At What Point In Your Life To Do You Separate Yourself From Your Family?

I should know better, but deep down inside it still hurts me.
All I ever wanted was a family to love me for me. 
I would love to be able to open up and share and be myself around them. 
They just don't understand. They are too worried about what people think to care about my own happiness.
They rather me stay in an abusive relationship than be with a guy that loves me for who I am and makes me feel special.

Their words and actions hurt. Even after all these years, nothings ever good enough.
I gets so frustrating hearing other people talk about their families and they don't even realize how lucky they are.
I have to accept that I will never have a 'normal' life. 
I need to learn to get over the hurt.
I've wasted too much of my life being constantly disappointed by them. I don't want to hurt anymore.

I want to run away, but at the same time, I want to be able to spend time with my grandpa while he's still alive. 
So conflicted, as he is 93 yrs old this year and still has the nerve to tell me off over the phone telling me how much of a screw up I am
and how I've made such terrible decisions. I know he is just old and stuck in his ways, but I wish he could just be happy for me. 
I've done the most for him out of my whole family, but then my dad will make comments how I'm just using him for money.
I've never asked for anything.

I should just let go of all of it. Forget about them. They say they just want the best for me, but they've never really supported me in anything in life. 
I just hate how I feel so guilty, so obligated to go to family functions. 
I should focus on myself more and what makes me happy. And not feel guilty that I'm actually doing something for myself for once.

sweetsie sweetsie
26-30, F
3 Responses Apr 23, 2012

They are only going to get worse as they get older. If you can relocate and have mimimum contact with them, do it. I'm finally done with my mother for good. She's been criticizing me my whole life and I broken it off several times. She is so toxic in my life that I can't even talk to her on the phone. She's local and I'm her only child.

Hi Sweetsie, This name reminds me of a cute little black and white cat that my son and I would pet and hold as we passed by the house it lived at; I named the cat "the sweet" and also "sweet sweet". I can relate to what you say about your family. I was welcomed to come to Thanksgiving (my son and I went) but then we weren't welcomed back for Christmas. I'm never invited to any family functions. For some years not I felt like I wasn't even a member of the family. I had past problems with all 5 siblings of mine although my eldest 2 brothers changed for the better and have been kind to me. My sister's daughter is like 33 or about that and she has not spoken 1 word to me nor would she have a conversation with me in over 20 years and almost for no reason at all. Even though I'd moved away and not seen them for 4 years my niece still didn't speak 1 word to me and my sister said nothing to her about it (as always). I moved back to the town I hate at my sister's suggestion 6 months ago. Then after I got back she didn't welcome me for Christmas; she just griped at me when I called her about coming to pick us up for Christmas. I'm the only one she ever grips at or should I say steps all over since my self esteem is very low. It's like I moved back to the town I hate and then she wasn't very nice to me. I (my son and I) moved back here for nothing just to be miserable. And now we are stuck here; we don't have the money to leave again.

Good morning sweets.... <br />
<br />
This journey you are on is yours. No one else's. Your biggest responsibility is to you. When you started this journey you were cold and alone, when it ends you will be cold and alone. It's time to live your life for you. Take the responsibility of making yourself happy but remember there are consequences of our choices and realize what we think we want today we quite possible won't want tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Perhaps, the key is to not want. But rather to just be. What ever path you choose you deserve to be happy. The thing about happiness though is it does not come from people or things.... It comes from inside of you.<br />
<br />
<br />
Wishing you inner peace, love and happiness,<br />