life ahead of you if you don't care who else will some people in this world are very cruel and want to see an individual have problems. I know it is very hard to do but with patience and love you can do it go out and discover the beauty of life even the small things, keep a journal and write about things that make you happy,motivate you to lose weight. Good luck!

If you want to get out of depression again, maybe trying to lose weight will help. Exercise is known to help regulate the chemicals that help cause depression, or so I've heard. Anyway eating right couldn't hurt if you aren't going to exercise. Give your body a chance. Doing that may give you the chance to be happy again. You have to eliminate your problems even if it is one at a time.

Very good advice!

Let's ask Santa's shrink.