My Sister Just Doesnt Get It

I will try to make this clear but im so upset. Dad died over the weeked and we are organising the funeral. Thats not why im upset, im relieved he doesnt have to suffer anymore.

My sister wants to bring her husband, who sexually abused me, to the funeral. I am shattered. I know she wants the support and is scared people will ask her where he is.

I cant stop crying cos i know i wont be able to go if he is there. I just am not ready to face him, especially at this time. But my sister is so stubborn.

I feel so disgusted that im crying overHIM and not dad.

What would dad think if i didnt go? He would hate me.......

What do i do?
Violet86 Violet86
22-25, F
2 Responses Jun 21, 2011

why is there so many stories about sexual abuse - I'm sorry but i'm disgusted at how many i have come across!<br />
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Don't cry over him because his stony heart will feel no tears, your father deserves them<br />
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When i win the lottery, i'm travelling the world, punching sexual abusers in the face with a cactus glove

I would find out when your sister is going to be at the funeral with her husband then I would get there early and pay my respects and then leave.<br />
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There is normally a wake either the day before the funeral or the day of the funeral and I would go to that and pay my respects and then leave before the funeral starts.<br />
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I would not do anything that makes me uncomfortable and a funeral is already depressing enough; you do not need your abuser there starring you in the face and even trying to talk to you or hug you.<br />
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My son just passed away three weeks ago and the funeral home let me come and look at my son and be with him for awhile after they dressed him in the clothes I bought. You could do that.<br />
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Call your funeral home and ask can you come and spend a little time with your father after they dress him and you can pay your respects that way. Then you will not have to face your sister or your abuser.<br />
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I am quite sure your father would not want you to be uncomfortable at his funeral. Whatever you decide, he will understand. I know you will be visiting his grave site after the fact and you can talk to him and tell him all about your decision. Which I am quite sure he already knows and understand.<br />
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Your sister is being disrespectful toward you and your feelings. She is only thinking of herself. You should tell her exactly how you feel about what she is doing to you.<br />
I would not care what she thinks or what anyone else thinks if you do not show up at your father's funeral.<br />
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Take care and be blessed.